Staring at...err...Celebrating Diversity

WHEW!

Back in the good ol' US of A, finally!

My Molly Brown crew helped me lug my bags onto my cart and we all headed to immigration. I got a nice, "welcome home!" from the official and got waved through by customs (whew!). Then came the next task - finding and re-checking in for my flight to Minnesota. I had a concern, if I would have to pay the overweight charge again as it was a new airline. I mentioned this to one of my plane friends, and he said to just tell them the story and they would let get away with it.

So, I get to my new airline ticketing line and it is finally my turn. I pull all of my stuff onto the scale only to hear from my fabulously flamy ticketing agent, "Sweetheart, your bag is overweight and I will have to charge you..." I exhaled (I was holding my breath!) and before I took my next breath in I heard from the line, "She was a volunteer in China for the past 2 years! Let her through!" and "She hasn't been home for 2 years and was on that delayed flight out of Beijing - let her through!" The agent just smiled and passed my bags on through. Before he gave me my ticket, he grabbed my hands and said, "You're almost home honey! Just a little longer, hang in there!" then took my hand and walked me out to the door leading to security and the concourses. Thank you crew and ticketing agent!

My initial impressions upon coming back were how big the people were. I had become used to being "the big one" but now I look absolutely tiny in comparison! Also, I admit, I was staring at the black people. Not just glancing, but full on staring. I would catch myself time and time again, but I just couldn't stop. Jesus. I can't go out in public until I can learn to stop it. I mean, I can at least squint and pretend that the Mexicans are Chinese. But black people, wow! Fascinating.

Security check. My first in-country flight and I get randomly selected to go through the special security screening. The man scribbled yellow highlighter all over my boarding pass and wouldn't give it back to me until I was finished with the screening. Ugh. The person conducting my special screening was a big black dude named Tyrone. When I gave him my ticket he gasps and bellowed out, "What did you do?!?!?" then burst out laughing. We had a little time to kill between me and the person in the security quarantine area so he filled me in on all of the airport security stuff since I had left the US - I got another refresher on the new carry-on liquids allowance. Finally my turn - shoes off, computer out, jacket off, arms spread, blah, blah, blah. I got the wand treatment from the female screener on duty and then had to open my stuff for swabbing. Finally I got my now bright yellow ticket back and was waved to an area to put all my stuff back together.

I had forgotten that O'Hare is actually just a huge shopping mall with airplanes. So I looked around, got a doughnut and bagel (extra cream cheese from the bagel guy because he was nice). I also had completely forgotten about sales tax, so both times I had my money all ready to pay and, whoops, surprise! Tax. I bet people thought that I was a foreigner, looking all around, staring at black people, speaking English a little too slowly for a native speaker, smiling at everyone, y'know.

Anyhow, I made way to my gate and had the misfortune of over hearing a conversation about why Snakes on a Plane was not a realistic situation. It was then that I had my first "it really sucks to be able to understand everything" moment.

Finally it was time for my final leg of my journey home. My last flight - a mere hour until I would be back home. One more hour after the 45 some odd hours it took me to get back to the US.

Home.

I got into the Minneapolis airport at night and walked down the concourse toward baggage claim - I saw an i-pod vending machine! And when I got to the baggage carousel, there were my parents to welcome me back home, complete with cheddar cheese goldfish crackers and Diet Dr. Pepper. Ahhhh...so good to finally be home!