Bowel Cleanse 2007

Just the thing to celebrate the upcoming holiday season!

I get to drink a gallon of vile tasting cherry stool softener.

Mmm mmm mmm!

Can't wait to get started!

I have to drink it until the poo is clear.

Oh well.

So, tonight I will be heading down to Chicago for my surgery on Thursday and hopefully will be able to post again in a couple of weeks (don't worry, no pictures). But I will probably be pretty drugged up, so my post might not be too intelligible.

Talk to you later!

Radioactive

I just got back from my CAT scan and they made me drink a bunch of nasty tasting stuff until I barfed up some, then had to drink some more to replace the barfed up part. Ick.

Then I was injected with the contrast dye.

When I was at Beloit I found out by a totally freak paralysis incident that I was allergic to CT dye. So this time I was prepared with this knowledge to combat the evil hives that resulted afterward. I took the Prednisone and the Q-Dryl to prevent the itchy bumps. But, alas, I still have hives, not as bad as before, but still there. AND I am also working on my hopefully last stomach full of vomit from the liquid nastiness they had me chug.

Will write more about details later, but right now, one more trip to the toilet and some shut eye.

Productivity

Today I rolled around on the floor and cried all day because of my abdomen pains.

So, no posts for quite a long while, but this is why.

If you want to know more, tell me a joke or a story, just drop me an email or post a comment - it will be a nice distraction from the floor.

The Other Americans

America is great, well, except for some of the other Americans. This is an account of the "other" kind that I don't really agree with on their trip to Tibet.

http://chad.theworldrace.org/index.asp?nMonth=3&nYear=2006

It still amazes me when I come across stuff like this.

You're Right Al Franken!

I have been reading Al Franken's book, "Lies And the Lying Liars Who Tell Them: A Fair and Balanced Look at the Right". It is a good read and brings up a lot of questions and good information. But he mentions something about Ann Coulter and the like only writing and appealing to the people who already consume their material, preaching to the choir if you will.

But is Al really doing anything all that different?

From that, I decided that I have to suck it up and read some of the writings from the hysterical right. They always say that it is good to know what the enemy is thinking. I know, I know, I shouldn't necessarily call the opposing side "enemies" but that does seem to be the terminology the current administration is comfortable with. I guess I could change it to the "evil doers", another nod to official administration lingo, and, ultimately, that might actually be more accurate because of what they are doing to systematically to bring down our nation.

I have to read Ann Coulter, Sean Hannity, Bill O'Reilly and others. To know how they are misrepresenting facts, twisting information and lying to the masses.

My favorite example of Coulter's lying that Al highlights would be the using "any words written in a newspaper can be attributed to that newspaper" technique.

Coulter wrote in her book:

"For decades, The New York Times had allowed loose association between Nazis and Christians to be made in its pages. Statements like these were not uncommon: "Did the Nazi crimes draw on Christian tradition?" ... "the church is 'co-responsible' for the holocaust...."

Team Franken researched the bejeezus out of this book and found that the first quote was actually from a 2001 book review that was in the Times in which the reviewer was framing a question posed by the book he was reviewing. The second quote is actually a quote of a quote from a 1998 Times article called "John Paul's Jewish Dilemma." In which the author of the article is quoting a critic of the church.

Nice technique, huh?

So, how much of this is going on? Not just in published works, but on TV, radio and newspapers? How much of the nation's media does Rupert Murdoch own? How much personal, political philosophy finds its way into what we view, read, listen?

So, that is my most recent charge, to read the shrill works of the right. But I don't want to buy them in the mainstream (don't want any money going to them) so will have to look for them used and library (I guess, but wouldn't that be an embarrassing checkout history? I will have to check out the Satanic Bible and The Communist Manifesto just to balance it out).

Awhile back I saw Clerks II and there was a funny part about reclaiming a phrase that is commonly regarded as a racial slur (has to do with a tailed primate and a, ummm..."deck"). There is another word that in recent history has been made out to be a dirty word. I think we should reclaim it.

Liberal.

Okay, off to tackle my neo-con book challenge! If I don't post up for long periods of time it is probably because I am rocking myself in the corner, confused and mumbling nonsensically.

Wish you happy everyday and happy reading if you choose to take the book-con challenge with me!

Feeling crummy :(

I feel like a couple of rungs below shit.

Ugh.

I have been having a lot of pain and I should go see a doctor. I won't go into specifics but it seems like my body is turning against me and is attacking me from the inside. Sometimes my body wages a sudden battle when I am out and doing stuff and there is so much action that I have to just retreat to my home and rest.

They also like to stage skirmishes at night, so my sleep has come under attack as well. And lately for some reason they really rise and revolt whenever I eat barbecue sauce.

It sucks.

Shame on you Denzel Washington!

I went to see American Gangster last Friday and it was okay. I think I was expecting something more dynamic, but it was still a decent enough flick to hold my attention for about 3 hours. Kinda weird to critique someone's life though - "Hey Frank, your life was at times a little slow paced for me."

Ah well.

But the main thing that I took away from the movie was, "look what happens when you turn chinchillas into coats! Look at the whole downfall of your heroin empire because someone supported the slaughter of 100 or so chinchillas. You deserve it schmuck!" Yes, I taunted a movie. But seriously, who could kill sweet little chinchillas?

Yep, that's what I got out of the movie.

Good job Hollywood.

Going Retro!

- insert your favorite retro tune here -

Retroactive that is!

I need, need, need to catch up on my pile of posts so when I make an update I will post an announcement here with the title so you can find it! I will also pair it with one of my favorite retro songs just for my own personal amusement (note: sometimes the song will have nothing to do with post, or really be retro, but hey, it's my blog). Happy reading!

**************************************
4 November 2007 - Original Post date: 13 September 2007, Title: Chinchilla Fun Song: Welcome to the Jungle

4 November 2007 - Original Post date: 21 October 2007, Title: Happy Birthday? Song: What's My Age Again?

30 October 2007 - Original Post date: 12 September 2007, Title: China Moments Song: What I am (Edie Brickell)

30 October 2007 - Original Post date: 19 September 2007, Title: Stealth Chinese Song: The Peter Gunn Theme

30 October 2007 - Original Post date: 2 October 2007, Title: The World's Biggest Tea Party Song: None it has its own sound track, check it out! This isn't a China post, but something that I had started in MN, but never posted up because of laziness.

30 August 2007 - Original post date: 21 July 2007, Title: Staring at err... Celebrating Diversity Song: Like a Rolling Stone

30 August 2007 - Original post date: 21 July 2007, Title: Deja Vu Song: Take Me Home, Country Roads

17 August 2007 - Original post date: 20 July 2007, Title: Q: What has 2 wings, 4 engines and 400+ happy people? Song: Here I go Again (gotta whip out the Whitesnake!)

16 August 2007 - Original post date: 20 July 2007, Title: Leaving on a Jet Plane. Song: Leaving on a Jet Plane (duh).

BOO!!!

It's Halloween and all I have to say is:

Wonka Bag! Wonka Bag! Wonka Bag! Wonka Bag! Wonka Bag! Wonka Bag! Wonka Bag! Wonka Bag! Wonka Bag! Wonka Bag! Wonka Bag! Wonka Bag! Wonka Bag! Wonka Bag! Wonka Bag! Wonka Bag! Wonka Bag! Wonka Bag! Wonka Bag! Wonka Bag! Wonka Bag! Wonka Bag! Wonka Bag! Wonka Bag! Wonka Bag! Wonka Bag! Wonka Bag! Wonka Bag! Wonka Bag! Wonka Bag! Wonka Bag! Wonka Bag! Wonka Bag! Wonka Bag! Wonka Bag! Wonka Bag! Wonka Bag! Wonka Bag! Wonka Bag! Wonka Bag! Wonka Bag! Wonka Bag! Wonka Bag! Wonka Bag! Wonka Bag! Wonka Bag! Wonka Bag! Wonka Bag! Wonka Bag! Wonka Bag! Wonka Bag! Wonka Bag! Wonka Bag! Wonka Bag! Wonka Bag!

Now, I don't expect all of you to understand the sheer beauty of the Wonka Bag, in fact there may only be one other person out there that shares the full tilt Wonka passion with me.

Nothing special to share today. Just Happy Halloween and eat lots of candy!

Chinchilla Paging

Last night my chinchillas paged me.

They aren't the most vocal of creatures, but they do have little sounds that they occasionally make. One of the sounds that I hear every now and then is for companionship. It is a little chirpy/chugging kind of sound. Usually when I hear it, it means that they want something.

When I was in MN, they would make this little sound and I would go in to check on them and pat them on their little heads. Happy chinchillas. Sometimes they just want treats and will make their little noise until they get their greedy little hands on a cube of papaya or alfalfa ring.

I usually check on them before I go to sleep. But the other night I neglected to do so. So I had just settled in to go to sleep when I hear their the call. I thought that they would stop. Nope. Chugging, chugging, chugging. They are both calling. Finally, I get up and check to see what they want. It seems that they just wanted to play. I let them poke their head out of the door and scratched behind their ears and closed them back up for the night. Back in bed and time to go to sleep.

Apparently not quite satisfied with the little chinnie massage they both start to chirp again and once again they just won't stop. I get back up and go into their room. They are both waiting for me by their cage door. I go in and try to give them a bribe. No go. They weren't interested in treats. They just want to play or something. So, we played a little chase game they like and I went back to bed. 10 minutes later they both start chugging again. This time they also wake Matt up. They normally don't make so much noise. So, again I went into their room and they were back at their door eager for my to play with them. This time I just decided to sleep on the floor next to their cage to quiet them down for the night. So, I curled up on the floor and listened to them bubble and coo for a little bit before I drifted off to sleep. When I woke up in the morning, I woke to find both of my little girls fast asleep right next to me on the floor of their cage. I guess they were just lonely.

Happy Birthday?

So today is my birthday.

31. Meh.

I guess the big difference between 30 and 31 is that now I am officially IN my thirties rather than just hanging onto the 29/30 cusp.

Old?

Not really. Always will be people older and younger.

I didn't do much for my birthday, I just wasn't feeling up to it. We went to Madison and enjoyed the Farmer's Market - I got the last box of pumpkin squares, I grabbed them just out of some college kid's lazy reach. HA! Take that youngin'! Not quick enough to take my p-squares away from me! Looks like my China grabbin skillz are still up to snuff. Oh, and I felt entitled to them because I was coming from out of town, and, well shit, it was my birthday. I dunno, but if it came down to it, I might have pulled an episode like the bacon in China. Maybe. I'm about 60% sure I would have done something to wind up with the goodies.

Other farmers market treats we indulged in - spicy cheese bread and an almond bear claw. Yum! For lunch we went to Kabul, which is a long standing Beloit favorite. I remember making the trip up to Madison by Van Galder bus and later on in the comfort of private transport, just to get a nice bowl of the Mashawa soup and bread. I got my good ol' standby, the curry chicken and it was delicious!

After the Madison fun we headed back to Racine. I ended my birthday with a pumpkin shake from Culvers. Man, October is just the best month for so many reasons! Pumpmkin delights everywhere, cranberry treats and pecans. Mmmm!

Anyhow, thanks for all of the birthday wishes!

At least I am still immature.

Sorry this post is so vanilla. It should be pumpkin flavored.

Dracunculus Medinensis

Nothing too exciting to report. I have been trying to catch up on my email that I let get way out of control. I found messages from July that I had not responded to - yikes!

Anyhow, I am getting ready to skip town again to my new home and I will finally be able to stop living out of my suitcase and cardboard boxes. Geez, I have been a little hoboish, but y'know, the kind of hobo that has a roof over his or her head and cable TV. Oh, and I haven't had to eat beans out of a can - yet.

I was going to work on some posts, but got distracted by the unreasonable size of my inbox. I have too much writing to do and no attention span to do it. Oh well, eventually I will get all of it done - I have some fun posts to put up...some day....

The post name?

Has nothing to do with anything. It is my favorite parasite. I had to study and research it in college. And no, for those of you who know me really well, I have never had this parasite. It is a little questionable what I might have swimming around in my system now as not all is right in the world, if the world is my mid-section, that is.

So, that's all for now, but I will be adding and posting when I can. Oh, and my flickr pro account expired :( So all of my nifty groups and whatnot are gone, but they will come back when I renew. But renewing my subscription, unfortunately, is not one of the $$$ priorities at the moment. I do have some photos to load, but now I have a small monthly limit, so that will be slow going until I renew.

So that is about it for the updates for now. Keep checking back!

The World's Biggest Tea Party

I think this is one of the more creepy and ridiculous things that I have seen in a really long time - and that's from someone who is just back from China! I was watching some vapid television program and completely spacing out the surrounding world when this little gem popped up on the screen.

"The World's Biggest Tea Party"

I couldn't believe that I was actually seeing this, this, this...thing on TV! Who would actually think that My Little Pony would represent well on stage? Who's brainchild was this? They have international shows - does My Little Pony translate well? and, my most important question, WHY???

I didn't really, really believe that this was true, so I did what any responsible, inquiring person would do. I went online. True. There is a stage production of My Little Pony. AND they have a preview video! 1:18 minute long gem of a video clip of singing and dancing ponies. I think everyone should check it out - http://www.mylittleponylive.net/default.asp Yes, speechless would be the words to describe how this Hasbro production left me.

I do truly believe that the best way to watch this would be in the same way that many young adults watch the Teletubbies. Still, I don't know what is scarier that baby sun thing or these dancing and singing ponies. Hmmm...okay, I still think the baby sun thing is still far creepier, but dancing ponies, in my opinion, isn't too far removed from the creepy children's programming awards.

Then I noticed that it had suddenly gotten very quiet in the room. I looked over to the TV set. Apparently, the TV was in as much shock as I was in because it completely froze up on the ad for the Tea Party leaving its overly pink picture burned into the forefront of my memory.

That station remained frozen on that image for the rest of the night. Apparently too terrified to change.

Stealth Chinese

Being back from China has had some interesting moments. It's not like I feel a certain camaraderie towards Chinese people I happen to meet here in the Cities. BUT I can understand some of the things that they say.

MWAHAHAHAHA!!!

I have had just a few run-ins with the language but the best one so far was when I was in a dressing room. A Chinese woman went into the stall next to me. Her son peeked under the door and waved hello to me before his mom swiftly pulled him up. A few moments later the little boy wanted to go, so he started to whine, "Zou! Mama wo yao zou! Zou! Zou!" or "Go! Mom I want to go! Go! Go!"

I think the general tone of this request coming from the under 8 crew always sounds the same no matter the language. It was really funny to me. I started to laugh from my little room. Then the little boy poked his head under again and laughed to. He pointed at me and said, "A Chinese!" I corrected him and told him that I was Korean, which he then asked what a Korean was.

After everyone was dressed, I got to meet his mother and we talked in Chinglish for a little bit and I told her that I had recently come back from China. She was originally from the southern part of China and came over because her husband was working over here. Anyhow, it was fun to eavesdrop in on another conversation in a foreign language. Now, I know that my Chinese skillz are not very good at all, but it is interesting to overhear little snippets of conversation and see what the "foreigners" are thinking about the little bit of world that I now occupy once again.

Chinchilla Fun

Today my mom brought home a little pet harness and leash for small animals. I had been wanting to try it on Deva, one of my little chinchillas. Now, many of you have never met Deva, but she is just about the tamest chinchilla ever. I can just kinda push her over and pet her belly. Easy mark. So operation, "Walk the chinchilla" was beginning to take shape.

Task One: Get Chinchilla Out of Cage. This was pretty easy as she is almost too trusting and can easily be tempted by a raisin. So chinchilla out and ready to proceed with Task two.

Task Two: Put Harness on Chinchilla. This isn't as easy as one might think. You have a little creature who looks a lot chubbier than she actually is and that can shed her fur at will and (the most obvious part of the operation) does not want said harness put on her. So my little Deva squirms and squirms, gets the strap in her mouth so she can slip it through. Puts her arms out in a strange position so it is impossible to line up the straps. Ugh. Worse that a toddler getting ready for bed. But the end of everything I was wearing about a chinchillas worth of fur and I had a very pissed off little ball of chinchilla fury.

Task Three: Attach leash. Deva tried to make a break for it with the harness on before I could attach the leash. She wound up just jumping and flipping on the bed wrestling with the harness. I got the leash on on put her on the floor. Squirt! She popped right out of the harness and ran under the bed.

Task Four: Lure chinchilla out with piece of papaya and repeat task two.

Success!?! She HATED the whole thing and while on the leash would just flip around and circle her tail trying to figure out what was happening. I know she didn't like it, but it was still really funny. Laughing at the misery of others, ah, good times.

I don't think that it help that (I think) she knew she looked utterly stupid. Once back on the bed she struggled with the harness and flipped and flipped until she just decided to lay there, dejected until I took the harness off.

Oh well. I was good for a laugh and now I know what to do when she's naughty 'cause she was starting to have fun with her old chinnie punishment.

Eventually I'll put up a picture. Eventually.

Filling my head with crap

Yes, yes, that is what I have been doing since getting back to the US. I have been systematically and ruthlessly filling my head with crap. Maybe it is because I need to catch up on 2 years of stupid TV pop culture crap, maybe it is because all of the channels (except for one) are in English, maybe it is because everything is new, or maybe it is because I just have to see who Bret Michaels picks in the end of his reality show. I dunno. I can't stop watching.

I was watching CSI: Miami the other day and my dad asked me if it was a re-run. I just had to laugh a little as I would really have no idea if it was or not. Everything is new to me. The crap is fun for now and I have been finding some good stuff!

I do have some favorites - I loooove the Food Network! Unwrapped is great and I just finished watching the last installment of Feasting on Asphalt 2 - The River Run (motorcycle trip up the Mississippi River and stopping to enjoy the local cuisine along the way). Also I can't get enough of LA and Miami Ink! Other than that I have been just watching the marathons of CSI, Law and Order, and The Sopranos. Good to know that I have been using my time at home productively.

Between episodes of the Dog Whisperer, I have managed to get some things done like look for apartments, jobs, cars and such. I have also been sorting through a bunch of my old stuff and the oodles of boxes that have been coming from China. So far, nothing too broken! It is fun to go through all of the China stuff - a lot of, "I remember bargaining for that!" nostalgia.

Hmmm...what else do I do...I do some surveys online and get $$$ and gift cards for doing so, win stuff, etc. I like winning stuff. I think I will try to do it more often. This may seems like an unusual if not impractical goal to have, but for me, it actually makes a little sense. I win stuff. I just do.

Every now and then I will email, but haven't been too good at that lately. I went out to see a couple of cars and met the most apathetic used car salesman ever. It was almost comical. It almost seemed as though he was trying not to sell a car. ANYHOW, still no car. Don't know if I will get one before I move again, but I am looking for 1999 or newer, under 80,000 miles, 4 door, manual or automatic car. Pretty broad requirements, but it would be nice if it wasn't too big and sorta cute.

Sometimes I read. Not a lot, but sometimes.

I hang out with my mom. She's cool.

I had another toe stubbing day recently - same little left toes as in China, and still hurts like a !?%#*

I keep on telling you to hold on for more posts, but have only been working on them half-heartedly. I just haven't been in the writing mood lately. I have some more pictures to post up too - the last batches from China. But I need to renew my Flickr subscription, maybe after we have a little more money....

Anyhow, that's about it. I have some other recent events to write about, but mostly I have been filling my belly with cheese popcorn and my head with guilty pleasures. So all in all I would have to say that I am now full of crap :)

I Suck.

It's true.

I haven't been working on my posts at all.

AND I haven't been answering any email.

I don't have any good reason, I just don't feel like doing anything. I'm just lazy. Absolutely, positively lazy.

Wanna get me on the phone? Chances are I won't pick it up. If you leave a message there is a pretty good chance I won't call back.

Wanna email me? I might read it, but no guarantee. Will I write back? From the way things are going and the current size of my inbox, I would answer that with a big N-O.

Wanna try to IM with me? Good luck I might be on, but you can't see me.

Wanna invite me to be your friend for a social networking type of thing? Keep sending me those invites and MAYBE I'll get around to it, but not until at least two of the invite time frames expire.

Hmmm...sounds pretty anti-social, doesn't it. Not like, the clinical anti-social disorder kind of anti-social (eek), but a little more like the self-imposed isolation kind.

I'll try harder.

But first I have some serious corner time to think about what I have done (or in my case, what I haven't done).

China Moments

Like "Senior Moments" but, like with China.

So the adjustment is going very well. I am having fun being back and having the opportunity to hang out with my parents again. But I thought that some of you would like to hear about some of my China moments - well the top three, the rest would bore me by telling you.

1. Toilets. Y'can't smell the public ones from down the hall. There is paper in every stall, each stall has its own door, and you can sit down. I must confess, I still sometimes throw my used paper in the garbage can rather than flush it down. I do have to say though that I LOVE going to the bathroom without an audience. Not that I really had a huge problem with it (at least later on in China) but I still prefer doing my business without one.

2. Chinese and Chinglish. I did spend most of my time in China speaking English, but I didn't know how much I got accustomed to saying certain things in Chinese. And now when I need to ask or say the English equivalent, the Chinese comes out first. Usually it has to do with asking for something, asking where something is, asking what something is and asking what the price is of something. But there are other things too, but I won't go in to all of the excruciating details of all of that.

3. English. I often find myself not listening to the English being spoken at me. It is just too fast sometimes, so I just glaze over and not really listen to anything of what is being said. I also find myself speaking really, really slow and often using very simple English. Sometimes in public, I think that other people may think that I am a foreigner because my English is, at times, so strange, slow and simple. Either that or a little retarded. Sorry, but it's true.

Car Sick :P

Ugh. I am tired of looking for cars. Why can't someone just give me a rad car? There is just too much to consider. Ack!

So, to all of you out there, do you have any car advice for me?

The Tale of the Least Offensive

This past weekend I hit the road on the Greyhound bus. It was interesting. The first leg of the trip brought me to La Crosse, WI. It was an okay ride, hardly any people on the bus so we could all spread out and not have to look at each other once. We stopped off in Winona for our little break and I got myself an excellent Bloedow's doughnut at the Sinclair station. Winona has the most Sinclair stations that I have ever seen in a smaller city!

Anyhow, I met Matt in La Crosse and we drove around the city for a little bit to see if it would be a place where we would like to live and then set off for Madison. Madison was great! It was really nice to visit our former home. I got a great deal off of Priceline for a hotel room and the first official stop on the Madison tour was indeed the most important, Casa de Lara.

Casa de Lara...oh so good! It was delicious as usual and did not disappoint. I had my usual, the especial burrito, washed down with an Horchata and Matt delighted in his Nopalito con Queso. Everything tasted sooo good - god we missed that food. We were able to find an acceptable Mexican substitute while we were in China, but nothing even remotely comparable to Casa de Lara in Madison. I have a feeling that we will always go back to Madison for a little treat from the house of Lara.

On Thursday we made the rounds. We visited my Beloit pals Ben and Josh at their awesome store, Civitas (Ki-vee-tas) and went down for a little peek at State Street and also stopped in at Matt's former office. Later I went to visit The Guild. I loved working there and they were great to see again! There have been many changes to the office since I left, but it is good to see that the company has grown and nice to see the people who helped make my time there so wonderful! Unfortunately I was not able to visit my couple of Sand County pals, but I will just have to come back to see them (and get a little Mexican food magic).

After the Madison fun we headed out to Kenosha. Kenosha. Ummm... Let's just say it wasn't for me. Or for Matt. It seemed quite run down and there was at least 1 or 2 houses for sale on just about every block. The cheap hotel that we stayed at was a smelly dive. We were in a "cottage" aka "cement cell". The check in woman made me feel uncomfortable with her painted on smile and vacant eyes. I don't know if any of you have seen the horror flick, "Vacancy", but it kinda gave off that kind of vibe to me. Like at any second, someone would pop out of the bathroom and kill us. The room smelled, the a/c was right above my head on the bed and the drain in the sink burped up a spider. Groovy.

We drove around the town quite a bit to find that with every block we explored, the city did not really get any better to us. The downtown was really run down and on the fringe of the city were the basic grocery and national chain sort of stores. But nothing really charming or interesting about the city - except for one thing, Frank's Diner, which was featured on the Food Network and I will talk about a little later.

So after knocking myself out for the night with anti-histamine (if I was going to be killed by the creepy check-in woman at least I wouldn't really know...), we went into town for Matt's interview. I hit the streets for about an hour. I quickly ran out of things to look at. There is a nice looking city museum and a new Upper Midwest Civil War museum (will open in 2008), but nothing really fun downtown. A lot of closed store fronts and particle board windows. I wound up just sipping a latte at a cafe right across the street from Matt's interview.

After the interview Matt and I went to one of the treasures of this city, Frank's Diner. It was excellent! My burger was gi-normous and tasty! I got a most excellent 1/2 pound, blue cheese and bacon in the middle, grill perfect burger. Mmmm-mmm-mmm! If I had my camera I would have taken a picture of it (I mean, why only take pictures of foreign food?). I couldn't finish all of it, but I knew I could count on Matt to step up to the plate and over eat for me.

After a filling lunch (Frank's is known for something called "the garbage plate") we decided to drive around the surrounding areas to see if there was a more appealing place for the two of us. We really liked Racine. It's no Madison, but it was a nice looking place and had some charm to the city, it's livable and close to Milwaukee.

After we wasted as much time as we possibly could driving around the Racine area, we headed up to Germantown to visit another Beloit friend. After we exhausted the entertainment possibilities there, we just decided to wait for her in the parking lot of her condo. It was so great to catch up with her again! We hadn't seen each other for about 4 years because she was still abroad when we were leaving for China. Anyhow, she took us out to dinner since Matt and I are poor and we had a good time catching up.

Anyhow, the next day we all got up bright and early and set out for Starbucks, where she moonlights as a barista and she gave me the hook up with a little taste sneak peek of the pumpkin spice latte (my favorite). Then Matt and I headed back to Madison to go to the Farmers Market. We had fun walking around the square again and got almost all of our favorite treats - spicy cheese empanadas, whoohoo!

Then it was time for me to catch my bus back to the cities. The bus was coming up from Chicago, so a lot of the bus was fairly full. I was lucky though, I was the last person to get a solo seat, meaning I had no seat partner. Now I hadn't really ridden the bus for a long time since my Beloit days, so I had long forgotten the rule of not mixing races when choosing to partner up in a seat and, of course the rule of the least offensive.

You can see the rules go into action the moment that solo seat riding has been ruled out as an option, then everyone in a seat avoids eye contact (lest it be mistaken as a friendly invite to seat share) and the one seeking a seat starts to walk down the long row at a steady pace (as to not seem desperate) and sizes up his or her options. "Who can I tolerate sitting next to for the next X hours?" Tolerate. As the seat less wanderer makes his or her way down the aisle they have the power - the power to take away a cushy ride on the bus from someone. So people will put a bag up on the seat, pretend to be asleep, make themselves seem really large, burp/fart, etc. Anything they can do to avoid the question.

"Is anybody sitting here?"

Once that question is asked there is no right of refusal, all one can do is wince out a smile and say, "Oh, no" as you try to shove yourself as close to the window (or aisle) as humanly possible so not to risk *gasp* touching each other (shrieks in horror).

Quite an amazing process!

I had forgotten about the rules completely. I was too busy rejoicing in my luck on being the last single seated person and was just in the process of looking up at the last of the seat less wanderers when I made eye contact (dammit). As soon as that happened he coasted on over and asked the question. I had no other choice but to coax out a smile and respond, "Oh, no" and

I was the least offensive and

I got a seat partner.

Troubled Bridge Over Water

Yes, I mean it like that.

I am apologizing to all of you who have written to me expressing concern about the recent bridge collapse in the past weeks because...I never wrote back to you.

Um. Sorry 'bout that. I didn't mean to worry you all.

I am fine and wasn't anywhere near the site when it happened. My family is also fine.

Thank you all for your concern and I promise that I will be more expeditious with my email replies when I am in the vicinity of another disaster.

More blog stuff on the way - I promise and apologize for my uber-slacking!

Catch Up

I owe you a ton of posts! I will be gradually chipping away at all of the posts that I have drafts of or that I just haven't bothered to write down yet. I fully blame China, not my own laziness....

Yeah, um...

It is true though that I haven't been able to really access my blog in China since I got back from Guyuan and the remote posting by email was just not working either. So I did try to post. A little.

I am back in the US and not quite sure about being back yet. It is different and a little scary. But I will of course tell you all about it later :)

Just hang on for a little while longer and I will have oodles of posts for you all to enjoy! I will put an anouncement up if I post-date some of the entries.

Talk to you later!

WDCD?

Cheney to be in charge during Bush colonoscopy

* Story Highlights
* President Bush will have a routine colonoscopy Saturday
* While he's anesthetized, his powers will be transferred to the vice president
* Bush had last colonoscopy in 2002, which found no problems

So my question is with these presidential powers...

What Did Cheney Do?

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Staring at...err...Celebrating Diversity

WHEW!

Back in the good ol' US of A, finally!

My Molly Brown crew helped me lug my bags onto my cart and we all headed to immigration. I got a nice, "welcome home!" from the official and got waved through by customs (whew!). Then came the next task - finding and re-checking in for my flight to Minnesota. I had a concern, if I would have to pay the overweight charge again as it was a new airline. I mentioned this to one of my plane friends, and he said to just tell them the story and they would let get away with it.

So, I get to my new airline ticketing line and it is finally my turn. I pull all of my stuff onto the scale only to hear from my fabulously flamy ticketing agent, "Sweetheart, your bag is overweight and I will have to charge you..." I exhaled (I was holding my breath!) and before I took my next breath in I heard from the line, "She was a volunteer in China for the past 2 years! Let her through!" and "She hasn't been home for 2 years and was on that delayed flight out of Beijing - let her through!" The agent just smiled and passed my bags on through. Before he gave me my ticket, he grabbed my hands and said, "You're almost home honey! Just a little longer, hang in there!" then took my hand and walked me out to the door leading to security and the concourses. Thank you crew and ticketing agent!

My initial impressions upon coming back were how big the people were. I had become used to being "the big one" but now I look absolutely tiny in comparison! Also, I admit, I was staring at the black people. Not just glancing, but full on staring. I would catch myself time and time again, but I just couldn't stop. Jesus. I can't go out in public until I can learn to stop it. I mean, I can at least squint and pretend that the Mexicans are Chinese. But black people, wow! Fascinating.

Security check. My first in-country flight and I get randomly selected to go through the special security screening. The man scribbled yellow highlighter all over my boarding pass and wouldn't give it back to me until I was finished with the screening. Ugh. The person conducting my special screening was a big black dude named Tyrone. When I gave him my ticket he gasps and bellowed out, "What did you do?!?!?" then burst out laughing. We had a little time to kill between me and the person in the security quarantine area so he filled me in on all of the airport security stuff since I had left the US - I got another refresher on the new carry-on liquids allowance. Finally my turn - shoes off, computer out, jacket off, arms spread, blah, blah, blah. I got the wand treatment from the female screener on duty and then had to open my stuff for swabbing. Finally I got my now bright yellow ticket back and was waved to an area to put all my stuff back together.

I had forgotten that O'Hare is actually just a huge shopping mall with airplanes. So I looked around, got a doughnut and bagel (extra cream cheese from the bagel guy because he was nice). I also had completely forgotten about sales tax, so both times I had my money all ready to pay and, whoops, surprise! Tax. I bet people thought that I was a foreigner, looking all around, staring at black people, speaking English a little too slowly for a native speaker, smiling at everyone, y'know.

Anyhow, I made way to my gate and had the misfortune of over hearing a conversation about why Snakes on a Plane was not a realistic situation. It was then that I had my first "it really sucks to be able to understand everything" moment.

Finally it was time for my final leg of my journey home. My last flight - a mere hour until I would be back home. One more hour after the 45 some odd hours it took me to get back to the US.

Home.

I got into the Minneapolis airport at night and walked down the concourse toward baggage claim - I saw an i-pod vending machine! And when I got to the baggage carousel, there were my parents to welcome me back home, complete with cheddar cheese goldfish crackers and Diet Dr. Pepper. Ahhhh...so good to finally be home!

Deja Vu

Have you ever had one of those days where you felt like you have already lived it before? Well I had one of those days, except, unfortunately I HAD lived it before. But there were some subtle differences like:

I was able to get my sweaty paws on the new Harry Potter book before it was released in the United States.

Everybody on my plane arrived at the airport at the same time.

400+ people got to cut in front of the line.

Everyone was slightly punchy and a little smelly.

Ahhh, my do it all over again day, Leaving China part deux. It went really smoothly! The airline did everything it could to make it as easy as possible for us to try it again. They paid for our hotel and transportation, gave us food vouchers and upon arrival at the check-in counter, they gave us each a "Friendship Package" - in other words, "My bad. Fill this out and we'll give you a free ticket so you don't hate us too much." All went good at the re-check in, they had to book me on a different airline for my trip from Chicago back to the Twin Cities, then we get to go through immigration and security AGAIN! Argh! The most tedious line waiting time of them all. I don't know how many times I had to listen to the new regulations regarding liquids you plan on carrying on the airplane.

This time I was stopped by security - do I have any liquids. No. Am I sure? Yes. Are I sure that I don't have any liquids? Ummm, wait!!! I pulled out my contact case that had the most miniscule amount of saline left in them. She looked at me and gave me the international "are you serious?" look and waved me through.

Right.

Next - computer out, pockets empty, walk though the arch. Done. At least in China I didn't have to take off my shoes. Then I found myself with some time to kill. Hmmm...I had spent all of my money the day before so I decided to try to see about spending my food vouchers. Hello Starbucks!

Okay, so blah, blah, blah, wasting time in the airport. Blah, blah, blah, reading Harry Potter. Blah, blah, blah, talking to some of the people on my plane to make sure we were all in the right place. Well eventually we all shared why we were in China. So I told my warm and fuzzy, I'm a volunteer exclaimation point story. After hearing that I hadn't been home in two years, they officially started the "Let's get The Unsinkable Molly Brown Home" club. Which didn't really have any actual benefits besides being able to cut in line and extra cake at meal times, but it was all good. I amused them with my tales about my time in China and they fed me cake. I think it was an equal trade off.

Right before we took off I overheard one of the air hostesses talking about the engine failure she said, "Yeah, I think they should just retire the 747. I mean, pieces of the planes are just falling off all of the time." -uncomfortable silence- "I mean, not this plane, this one has been checked over, but you know what I mean." Awesome. "Pieces of the planes are just falling off all of the time." What a nice little tidbit right before we take off.

When we took off there was a nice cheer as we took to the skies, again. I was happy that most of the people on the flight were pretty well humored about the situation and in a way it made us a more jovial bunch. We weren't holding hands and singing our faves from the Sound of Music or anything, it was just more friendly feeling. It was fun.

Q: What has 2 wings, 4 engines and 400+ happy people?

A: Not my 747!

Subtitle Choices:

Leaving China was so much fun, I thought that I would try it again!

OR

Oh, so that is what jet fuel looks like!

OR

I heart customs and immigration

The choice is up to you, my friends :)

Yup, I am back in Beijing, I guess just couldn't stay away!

So, I got to the airport okay, said goodbye to my students, got flooded with sweet goodbye text messages, got all checked in, paid my overweight bag charge (eek), went through the absolute joy that is know as immigration and finished spending my remaining kuai at the airport. Everything was going really smoothly! Like butter.

We all boarded and left basically on time. I was feeling really lucky as my row was one of only two which didn't not have the middle seat booked. So my row mate and I were able to spread out a little more and celebrated our "we have a little more airplane seat freedom" with a Trident gum toast. We took off and were on our way cruising through the sky at dusk. It was beautiful! We went over some mountains that looked all purple and misty, hard to describe just how enchanting it looked.

We were about 2 hours out of Beijing and I was just finishing up saying my mental goodbyes to the country that had been my home for the past two years and to the people who I have gotten to know and love when I was interrupted by the overly spastic dinging of the seat belt bell to get everyone back into their seats.

DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING!!!

-Crackle-

"Hello this is the captain. I am very disappointed to inform all of you that one of our engines has stopped working. I assure you that our other three engines are perfectly functional and we could definitely make the flight back to Chicago safely, but the responsible thing to do is to head back to Beijing and try it again. I apologize for all of this inconvenience and I am very disappointed that we will not be able to make the trip, but this is the most responsible thing to do. Please stick close to your seat and we will keep you updated as best and as often as we can. Thank you for your understanding and patience."

What?!? Engine out? Going back to Beijing?

Just them we get another announcement, that our plane will be diverted to a fuel dumping zone before we are able to land. Oh my god! I have never seen anything like it. When we were in the dumping zone over the mountains, there was some sort of spout-like thing on each wing that was opened and jet fuel just came streaming out. my seat was just behind the wing, so I got a really good view of all the exciting action. Well, exciting for about the first ten minutes of the 2+ hour dump time. We circled and circled the dumping area, getting rid of the fuel for the 12 hour flight. Then we head back to Beijing and circle around some more so they could clear a time for us to land. But we were served our meals, so I got to nosh on my specially prepared vegetarian meal while cruising over the mountains at sunset, dumping jet fuel. Awesome.

We land and then we wait.

and wait.

and wait.

and wait.

and wait, but this time without any air circulation.

As we wait, a team of mechanics rush out to the broken engine and immediately start to pull it apart. It just happen to be the engine right in front of me. Stinkin' defective engine.

Eventually, some people come around to get our information and give us vouchers for transportation, hotel and food. Then we get to exit the plane, but no slide :( and on to the super sexy transport buses back to the airport. Then, more waiting.

We officially have to reenter the country, so we get to go through immigration again, but this time in reverse. They had one desk open for us in the immigration area and got to get a special little light blue "Cancelled" stamp on the still fresh departure stamp.

Then, once again more waiting.

Now is the time we get on the buses to the hotel. All in all they did a great job with all of the last minute arrangements they had to make. I finally got all checked in my new room at 11 PM. I texted some kids I had promised to write to as soon as I got home and then was flooded once again with "what happened" messages. One of the good things to come out from the delay was that I was able to find the tastiest fried noodles I had ever eaten!

So, after some phone calls and such I went to bed and prepared for the same adventure the next day.

Leaving on a Jet Plane

All my bags are packed
I'm ready to go
I'm standin' here outside your door
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye
But the dawn is breakin'
It's early morn
The taxis waitin'
He's blowin' his horn
Already I'm so lonesome
I could die

...ahhh, John Denver. Nothing like a good John Denver song. I can't even begin to tell you how much classroom cred has been gained by belting out Country Roads in my classrooms!

So, I am leaving today!

I can't believe that it is finally time to go. Not exactly like, FINALLY! or even finally more like finally? As much as I have bitched and moaned about my time here (which all of you have been able to read about), it has also been filled with wonderful experiences (of which, I have managed to post a few). I can't believe that it is already time to go home. It is sad. I have been running through a bunch of emotions over the past weeks - everything from "Holy shit! I'm going home! Whoo-hoo!" to "Holy shit! I'm going home?" (proceeds to chew finger nails down to the knuckle).

Sad. Yeah sad. Go figure.

I didn't really expect to feel so sad. I mean, yeah, oh course it is sad to leave something that was my life for the past two years, but I just wasn't expecting to feel like part of me was really connected to all of the craziness that was my China. It is a little sad that this particular adventure is coming to an end. I will really miss my students, or at least the vast majority of them. They were truly the highlight of my time over here and made the experience so worth it to me. I have been able to meet so many wonderful, dynamic people over here, I am so lucky.

Excited.

Of course! I have been away from home for the past two years. And as much as I would have liked US life to cease to a halt while I was away, it hasn't. My friends, family and friends of the family have had marriages, kids, birthdays and other life things that I wasn't around for and wasn't able to be a part of. Oh, and to finally see my two little awesome chinchillas! It will be nice to be able to see everyone again and escape with my best girlfriends for a little long overdue fun!

Nervous and Scared.

I should add, "as hell" to the end of that. Starting over is always scary change is also a little scary. We will be coming back home basically destitute. No money, jobs or home. Geez, I'm feeling like a Bob Dylan song. What will happen next? It's a mystery. I know that this is also an exciting time too, but also scary. If anyone of you readers has an awesome job for me, I'm all ears :)

There is so much more that I just don't know how to express. And not all of that is due to the gradual vocab dumbening due to teaching oral English for the past 2 years. Going back to real English will be a little challenging as Chinglish has infiltrated my day to day vocabulary.

I have so many questions about what will come.

I am really glad that I did this. I will never regret giving up the time to go out and have this type of experience. And if I had the choice to do it all over again, I definitely would in a heart beat.

So...

I'm sure I will have more reflective time once I get back home. And I will post all of my moments both stupid and pretentious. But I have some students coming over to help me get to the airport on time with all of my stuff. Hey, I have been here for two years, I have a lot of stuff.

Wish me luck!

But, I'm leavin' on a jet plane
Don't know when I'll be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go

Go Go Guyuan!

Going back to Guyuan to visit the kiddies! I can't wait! SOOOOOO excited to see them!

Oh yeah, we'll also see Allister too. :)

So Thursday after my classes we are going to head out and then I get to see my kids! I'm so excited! Hopefully everything will go okay - we'll be getting in around 4:30 in the afternoon and need to try to catch the last bus out to Guyuan. If things all go okay, we should be getting in sometime around 9 or 10 at night.

Can't wait! Can't wait! Can't wait!

All Atwitter

Arriving and getting to Guyuan went without a hitch, thanks to an old woman at the bus station in Yinchuan. We arrived at the airport and got to the bus station with plenty of time to spare. We went to the ticket counter to get the next bus out and they said that there were no more tickets until tomorrow morning.

While we were discussing what to do an older woman started to listen in on our conversation and mentioned that we try the train. She motioned for us to follow her and she zipped around to another counter and checked on train tickets for us only to find that those were also sold out. Then, she whisked us out to the bus lot and wove in and out of the parked and moving buses trying to find us one going to Guyuan. One time she pushed us onto a bus headed for the wrong place, but we were eventually able to find a bus thanks to her. So, the next 5 hours we spent in the back of a bus speeding down the interstate to our former China home.

One of the things that still amazes me is some of the places people get off at. It will be pitch black out and not a light or anything for miles around, but people will recognize this patch of dirt as the one they need to get dropped off. So the bus just pulls over and they hop out alongside the road in the middle of nowhere.

Anyhow, we rolled into town at around 10 pm. Right around the time some of the senior students were getting out of their night tests. As we walked to our hotel we saw some familiar faces - one of my students looked at me in that, "...where do I know you from...OH MY GOD!" kind of way. They didn't really know that we were coming. Even the drink guy remembered us - he was our first stop on the way to the hotel.

I was so excited I just could not sleep! I woke up at 1, 3, 5, 6 and then just got up to get ready for school.

Nobody know when I would be coming, and the students didn't know that I would be coming at all, so I went up to see the teachers first as the first period of class had already begun. When I got to the office they all screamed and clapped and ran over to greet me. We had fun catching up, talking about what we had been doing over the past year. They have been keeping up with all my adventures through Ms. Cui.

After the first period of class was over I ran out into the hall to see some of the kids. They were soooo excited once they realized that it was me. They would all scream and clap when I walked into their classroom! I was spotted in one of the halls and was rushed by about 300 students all trying to get hugs. It was great!

For a couple of the classes (before word spread that I was in town), I walked in instead of their regular English teacher. They were so shocked when they saw me and then when I greeted them like I used to in class they all stood up, "ooooo-ed", started clapping and some cried. It was fun!

Some of my students were in the middle of their testing period, so I couldn't get to them right away. But when they had their first break I ran downstairs and stuck my head into their classroom - the facial reaction was priceless! It went from "why is that face familiar" to tackling me to the floor with affection in about 5 seconds.

I got to see all of my little (but not so little any more) friends. It is amazing how different some of the looked. They all grew up and grew out their hair. So I spent my time running into the hallways during the breaks in between classes, dodging Mr. Horse in the hallways and chatting with the teachers when the kids were back in class.

It was fun! But of course, this is Guyuan, so I was invited to a dinner. I said that I couldn't make a dinner, so then it was a lunch. Ugh. With the administration. Double ugh. Luckily, it wound up just being with the Junior School admin, so it was a little more relaxed. Also because it was Guyuan, I wasn't really asked if I was available for lunch, they told me that I had a lunch with the admin at noon. That was fine and all, and told them so, but I would just be a little late because I already had made a date with my posse. Yup, my little boy posse. We were going to walk home together one last time.

The teachers didn't understand that this was important to me and to them. I told them I could go to lunch, but I would be late because I wanted to walk home with the kids. They told me that they would understand that I had other things that I had to do. So, I told them that I WANTED to walk home with them because it is important to me - it was a special tradition we had. I mean, I would walk to school when I didn't even have class, just to walk right back home with my posse, sometimes twice a day! So they told me they would send a teacher down to tell them that I had an important lunch to go to and I wouldn't be able to meet them. I struggled to get them to understand what I wanted. Finally, I just told them that I would meet them at the restaurant at 12:30 and I would pick up Matt and Allister. Then the bell rang and I left and hurried a reluctant "okay" from them.

I went to classroom 6 like so many other times and was greeted with lots of hugs as we started on our last walk. Eventually more of my students joined in and by the time we were at the corner the ranks of the posse had grown to over 50 kids! It was fun, Sam danced like usual (but limped a little as he had hurt his leg) and then announced, "this is for teacher" before pulling down Larry's pants, giggling and running off. Sniff, sniff, just like the good ol' days. I got to eat a lot of ice cream and other roadside snacks (I was already full by the time I got to the restaurant) as treats were shoved in my face - "Teacher eat this! Teacher eat this! This is definitely one of the activities I will always remember and will always be time well spent to me.

Lunch was pretty painless. The Junior School functions were usually a little more laid back than that of the Senior School. Only really one round of dice and not a lot of drinking as it was a lunch. So, we were able to get out of there in a decent amount of time and I was able to get back to school.

I spent the rest of the day just chatting and catching up, giving and getting hugs. It was a great day! The only thing that I just couldn't figure out was why in the world was one of the teachers trying to hold me back from seeing the kids by insisting that I look at all of the pictures she had taken on the computer right then when the students were on their breaks. This same teacher also wanted me to just spend time with her classes - classes that I barely saw over the course of the year I was there. I would try to get away and excuse myself gracefully when she would force me into a strage sort of uncomfortable guilt situation. I mean, I was happy to see her students, but I had limited time and I really wanted to see the classes that I was the closest to. The teachers this time around were really heaping on the guilt. They wanted me to teach their classes, both with my former students and students that I didn't know. They also wanted me to tutor someone's daughter and teach at a primary school. So between the guilt and them calling me fat, I decided to stay with the guilt free love of the students.

ANYHOW...

Over the seventh period I went down to one of my favorite two classes and talked and played with them as they had to stay indoors because of the testing. But my chatting time was cut short by the demand to take some pictures - "we all have been waiting for you upstairs to take pictures". Ugh. I said that I would be up in a moment. I said my goodbyes, and finished up my plans for the next day. They also invited me to watch their soccer game during their PE class. Pictures shouldn't take too long, so done and done.

WRONG!!! They hurried me up into the office only to wait for about 20 minutes before they started with the pictures. They took over 50. All basically the same. All I could think about was joing my kids on the soccer field. And I missed it. The price of the last 10 pictures of the same pose was that I couldn't kick it with my kids on the field one last time. I hope it was worth it to them because it certainly wasn't to me.

After the last bell rang I booked it over to the senior school, hoping that I would be able to meet up with some of my students as they got out from their tests. I hear a "Moll-yyyyyyyy" and saw several of my students run up to me. It was so good to see them! We were able to talk and arrange a time the next day, after their tests, to see each other again.

We wrapped up the night with a nice dinner at Mom and Pop's who remembered our usual and laughed as we rattled it off.

I was exhausted when I got back to the room.

It was a good day.

Kisses in the wind

Saturday was much of the same. So, fun. Lots of kid fun. It was only a half day of school, I was able to set up some more times with the students who were testing and talk to some of the other classes I wasn't able to see as much the day before.

I set up a lunch with some of my kids, which I will talk about in a separate post.

I had to leave my lunch a little earlier than I would have liked because I was supposed to have a walk with Matt, Allister and the admin from the senior school. It was just a ploy for a dinner and I could smell it. So, I got to the school a little late (after a really painful goodbye) and made it to the office, in the rain just in time for the start of the banquet talk and verbal dance. Finally it ended with an early dinner so we wouldn't miss our students, I said that I would try to make it if I could but I had so many student meetings set up that I couldn't promise that I would make it, and to honest, I had no intention of trying to.

I was able to see my former Junior 3 students, now Senior students. They were a little different, attitude wise, but that mid-teen 'tude quickly melted away and we were back to the joking banter like before.

I was also able to see my former junior 2 students when they had a break between their test and class. They were as sweet as ever. As soon as the test let out they poured into the hallways and wrapped a silk scarf around my neck. I got to see my soccer player and the student who gave me his necklace from last year. It was so good to see all of them, they are such a good spirited group, I feel so lucky that I was able to get to know them in the year that I was there. Our time together this time was just too short. But at least I was able to have one last moment with them as well.

Last was my senior classes. I had made an arrangement with their class monitor to have everyone who wanted to see me wait after their test and I would pop in and see them. I walked in the room to see almost ALL of my students. I was so happy to see them! We were able to blow the rest of my poloroid film and just had a good time together. They hadn't really been able to practice their spoken English, so they had lost some of their speaking ability, but that didn't stop them from trying to tell me all about what has been happening in their lives in the past year. We spent over an hour catching up and laughing with and at each other. It was great!

Near the end we all decided to walk home together. As we split off, we said our goodbyes, some of them tearful all of them sad. When I got to Hong Bao (our hotel) I said goodbye to the last of the group, one of the most difficult goodbyes was with the student who sang me a special song on our last day together last year. He just threw his arms around me and planted a kiss on my cheek and said...well, that's all I wish to share. I couldn't hold back anymore. I cried. They were all holding it back, but I could see the emotion bubbling up in their eyes as well. I crossed the street as they all waved and we exchanged kisses in the wind.

Goodbye.

Later on Saturday night we (Matt, Allister and I) got a nice visit from two of my students. We had a great time talking with them! I was really impressed with Wang Hao's English - he was able to keep up a native pace and joke around with us. He is such a funny guy. I am so lucky to have him as a student and even luckier still to have gotten to know him.

It was getting late when my students left, so we decided to pack it in for the night as we were going to have a busy morning the next day. At 8 AM we met one of my students who had something arranged for us to see. Um...let's just say it didn't quite work out and she was really quite upset about it afterward. Really, really upset.

It was still raining and the ice cream place was closed when we got there. So as my students started to arrive we all huddled and talked together under some nearby tents. One of my students had told us that it was his birthday on Tuesday and he really wanted to celebrate it with us so he brought a cake. My kids brought me little embroidered tokens to remember them by. But what they don't know is that there is nothing that they could give me that is as special as the time and love that they gave me every day for a year and every minute of my visit. I don't think that I could ever forget them.

Eventually the shop opened its shutters and we were able to pile in. Not a huge group but a nice sized group of people that I love. We sang happy birthday and watched the candles blow themselves out all at once (it was really quite strange). He made a wish which he only told me. Then I just loved to see all of my students interacting with each other - from my juniors to my seniors. It was so sweet how the older kids talked and helped out some of the younger ones.

The monitor for one of my Senior classes gave me a special photo album with images of the sites of Ningxia around the borders of the pages. We went through the sites together and had our last history talk. Before, we would get together and just talk for long periods of time about politics and history. Another one of the Guyuan times I just can't forget.

As it was time to leave, we left all of the younger students at the parlor to finish up their ice cream and the Seniors all walked us out to the bus station. I said goodbye, got their last hugs, kisses and tears from my dear children. Then I had to say goodbye to my little Ma Li. I have written about him before. He and his friends came to visit me in the apartment last year. We wound up posing for some silly pictures together. There is one picture of us together which he showed his teacher and exclaimed, "I can't hardly believe how happy my face is!" He showed me the picture that we took on that day and told me that he always keeps it with him. He told me that he looks at it whenever he feels sad or stressed out or just when he wants to remember a really happy day and he instantly feels better. I just didn't want to let him go. I want to take him home with me. Ma Li was trying so hard not to cry, but we both just could not hold on any longer and we said our very tearful "I love yous" and "goodbyes".

We got to the bus station with a little time to spare. My Seniors helped us get onto the correct bus (I'm glad they checked and put us on the correct bus). We all knew our time was just about over but didn't want to admit it. The student who had his birthday, said that he would remember this birthday forever because it was both one of his happiest and saddest birthdays at the same time. We said our watery eyed goodbyes and I got my last Guyuan hugs and kisses. A couple of students ran onto the bus for just one last moment.

As we pulled away from the station, they huddled together, consoled one of the students, waved and blew kisses until I couldn't see them anymore.

Me?

I left a big piece of my heart in Guyuan.

Emotional Hotpot

I'm saving this post for last because it is the most difficult for me to write. I don't think I will be able to get through this without tearing up at least a dozen times, one time because of anger, a couple of times from laughter, some from sadness, and most from love.

On Saturday noon I arranged to have a "no teacher" lunch with my kids. We decided to have hot pot because then I could get some of my favorite potato noodles - they think that it is hilarious that my favorite food here is potato noodles.

The previous day on our walk home together, they started to talk about the possibility of having lunch. As the English teachers walked by, they urged me to hurry up and get to the lunch. After they passed, the boys whispered to me in a low voice that this would be a "no teacher" lunch. So then they asked me if they could call something other than teacher. I told them they could call me what ever they would like as long as it was nice, so it was decided that I would be their "Beautiful Sister of the West". After my new title had been established, we set up our plan for Saturday.

I met them after their class let out. They all wanted to go home and change their clothes and we would meet on the corner in half an hour. In the meantime, Sam asked me if I would go with him to visit his home. I told him I would be happy to see his home and a very proud Sam strutted off with me down the street. I have written about Sam before and he is just a sweet, hyper kid who likes to sing and dance and pull down Larry's pants. He's a little taller now and his voice has dropped, but he is still basically the same sweetly naughty child that I got to know and love.

So, I met Sam's parents and let's just say that by meeting them, it explains a lot. It was absolutely one of the most bizarre and hilarious parent meetings that I have encountered. We walked into the apartment, and they weren't expecting me. Sam told them who I was and then they got really excited, like puppy excited. Sam's dad started to talk to me at about a million words per minute and kept on shaking my hand. Sam was trying to get him to stop and calm down. Eventually he pulled his dad into the bedroom and closed the door. Meanwhile, his mom was heaping food into my hands, which Sam promptly took out and returned it to the kitchen. When he returned his dad was back out talking and Sam pulled him back into the bedroom and closed the door which was just long enough for him mom to put more food in my hands which Sam returned to the kitchen. This cycle happened about 5 times before Sam announced that we had to go and basically fled his apartment, trying to shut the door on his parents. Ah, Sam. Always making me smile.

We met the kids at the corner and set off for the restaurant. We took about the longest route possible to make the walk last just a little longer. They shared some music with me and we just chatted away like we do. It didn't seem like any time had passed since our last lunch. They asked me what I wanted to drink - they were saying liquor in Chinese, and I shocked them all when I knew what they were talking about and answered them in Chinese.

The food came, as did some rain, but something felt a little off with the lunchtime conversations. They started to ask me if I liked their English teacher. So I went fishing to see what was up. The English teachers were a little mad? jealous? that the students were having this lunch with me because they would only get one lunch with me because of the short time. I learned that their English teacher had pulled one of my posse boys to the front of the room and laid into him. She told him that his English was too poor for him to go out to lunch with me and that he was just wasting my time when I could be doing more important things. She told him that he had no business wanting to use up all my time because he can barely speak to me. Way to encourage a kid, right?

After I learned about that maddening news, I told them that it's nice to be able to see the teachers, it's nice to see the city again, but really the only reason why I came back to Guyuan was to see them. That they were the single, most important reason for my visit. The only reason why the teachers get to see me is because of the students. This boy was one of my best students, not because he had the best English, but he tried in my class. He volunteered to speak at every opportunity, had a great sense of humor and was really a positive asset to my class. I had to let him know that there was nothing he could do that would be a waste of my time. I valued him and all of the time we have spent together. And no matter what some one else told him, he was special to me and she can't take that away. Then he just hugged me and said "I love you always".

Nobody can tell my boys that they aren't worth my time.

So lunch went on and I was sitting next to two of my most special students, Alex and Bob - one of the original posse members. Alex was one of my Junior 2 students last year and one of the students I was closest to, but he was having some problems, so he was held back a year. At the lunch I noticed that he had quite a stutter, not just in English but in Chinese as well. I also noticed that he was really dominantly left handed. We talked about how his teachers would hit his left hand so hard that he would have to use his right hand for writing. He's had a really hard time in the Chinese educational system. Matt was his brother's teacher and he was perhaps one of the nicest students at the school. If either of them found themselves in the US we would put them up without hesitation.

Alex never really liked English, but at the end of the year he was trying harder so he could speak to me. I gave him my leather cuff and wrote a little message just for him. His brother told me that he wears it all of the time and it is really important to him. He also told me that Alex thought that I was the only teacher who actually gave him a chance and didn't just brush him off as hopeless. Throughout the lunch Alex spoke with me in English. Rather than have someone translate for him, he would ask his friends how to say something to me in English, practice it and then ask me. I was so proud of him.

We took some pictures.

The first to go was Sam - he had to take a test. As Sam was leaving, he started to get a little emotional, so he quickly said goodbye and ran out the door. I ran after him, caught him and gave him a huge hug while we both shared some tears. He whispered in my ear, "I love you, teacher. I don't want you to go." I just hugged him and told him that I would never forget him and I will love him forever. After a little bit we said goodbye.

It was the first of the "I'll probably never see you again" realizations that hit home.

I came back to the room visibly upset, I just couldn't totally regain my composure. The boys were upset that I was upset. They told me that they were all really, really sad, but they couldn't cry because they had to try to be men. It was then that Bob just couldn't look me in the face any more. He told me that he kept the picture of just us in his room where he could always see it...then he choked up and had to stop. He would try to say something, but then just trail off and have to look out the window to just hang on. Alex and another couldn't let go of my hands. We all knew that the inevitable was coming but just couldn't let it happen yet, just have to hold on for a little longer.

To distract us for a little they decided to take a group picture for me to always have. I glanced at it briefly, but had to put it away before it completely developed because I would definitely lose all composure. I still can't look at it.

So at the end of the lunch we walked down the stairs, we still couldn't let go of each other's hands, they walked me out to a cab and we said our goodbyes. I gave them all hugs, each one more hard to let go of. I got into the cab and rolled down the window - they crowded around and grabbed what they could of me - they were blowing kisses and trying to kiss my hands while telling me that they loved me, will miss me and that they didn't want me to leave. Alex grabbed my hands and there was this indescribable change in his face - realization that he would probably never see me again and intense panic and sorrow. I just lost it. He did to. (I'm losing it right now, just thinking about it). I reached out and kissed him on the cheek and just whispered that I would always have a special place in my heart for him and that I would always care and love him.

The cab pulled away while they were still holding on to me. They didn't let go until they had to. As we got down the street, I turned to look back at them and saw something that just got me completely undone, I couldn't bear to look anymore. I saw all of them standing on the side of the street, staring at their feet completely silent and motionless.

Next Generation Facing Fatal Pressures

Unfortunately, USTB is a part of the statistic for this year. A student jumped off of a building a couple of months ago because of a broken heart.
*********************************************
At noon, on May 16, a young woman committed suicide by jumping off the 11th floor of the building. So far, university authorities have not revealed her identity. Local media believe she was a doctorate student from the literature school preparing her graduation thesis. While some doctorate students have shown sympathy, the response of many students has been stony silence. The apparent numbness could be a result of a spate of college student suicides, which have occured this month.

One day before the tragedy at Renmin University, a female postgraduate student of Beijing Normal University leapt to her death because of depression and academic pressure. On May 14, a junior student in Tsinghua University and a sophomore of China Agriculture University took their lives on their campuses, with the suicide reasons still under investigation. More than 10 college students this month have leapt to their deaths. Hu Deng, director of the Psychological Counselling Center of Renmin University of China, admits he is nervous these days because May seems to be a dark month for suicide-seekers on the campus. Between March and May, college students come under the biggest pressure because they must hunt for jobs, wait for the results of the entrance examination to postgraduate or doctorate schools. And they also must prepare their thesis.

Lacking the ability to cope with this adverse situation is a common problem and the examination-oriented education system has largely neglected students mental health, he says. Hu and his colleagues have probed into several suicide cases in recent years. They found that a big proportion of the students had a medical history of psychological problems, such as depression. "Rather than seeking help from us, the students with psychological problems tend to hide it for fear of affecting the future of their studies and employment," he said.

On the Internet, many people expressed deep sorrow about the tragedy. A student named Xiao Wei writes in a blog, "Another doctorate sister has quietly left us. Her dormitory building is next to mine. I do not know whether it was a coincidence but on the same day last year, a doctorate sister from the journalism school chose the same way to finish her life. I had met her in a class one day before her suicide. I feel regret for her." Xiao Wei respects those who committed suicide, and says one would never understand the pains of others. In fact, Xiao Wei had thought of committing suicide, but the love for family pushed the desperate idea away.

Zhao Jie, a first-grade doctorate student from the same literature school, has paid more attention to the death than most of his schoolmates. Like others, Zhao chose to pursue a doctorate degree in the hope of changing his previous career as a college staffer. However, he has learnt that a doctorate degree without much experience would not secure him a promising job. "The gap between high expectations and cruel reality would keep imposing an invisible pressure and anxiety throughout the three-year study," he said.

Economic strain is another factor contributing to anxiety. Besides expenses on food and accommodation, Zhao needs to pay 12,000 yuan ($1,560) of tuition fee each year. Like Zhao, most doctorate students depend on family support, their own savings and income from part-time jobs to pull them through the three years.

Zhao describes the everyday life of a doctorate student as "dry and dull". He has to bury himself in books all day to complete the required number of thesises published in national-level academic journals. Communication between students even in the same class is scarce, he says. Zhang Yanping is deputy director of Beijing Suicide Prevention and Research Center, which is affiliated to Beijing Huilongguan Hospital. Zhang is unsure if the spate of student suicides in May reflects a pattern or is just coincidental. But she notes that one suicide could possibly influence another. She classifies recent suicidal students into two groups. The first group, which represents about 63 percent of suicide cases, has psychological disorders, such as depression. For people with a history of mental illness, she suggests psychological counselling and the necessary drug treatment. The second group feels hopeless and is isolated at the time of suicide because of excessive emotional stress caused by employment expectations, examinations and their looming thesis.

For this group of students, suicide intervention is even more difficult, Zhang said. Zhang's center conducted research among people who attempted suicide. Researchers asked the students about the time intervals between suicidal ideas and action taken. About 37 percent said they acted on their negative thoughts less than five minutes after they occured and 60 percent of the group was less than two hours. "Suicide is one of the most extreme ways for people to solve their problems. In fact, they have many other options and could have talked to people close to them, such as friends, family, and classmates," said Zhang. Staff operating a free hotline service, opened by Zhang's center, reveal the common problems college students encounter. The major issues include depression, academic pressure, romantic rejection, family conflicts, economical difficulties and frustration because of the gap between the job market and high expectations. As a professional psychologist, Zhang has observed in recent years that college authorities have been paying more attention to the mental health of students. Some teachers are obtaining counselling certificates and professional counselling services are also being introduced on university campuses.

Since 2000, Beijing Normal University has initiated the Capital College Students' Psychological Health Festival on May 25 every year. Famous psychologists were invited to give lectures on the subject last Friday in Beijing when universities across the country took part in the festival. However, experts point out the media has conveyed misleading information that the campus suicide rate was significantly high. Zhang estimates the suicide rate among college students is only six people per 100,000, which is much lower than 23 per 100,000 among the whole population and more than 30 per 100,000 among people between the ages of 15 and 34. However, Zhang believes that improving the mental health among students is a life-long project. "The starting point of cultivating mental health is definitely not the college campus, but from early childhood," she said.

About Your Pearly Whites...

The strike is still on, but I just thought I would forward this on to all of you!

************

On June 1, 2007, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) issued the following warning regarding toothpaste from China.  The warning, which is repeated in its entirety below, can also be found at http://www.fda.gov/bbs/topics/NEWS/2007/NEW01646.html

FDA Advises Consumers to Avoid Toothpaste From China Containing Harmful Chemical
FDA Detains One Contaminated Shipment, Issues Import Alert
The U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) today warned consumers to avoid using tubes of toothpaste labeled as made in China, and issued an import alert to prevent toothpaste containing the poisonous chemical diethylene glycol (DEG) from entering the United States.

DEG is used in antifreeze and as a solvent.
Consumers should examine toothpaste products for labeling that says the product is made in China. Out of an abundance of caution, FDA suggests that consumers throw away toothpaste with that labeling. FDA is concerned that these products may contain "diethylene glycol," also known as "diglycol" or "diglycol stearate."

FDA is not aware of any U.S. reports of poisonings from toothpaste containing DEG. However, the agency is concerned about potential risks from chronic exposure to DEG and exposure to DEG in certain populations, such as children and individuals with kidney or liver disease. DEG in toothpaste has a low but meaningful risk of toxicity and injury to these populations. Toothpaste is not intended to be swallowed, but FDA is concerned about unintentional swallowing or ingestion of toothpaste containing DEG.

FDA has identified the following brands of toothpaste from China that contain DEG and are included in the import alert: Cooldent Fluoride; Cooldent Spearmint; Cooldent ICE; Dr. Cool, Everfresh Toothpaste; Superdent Toothpaste; Clean Rite Toothpaste; Oralmax Extreme; Oral Bright Fresh Spearmint Flavor; Bright Max Peppermint Flavor; ShiR Fresh Mint Fluoride Paste; DentaPro; DentaKleen; and DentaKleen Junior. Manufacturers of these products are: Goldcredit International Enterprises Limited; Goldcredit International Trading Company Limited; and Suzhou City Jinmao Daily Chemicals Company Limited. The products typically are sold at low-cost, "bargain" retail outlets.

Based on reports of contaminated toothpaste from China found in several countries, including Panama, FDA increased its scrutiny and began sampling toothpaste and other dental products manufactured in China that were imported into the United States.

FDA inspectors identified and detained one shipment of toothpaste at the U.S. border, containing about 3 percent DEG by weight. In addition, FDA inspectors found and tested toothpaste products from China located at a distribution center and a retail store. The highest level found was between 3-4 percent by weight. The product at the retail store was not labeled as containing DEG but was found to contain the substance.

DEG poisoning is an important public safety issue. The agency is aware of reports of patient deaths and injuries in other countries over the past several years from ingesting DEG-contaminated pharmaceutical preparations, such as cough syrups and acetaminophen syrup. FDA recently issued a guidance document to urge U.S. pharmaceutical manufacturers to be vigilant in assuring that glycerin, a sweetener commonly used worldwide in liquid over-the-counter and prescription drug products, is not contaminated with DEG.

FDA continues to investigate this problem. If FDA identifies other brands of toothpaste products containing DEG, FDA will take appropriate actions, including adding products and their manufacturers to the import alert to prevent them from entering the United States.

Consumers can report adverse reactions or quality problems experienced with the use of these products to FDA's MedWatch Adverse Event Reporting program: www.fda.gov/medwatch/report.htm

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On Strike!

Okay everybody, I know that lately I have not been adding to my blog, but I am having China problems again, so I cannot really access it right now. 

But I will not post until I get some email from all of you.

Hop to!

STRIKE! STRIKE! STRIKE! STRIKE! STRIKE! STRIKE! STRIKE! STRIKE! STRIKE! STRIKE! STRIKE! STRIKE! STRIKE! STRIKE! STRIKE! STRIKE!

Golden Throat Lozenge

Action and uses:

Coursing wind and clearing heat, resolving toxin and disinhibiting throat, transforming turbity with aroma. Cure for swollen throat, dry and sore throat, hoarse voice caused by acute laryngopharynglitis.

Specification:
Weight 2g/tablet
Approval Doc No.
Guoyaozhunzi B20020993
Lot No. of product:
See sealing place or the cover of small box

Please take the medicine according to the description.

Um. According to the description, huh? So um, where do I put the coursing wind?

Just for giggles...

I recorded this today:

Henry works in a children's hospital. If doctors need to know how heavy the children are before they are looked over, he will help the children to take off their clothes.

One day a five year old boy came in with his mother. He was so nervous that he caught his mother's hand. Henry tried his best to take the boy away from his mother to the Doctor's office, but he failed. However, with the help of his mother, the boy agreed to go with Henry. Henry was very happy. He thought everything was okay. "Now boy, let's take off out clothes and see how heavy we are." said Henry. But the boy dropped Henry's hand at once and said, "you go. I don't want to."

***UHHHH***

What made this even funnier was that the guy I was recording with today was named Henry.

Do call me Shirley

Thanks for being so patient with this post. I don't know what happened there.

But one moment please for an important China announcement!

[dramatic pause]

Starting on June 20th I will be on the radio! Well, at least my recordings will be. Currently I am recording some pieces for a learning English by radio program that they will be playing for the year leading up to the Olympic Games.

I am one of the main characters, Shirley and the daughter's blue-blooded best friend, Gucci. Yup. Gucci.

I will try to record some of the dialogues while I am still here, and will post up some more details when I know them!

More Blog Problems

Hello all!  We are back in China for and preparing for the last part of our teaching here in China.  I will be posting up some blog updates about Korea, but I can't seem to get access to my blog site at the moment, so I am posting by email.  I will be working on some posts and will get them up as soon as possible.  Also, I have officially finished putting up the last of the pictures from our SE Asian tour last winter!  I am currently loading the pictures from our Korea trip.  So, as you wait for the entries, enjoy a few more hundred photos!

elong ROCKS!!!

Goodbye craptastic Travel Agencies and the uber-unhelpful CITS office! I love elong! For those of you who need to make arrangements for travel in China, use it and experience the joy of competency and convenience.

I booked my tickets online through elong and I couldn't be happier with their service. Within seconds of me clicking the purchase button I got a confirmation on both my email and mobile phone. Then shortly after a customer service rep called me up and spoke perfect English to help me with my reservation because the dates I booked were no longer available.

We worked it out and then the next day the dropped the tickets off at my door (free of charge) and collected the cash for the sale. How smooth!

But that isn't even the good part...

We went to check in at the airport, blah, blah, blah. While processing our information the airline guy informs us that we actually have business class tickets! Whoohoo! So, for less money than the travel agencies, we were able to get business class tickets on one leg of the trip. Awesome. I pigged out in the lounge - filo pastry with seasoned mushrooms, really good dumplings, spanakopita... Mmmmm...

On the plane the seats were just a little more comfortable and we were served more food. Actually, I felt a little over served - the peanuts were served on china with a folded napkin.

At least we rolled into Seoul in style!

Return to the Motherland

Ahnyeonghaseyo! (sorry, I can't get the characters to show up so you get phonetics)

Matt and I are stealing away for another short vacation in Korea! Yeah, thought a trip to my good ol' motherland was in order with us being so close. So, you know what that means...more pictures! Hooray.

I FINALLY got up all (errr most) of the pictures from the last vacation. None have really been captioned yet, but at least there is something to keep you all busy now until the next batch.

So until next time, ahnyeonghi kaseyo!

EXTRA! EXTRA!

I just posted, but it is back dated a little bit, not too much, but a little. Just scroll down to read it.

Also, I FINALLY have posted up some new pictures! So, pee-boy will no longer welcome you to my flickr site! I think my mom will be very happy to know that. Not that she has anything against the pee-boy, I just think she was getting tired of looking at him.

Other than that, not a whole lot of news. Spring is here, so there is a lot of stuff in the air - cotton crap, dirt, etc. The winds have been really strong some days - I got hit by some throat cheese - not mine, mind you. If it were mine, then I really can't complain too much as I was the one who would have been spitting into the wind. But I wasn't, so, I got pretty grossed out by that. Just not something you expect. Walk, walk, walk (wind howling) Splat! UGH!!! EEEEWWWW!!!

Uh, I sang in class and made them "sing with feeling" at 8 in the morning. Imagine 30 kids belting out "darling, darling, stand by me, oh stand by me..." Their reaction? Let's just say that at least it was funny for me. I'm such a colossal dork in class, that it was probably okay for them too. But they decided that they liked the Motown music, so we might try another one some other time.

Our school is going to have a big review this coming month. We just had another preliminary review. Apparently we didn't do so well on the first prelim. One of the math professors didn't finish one of the problems on the blackboard so he got a failing grade for the class. One problem unsolved = failing grade for class. This review will determine the school's rank, so it is important to them. Really, really, really freakin' important. Which means that it is incredibly annoying for everyone else. By annoying, I mean, sucks. I won't get into the detail now, I'll hold that until the actual review.

Now I'm just struggling with the internal rage that results from the vacation schedule - we have a "week" off, but have to make up two of those said vacation days over the weekend either before or after (or in the case of the Oct. holiday, one before and the other after) which often makes vacation less convenient, especially if you want to travel. Especially as they don't tell you the schedule until about 2 weeks or so before the vacation is supposed to start. Okay, so rage is a little dramatic, but there is something bubbling in my chest and it ain't happiness or um, gas. So this time, we get Tuesday, Friday and the following Monday off. We have to make up classes that would have been held on Wednesday and Thursday on this Saturday and Sunday. How sucktastic is that?

Anyhow, it's late and I'm tired. 4 AM.