To the tune of "Silver Bells":
Spit stained sidewalks, frozen pee spot
garbage strewn here and there.
Those are the sights of my city.
Constant honking, non-stop hawking
people pushing past me
and on every street corner we hear,
White man there, stop and stare
Point as he walks on right by you.
Stand and gawk, point and talk,
and laugh as he passes you by!
Come to dinner
must come to dinner
'Cause it has been arranged
I did not bother to ask you before now
Hear the phone ring
what a bad thing
and we cringe at the sound
We unplug and pretend to be gone
Bu Zhongguo ren, ta shi Hanguo ren (not Chinese, she is Korean)
is what I hear when I go by
She should know, how to shuo (speak)
'cause she looks like Chinese.
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
Monday, December 26, 2005
Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice...
...that's what little BOYS are made of? Just kidding. Sort of. I just had my first experience with a "teacher crush" outing. But, more on that later.
I know that my posts have not been the most upbeat lately. The frustrating stuff usually inspires me to write more than the other. Also, right now we seem to have an over abundance of the blood boiling sort of material.
I just wanted to write about some of my students. I really love them. Honestly, I work with some really sweet kids. Over the holidays, they have been really sweet with holiday wishes and little gifts that magically appear on my desk or on the podium before class. I never know who they are from, but my older kids present the gift as a present from the class.
One of my students asked me what kind of present I liked the best. Thinking that they wanted to buy me something, I told him that I liked drawings the best (I don't want them to spend money on me). So, the next time I had class, I walked into the classroom to find the podium piled high with wonderful drawings, paintings, and cuttings that the kids made for me! I love them and they are more valuable to me than anything they could ever buy. I almost cried. Seriously, so sweet. My kids make me smile and laugh on a near daily basis. I am very thankful for that.
I have mentioned this before, but I am really surprised that my little boys are so enthusiastic about English class. I was expecting the girls to be more in to it. Many of the girls are very good and do everything well in class, but if I'm giving points for sheer enthusiasm, the boys definitely win the prize.
In many of my classes ALL of the boys want to speak at every group sharing opportunity. They are always the first to volunteer for anything. If I finish taking volunteers and don't wind up calling on some of the boys, they get very sad and protest with a very heartfelt, "Oh, laoshi! Why no me?" I correct them. Hands go back up with a corrected, "Oh teacher Molly, why not me?"
They are also just hams! They are pretty fearless about making mistakes. Usually when they flub up, they laugh, make me laugh and wind up hugging each other. After class, both the boys and girls all come up to the podium and we try to talk in Chinglish to the best of our abilities. Usually one of the kids will tell me that they like that I smile and laugh in class and that that makes them happy.
In November, one of my Junior 2 classes invited me to go to a soccer game - their class was playing against another class. Members of the soccer team prepared an invitation to present to me in front of the class - I couldn't say no. So everyone cheered.
On the day of the match, the class was waiting for me in the hallway for me to get out of my class and we all walked down to the field together. All 50 of them wanted to hold my hand on the way down, it was kinda of funny. I cheered for both sides, as they were both my classes. They even coordinated cheers in English just for me! At the double whistle blow, the class that I came with won! They were so excited!
Fast forward to last week. I had that class on Wednesday. We were doing a unit on what you wanted to be when you grew up. One of my SFS's said that he wanted to be a soccer player. So, I asked him (at the end of class) if he was on the soccer team. He very proudly said yes. Then I asked if he was #9 (I was very impressed with #9 at the soccer game) because he was about the same size. He beamed while turning a very bright red. As soon as he was a nice shade of scarlet, the taunts of, "Laoshi, he LOVES you!" started to pour out as well as similar sentiments in Chinese. I think that they managed embarrass him quite well. Hopefully, this won't make him shy in class as he is one of my best students.
Anyhow, this is not to say that I don't have some truly outstanding girls. I have a really sweet group of girls who I just want to hug whenever I see them. They give me little "love" notes or folded stars after class and really like to try to speak to me in English. They greet me in Korean (I taught them a little, as that I all I know) and we sometimes hang out together in the garden at their long mid-morning break. They are really interested in learning about me, the US and anything I want to share with them. We have a lot of fun trying to figure out what we are saying to each other. My girl groups are really thoughtful and are very helpful in the classroom when the boys are being naughty - they are the enforcers.
So, I know that this post is a little random. But hey, just recording thoughts as they come to me!
I know that my posts have not been the most upbeat lately. The frustrating stuff usually inspires me to write more than the other. Also, right now we seem to have an over abundance of the blood boiling sort of material.
I just wanted to write about some of my students. I really love them. Honestly, I work with some really sweet kids. Over the holidays, they have been really sweet with holiday wishes and little gifts that magically appear on my desk or on the podium before class. I never know who they are from, but my older kids present the gift as a present from the class.
One of my students asked me what kind of present I liked the best. Thinking that they wanted to buy me something, I told him that I liked drawings the best (I don't want them to spend money on me). So, the next time I had class, I walked into the classroom to find the podium piled high with wonderful drawings, paintings, and cuttings that the kids made for me! I love them and they are more valuable to me than anything they could ever buy. I almost cried. Seriously, so sweet. My kids make me smile and laugh on a near daily basis. I am very thankful for that.
I have mentioned this before, but I am really surprised that my little boys are so enthusiastic about English class. I was expecting the girls to be more in to it. Many of the girls are very good and do everything well in class, but if I'm giving points for sheer enthusiasm, the boys definitely win the prize.
In many of my classes ALL of the boys want to speak at every group sharing opportunity. They are always the first to volunteer for anything. If I finish taking volunteers and don't wind up calling on some of the boys, they get very sad and protest with a very heartfelt, "Oh, laoshi! Why no me?" I correct them. Hands go back up with a corrected, "Oh teacher Molly, why not me?"
They are also just hams! They are pretty fearless about making mistakes. Usually when they flub up, they laugh, make me laugh and wind up hugging each other. After class, both the boys and girls all come up to the podium and we try to talk in Chinglish to the best of our abilities. Usually one of the kids will tell me that they like that I smile and laugh in class and that that makes them happy.
In November, one of my Junior 2 classes invited me to go to a soccer game - their class was playing against another class. Members of the soccer team prepared an invitation to present to me in front of the class - I couldn't say no. So everyone cheered.
On the day of the match, the class was waiting for me in the hallway for me to get out of my class and we all walked down to the field together. All 50 of them wanted to hold my hand on the way down, it was kinda of funny. I cheered for both sides, as they were both my classes. They even coordinated cheers in English just for me! At the double whistle blow, the class that I came with won! They were so excited!
Fast forward to last week. I had that class on Wednesday. We were doing a unit on what you wanted to be when you grew up. One of my SFS's said that he wanted to be a soccer player. So, I asked him (at the end of class) if he was on the soccer team. He very proudly said yes. Then I asked if he was #9 (I was very impressed with #9 at the soccer game) because he was about the same size. He beamed while turning a very bright red. As soon as he was a nice shade of scarlet, the taunts of, "Laoshi, he LOVES you!" started to pour out as well as similar sentiments in Chinese. I think that they managed embarrass him quite well. Hopefully, this won't make him shy in class as he is one of my best students.
Anyhow, this is not to say that I don't have some truly outstanding girls. I have a really sweet group of girls who I just want to hug whenever I see them. They give me little "love" notes or folded stars after class and really like to try to speak to me in English. They greet me in Korean (I taught them a little, as that I all I know) and we sometimes hang out together in the garden at their long mid-morning break. They are really interested in learning about me, the US and anything I want to share with them. We have a lot of fun trying to figure out what we are saying to each other. My girl groups are really thoughtful and are very helpful in the classroom when the boys are being naughty - they are the enforcers.
So, I know that this post is a little random. But hey, just recording thoughts as they come to me!
How Guyuan Stole Christmas
Happy Holidays!
I hope that everyone had a wonderful holiday! Not much holiday celebration here, but Santa is quite the rock star in Guyuan. For our Christmas Eve feast Matt and I had ramen and for Christmas Day - yup, Dico's. I have a feeling that we will be quite busy for New Year's as the invitations are starting to pile up.
The school did have a party that we were "invited" to go to - meaning, we were told that we were required to go and prepare a performance. We were led to believe that it was a small get together with the English department, but, as with much here, that wasn't quite the entire truth. They told us that to get us to say "yes", but then we found out that really it was really in the auditorium in front of a crowd of about 600 teachers, students and administrators. Small get together is was not.
So, we were getting all sorts of pressure to perform a Christmas carol and make a speech about how much we adore the school. I really didn't want to, especially since I was still not feeling very well (and have not forgiven them for the sick visit episode). So, I decided that this is when I would make my stand and resist like nothing else. Stone wall. Yup. That's me. I said that I would say a few words after they fessed up that they wanted to give us Christmas gifts. But sing? Nope. Nada. No way. No how. I put my foot down in a bad way. I know that I was a little harsh, but they really do not give you a graceful way out of anything, so you just have to be blunt (rude). Long story short, I told them that I found it very humiliating to but put on display like they wanted me to be and that there was no way that I would do it. So, what happened after that? They turned to Matt and said, "so you will sing then". Ahhhhhh!!! Then told me that I would go up on stage and sway with them as they sing. How lame is that? Honestly. Sway? I said told them that I will get on the stage once to give my remarks, and that would be all. No swaying, no tricking me into singing. Period.
So, Matt agreed to sing a short song - We Wish You a Merry Christmas, with some of the teachers in his department. As the days to the dreaded event ticked down, both of our attitudes became more and more foul. If only you could hear some of the things we were saying to our light fixtures (I don't dare to have a written record of our comments). Then, poof! Matt got my cold. And, poof! His voice was gone.
That Friday, my English department had a dinner that I was told that I must attend because the head master wanted to present something to Matt and me. I told the head of my department that I was still not well and that Matt had just come down with my cold and is not well. She told us that "it doesn't matter" and that we are to meet them at 6:00 PM to go to dinner. I said that we really can't be out late as we are both sick. She told me that it should only take about an hour or so.
So, we go to the dinner (really not happy about it) and sit around and look at the food. No one is really speaking in English and Matt and I are too tired and sick to really even want to speak to each other, much less eat. We are hopeful to make our exit as the hour rounds, but, shit - the headmaster shows up and the dice shakers come out. We sit there for the next three hours coughing and sneezing - miserable. But, they really don't care about how we are feeling as long as they get their way. They wanted us to be there no matter how horrible we were feeling. There wasn't even any recognition that we may want to go home to rest. Three hours later we were permitted to go home.
Saturday afternoon we get a call from our waiban - she's coming over in 10 minutes (at least she called first so we have time to get out of our pajamas). She comes over and tells us that there is a lunch on Sunday that we must go to. Why? Because some teacher in the history department, who we have never met, just published a book in English, that we have never read. She told us that we were on the itinerary to make a speech about how good the book is. Great. There goes our weekend, consumed by school events. No consideration for our schedule or that it is our holiday (this is another example of why I feel that they think they own us). If we were homesick, this would be just horrible to go through. Anyhow, we stressed that this is a major holiday time in the US when people get together with family and since we were not at home this year, our families would be calling on Sunday. This didn't really phase her - she continued as if we hadn't even said anything and told us that it should take about 1 hour (which means 3 hours at minimum). We pressed on with our protest. She left with us not at all pleased, but, hey, she was getting her way - we were going to their event for an hour. We did make a very blunt point to her about telling us about things ahead of time. Otherwise we cannot guarantee that we would be able to accommodate them.
So, back to Matt's voice, or lack thereof. When he brought this problem to our waiban she said that "it doesn't matter". Which has come to mean, it doesn't matter that you are sick, you will do it any way. So, Matt, with a fever and no voice, was forced up onto the stage and was told to lip sync the words. Good idea in theory. The chorus was made up of Chinese women, all with very high singing voices. So, Matt lip syncing to their voices...? So, my waiban got a program to show us when we will need to be on stage. She noticed that my name was "accidentally" printed on the program to sing. Whoops! I did the good ol' Chinese, "it doesn't matter, I will just stay here and watch."
So, how did the performance go? Let's just say that it was a thoroughly humiliating experience for my poor husband. They all pointed and laughed as if they has never seen anything so funny. I think that I am pretty safe in saying that there will be NO more performances from their monkeys - errr - foreign teachers.
Later that night, after the performance, we got a call. Our waiban. She told us that they cancelled the lunch on Sunday. So, just because we didn't want to go, they cancelled it. They planned an entire event that depended on us being there to endorse something that we have never read without even asking us if we could come. Whew! Sometimes it feels to me that they think that they own us. I don't like it. They are very friendly, but their hospitality is just overwhelming! I have told the light fixtures my thoughts on that many times.
Quite a therapeutic hobby, actually. Y'know, talking to the light fixtures. Because if someone is listening, well, shame, shame, you shouldn't be spying in the first place and if there are no monitoring devices, I am just venting to an inanimate object - no harm, no foul.
I hope that everyone had a wonderful holiday! Not much holiday celebration here, but Santa is quite the rock star in Guyuan. For our Christmas Eve feast Matt and I had ramen and for Christmas Day - yup, Dico's. I have a feeling that we will be quite busy for New Year's as the invitations are starting to pile up.
The school did have a party that we were "invited" to go to - meaning, we were told that we were required to go and prepare a performance. We were led to believe that it was a small get together with the English department, but, as with much here, that wasn't quite the entire truth. They told us that to get us to say "yes", but then we found out that really it was really in the auditorium in front of a crowd of about 600 teachers, students and administrators. Small get together is was not.
So, we were getting all sorts of pressure to perform a Christmas carol and make a speech about how much we adore the school. I really didn't want to, especially since I was still not feeling very well (and have not forgiven them for the sick visit episode). So, I decided that this is when I would make my stand and resist like nothing else. Stone wall. Yup. That's me. I said that I would say a few words after they fessed up that they wanted to give us Christmas gifts. But sing? Nope. Nada. No way. No how. I put my foot down in a bad way. I know that I was a little harsh, but they really do not give you a graceful way out of anything, so you just have to be blunt (rude). Long story short, I told them that I found it very humiliating to but put on display like they wanted me to be and that there was no way that I would do it. So, what happened after that? They turned to Matt and said, "so you will sing then". Ahhhhhh!!! Then told me that I would go up on stage and sway with them as they sing. How lame is that? Honestly. Sway? I said told them that I will get on the stage once to give my remarks, and that would be all. No swaying, no tricking me into singing. Period.
So, Matt agreed to sing a short song - We Wish You a Merry Christmas, with some of the teachers in his department. As the days to the dreaded event ticked down, both of our attitudes became more and more foul. If only you could hear some of the things we were saying to our light fixtures (I don't dare to have a written record of our comments). Then, poof! Matt got my cold. And, poof! His voice was gone.
That Friday, my English department had a dinner that I was told that I must attend because the head master wanted to present something to Matt and me. I told the head of my department that I was still not well and that Matt had just come down with my cold and is not well. She told us that "it doesn't matter" and that we are to meet them at 6:00 PM to go to dinner. I said that we really can't be out late as we are both sick. She told me that it should only take about an hour or so.
So, we go to the dinner (really not happy about it) and sit around and look at the food. No one is really speaking in English and Matt and I are too tired and sick to really even want to speak to each other, much less eat. We are hopeful to make our exit as the hour rounds, but, shit - the headmaster shows up and the dice shakers come out. We sit there for the next three hours coughing and sneezing - miserable. But, they really don't care about how we are feeling as long as they get their way. They wanted us to be there no matter how horrible we were feeling. There wasn't even any recognition that we may want to go home to rest. Three hours later we were permitted to go home.
Saturday afternoon we get a call from our waiban - she's coming over in 10 minutes (at least she called first so we have time to get out of our pajamas). She comes over and tells us that there is a lunch on Sunday that we must go to. Why? Because some teacher in the history department, who we have never met, just published a book in English, that we have never read. She told us that we were on the itinerary to make a speech about how good the book is. Great. There goes our weekend, consumed by school events. No consideration for our schedule or that it is our holiday (this is another example of why I feel that they think they own us). If we were homesick, this would be just horrible to go through. Anyhow, we stressed that this is a major holiday time in the US when people get together with family and since we were not at home this year, our families would be calling on Sunday. This didn't really phase her - she continued as if we hadn't even said anything and told us that it should take about 1 hour (which means 3 hours at minimum). We pressed on with our protest. She left with us not at all pleased, but, hey, she was getting her way - we were going to their event for an hour. We did make a very blunt point to her about telling us about things ahead of time. Otherwise we cannot guarantee that we would be able to accommodate them.
So, back to Matt's voice, or lack thereof. When he brought this problem to our waiban she said that "it doesn't matter". Which has come to mean, it doesn't matter that you are sick, you will do it any way. So, Matt, with a fever and no voice, was forced up onto the stage and was told to lip sync the words. Good idea in theory. The chorus was made up of Chinese women, all with very high singing voices. So, Matt lip syncing to their voices...? So, my waiban got a program to show us when we will need to be on stage. She noticed that my name was "accidentally" printed on the program to sing. Whoops! I did the good ol' Chinese, "it doesn't matter, I will just stay here and watch."
So, how did the performance go? Let's just say that it was a thoroughly humiliating experience for my poor husband. They all pointed and laughed as if they has never seen anything so funny. I think that I am pretty safe in saying that there will be NO more performances from their monkeys - errr - foreign teachers.
Later that night, after the performance, we got a call. Our waiban. She told us that they cancelled the lunch on Sunday. So, just because we didn't want to go, they cancelled it. They planned an entire event that depended on us being there to endorse something that we have never read without even asking us if we could come. Whew! Sometimes it feels to me that they think that they own us. I don't like it. They are very friendly, but their hospitality is just overwhelming! I have told the light fixtures my thoughts on that many times.
Quite a therapeutic hobby, actually. Y'know, talking to the light fixtures. Because if someone is listening, well, shame, shame, you shouldn't be spying in the first place and if there are no monitoring devices, I am just venting to an inanimate object - no harm, no foul.
Thursday, December 15, 2005
I Need 100 cc's of Tolerance, Stat!
So, I have a cold. Nothing too bad, but enough to keep me out of classes for a couple of days as it is very difficult to direct a group of 11 years olds without a loud voice and when one is coughing every 3 seconds. I called my waiban and told her that I had a cold and that I should probably stay home the next day to recover. Easy right? No problem, right? WRONG!
The response I got was definitely not expected or wanted - they kind of freaked out about it. Normally, when I was feeling under the weather in the States I could just call in to my employer and let them know not to expect me that day and my boss would say something like, "Thanks for letting me know, hope you feel better soon." Not at all like what I just experienced here.
I want to interject here that there is no good way to flat out say "no" in Chinese. You can negate a positive like: correct/not correct, want/don't want, etc. But no word that simply means "NO". Anyhow, back to the story.
So, you're sick - nothing too extreme, coughing, sneezing, congestion, general discomfort - you all know what you would be doing to treat this kind of cold. Rest, liquids, maybe some cold medicine, solitary confinement, etc. So, you get into your pajamas - the ultra comfortable lounging pair (the pair that only ever sees the interior of your home), your favorite blanket and pillow, something to drink, box of tissues and remote. Voila! You're set to tackle this thing! When you are in this state the last thing that you want is visitors, much less the entire English department knocking on your door!
Matt went to our tutoring session that afternoon and our tutor was late so he sat in the office and was reviewing his Chinese. Our waiban came in and said hello and told him that she was going to go and see how I was doing. Not thinking too much of that Matt suggested that she call first because I was probably sleeping. Then our waiban went into the other room of the office and was talking to all of the other teachers in there - they all get ready to go out with her. Seeing this, Matt told her that she definitely should call to tell me that they were coming over. He tried to run interference - "she is sick, I don't think that she is up for visitors" and "it is not necessary for all of you to go" and variations of those statements. One of the teachers caught on and said to all of them that since I was not feeling well, that visitors may not be such a good idea. That idea was so quickly ignored that it was as if no one had even suggested something.
Nope, they were determined to come and see me, sick. Matt did stress the importance of calling me, seeing what was taking form in front of him. So she called. She called what would be one pissed off sick person.
The call:
Waiban: Hello Molly! We are coming over now to see you.
Me: Oh, (pause) I just have a cold. It is not necessary.
Waiban: Is necessary, we will be over soon.
Me: No, it really isn't necessary, I am sick, I do not want...
Waiban: 10 minutes, we will be there in 10 minutes.
Me: No, I just have a cold, it is not necessary…
Waiban: Is very necessary, is necessary, is necessary. 10 minutes, goodbye!
Insert - loud ranting, swearing and coughing here.
So, I am madly trying to find something to wear that isn’t my pajamas and pick up a little bit. Matt comes home and tells me that “they” are on their way over. He also fills me in on the “they” part of the mix. We try to pick up a little bit (we weren’t expecting company) and I go back upstairs.
Knock, knock, knock - “Hello? We’re here!” I am still upstairs trying to bring my anger down to a simmer so I can at least pretend to appreciate their concern. Our waiban yells up the stairs - “Molly, it is not necessary for you to come down”. Okay, fine, but then WHY ARE YOU ALL HERE! I just want to be left alone. So they are all chatting downstairs - one of the teachers is telling Matt that he should bring me to the hospital. Matt is disagreeing and the conversation keeps going round and round and round, until finally Matt hollers up the stairs, “Hey Molly, do you want to go to the hospital?” Upstairs, I’m thinking, what??? I YELL back down a very resolute “NO!!!”
Soon, our waiban, announces that she is coming upstairs to see me. So, not able to stop her now, she is in my room, looking at me. The first thing that she says to me is how she is very sorry about me getting so gravely sick. Gravely sick? I have a head and chest cold that we wouldn’t even blink at in the States. I told her that it was not serious, that it was just a cold. She then continues to tell me that I should be warmer because of my very serious illness. Serious illness? I have a cold, just a cold. I try to impress on her that it was just a cold, I have had them before, it was bound to happen working with 800 children a week, etc. She then starts to tuck me in - with all of the blankets that we have! Yes, my waiban, my kind of “boss”, is tucking in a 29 year old adult! She then tells me all of the things that I can eat and cannot eat and inspects my medication - I just wanted them to go, so I started to make up treatments for the various things on my nightstand. She feels my head and tells me that I feel quite hot - well, why would that be? The 7 blankets on top of me? My blistering rage? Then she starts to force the idea of bringing the doctor to my home to give me a check-up. For the love of God! I just have a freaking cold! I adamantly refuse. Then she says as she is getting up to leave, if you are not better by tomorrow, we will have the doctor come over and give you an injection. An injection?! No way. So, losing all appreciative pretense, I respond with a resounding “No, I will refuse any type of injection.” Geez, I have been sick for a day and you want me to go to the hospital and get injections? No way.
Matt leaves with our waiban to go to the pharmacy. She again tries to push the idea of getting an injection. Matt tells her that he is certain that I would not want that. But, no matter, she keeps on with it. They get some medication and she starts interrogating him what he is going to feed me. Let’s just say that they agreed to disagree on much of the food, medication and treatment for me, with a simple cold. Finally, Matt heads home with the medication, with our waiban making me chicken soup because Matt is incapable, and with the parting comment that if I am not feeling better by tomorrow, she will call and set up for a doctor to come to give me an injection.
What happened to get a lot of rest and drink plenty of fluids?
She did mention to Matt that this is Chinese custom - to visit someone when they are sick. As it seems to me, it is really to ignore what the sick person wants, irritate her, and do what you want to do anyway. I know that the intention is to be thoughtful and concerned, but oh-wowie, this is just too much, especially for a cranky sicky.
So, all of this drama over a little cold. It made think, what would they do if there was an actual emergency? They kinda freaked out with my cold, so what if I got the paralysis again? What if I had an asthma attack? Well, I guess that we will never know as Matt and I will be working no matter how sick, no matter what the problem is from now on just to avoid this kind of attention. My goodness, it truly feels like they think that we are totally incapable of anything. We ask a question about food and the attitude is that the foreigners aren’t able to feed themselves. We want to go on vacation, but we have to call and “check-in” everyday. I get a cold and you would think, by the response, that I was on my death bed. I keep on telling myself that they are just concerned for our well-being and they have good intentions. But in this particular case, the road to my personal hell is certainly paved with their good intentions. I just want to sleep, drink plenty of fluids and be left alone to be sick.
I hope that an apple day will keep everyone away from here on out.
The response I got was definitely not expected or wanted - they kind of freaked out about it. Normally, when I was feeling under the weather in the States I could just call in to my employer and let them know not to expect me that day and my boss would say something like, "Thanks for letting me know, hope you feel better soon." Not at all like what I just experienced here.
I want to interject here that there is no good way to flat out say "no" in Chinese. You can negate a positive like: correct/not correct, want/don't want, etc. But no word that simply means "NO". Anyhow, back to the story.
So, you're sick - nothing too extreme, coughing, sneezing, congestion, general discomfort - you all know what you would be doing to treat this kind of cold. Rest, liquids, maybe some cold medicine, solitary confinement, etc. So, you get into your pajamas - the ultra comfortable lounging pair (the pair that only ever sees the interior of your home), your favorite blanket and pillow, something to drink, box of tissues and remote. Voila! You're set to tackle this thing! When you are in this state the last thing that you want is visitors, much less the entire English department knocking on your door!
Matt went to our tutoring session that afternoon and our tutor was late so he sat in the office and was reviewing his Chinese. Our waiban came in and said hello and told him that she was going to go and see how I was doing. Not thinking too much of that Matt suggested that she call first because I was probably sleeping. Then our waiban went into the other room of the office and was talking to all of the other teachers in there - they all get ready to go out with her. Seeing this, Matt told her that she definitely should call to tell me that they were coming over. He tried to run interference - "she is sick, I don't think that she is up for visitors" and "it is not necessary for all of you to go" and variations of those statements. One of the teachers caught on and said to all of them that since I was not feeling well, that visitors may not be such a good idea. That idea was so quickly ignored that it was as if no one had even suggested something.
Nope, they were determined to come and see me, sick. Matt did stress the importance of calling me, seeing what was taking form in front of him. So she called. She called what would be one pissed off sick person.
The call:
Waiban: Hello Molly! We are coming over now to see you.
Me: Oh, (pause) I just have a cold. It is not necessary.
Waiban: Is necessary, we will be over soon.
Me: No, it really isn't necessary, I am sick, I do not want...
Waiban: 10 minutes, we will be there in 10 minutes.
Me: No, I just have a cold, it is not necessary…
Waiban: Is very necessary, is necessary, is necessary. 10 minutes, goodbye!
Insert - loud ranting, swearing and coughing here.
So, I am madly trying to find something to wear that isn’t my pajamas and pick up a little bit. Matt comes home and tells me that “they” are on their way over. He also fills me in on the “they” part of the mix. We try to pick up a little bit (we weren’t expecting company) and I go back upstairs.
Knock, knock, knock - “Hello? We’re here!” I am still upstairs trying to bring my anger down to a simmer so I can at least pretend to appreciate their concern. Our waiban yells up the stairs - “Molly, it is not necessary for you to come down”. Okay, fine, but then WHY ARE YOU ALL HERE! I just want to be left alone. So they are all chatting downstairs - one of the teachers is telling Matt that he should bring me to the hospital. Matt is disagreeing and the conversation keeps going round and round and round, until finally Matt hollers up the stairs, “Hey Molly, do you want to go to the hospital?” Upstairs, I’m thinking, what??? I YELL back down a very resolute “NO!!!”
Soon, our waiban, announces that she is coming upstairs to see me. So, not able to stop her now, she is in my room, looking at me. The first thing that she says to me is how she is very sorry about me getting so gravely sick. Gravely sick? I have a head and chest cold that we wouldn’t even blink at in the States. I told her that it was not serious, that it was just a cold. She then continues to tell me that I should be warmer because of my very serious illness. Serious illness? I have a cold, just a cold. I try to impress on her that it was just a cold, I have had them before, it was bound to happen working with 800 children a week, etc. She then starts to tuck me in - with all of the blankets that we have! Yes, my waiban, my kind of “boss”, is tucking in a 29 year old adult! She then tells me all of the things that I can eat and cannot eat and inspects my medication - I just wanted them to go, so I started to make up treatments for the various things on my nightstand. She feels my head and tells me that I feel quite hot - well, why would that be? The 7 blankets on top of me? My blistering rage? Then she starts to force the idea of bringing the doctor to my home to give me a check-up. For the love of God! I just have a freaking cold! I adamantly refuse. Then she says as she is getting up to leave, if you are not better by tomorrow, we will have the doctor come over and give you an injection. An injection?! No way. So, losing all appreciative pretense, I respond with a resounding “No, I will refuse any type of injection.” Geez, I have been sick for a day and you want me to go to the hospital and get injections? No way.
Matt leaves with our waiban to go to the pharmacy. She again tries to push the idea of getting an injection. Matt tells her that he is certain that I would not want that. But, no matter, she keeps on with it. They get some medication and she starts interrogating him what he is going to feed me. Let’s just say that they agreed to disagree on much of the food, medication and treatment for me, with a simple cold. Finally, Matt heads home with the medication, with our waiban making me chicken soup because Matt is incapable, and with the parting comment that if I am not feeling better by tomorrow, she will call and set up for a doctor to come to give me an injection.
What happened to get a lot of rest and drink plenty of fluids?
She did mention to Matt that this is Chinese custom - to visit someone when they are sick. As it seems to me, it is really to ignore what the sick person wants, irritate her, and do what you want to do anyway. I know that the intention is to be thoughtful and concerned, but oh-wowie, this is just too much, especially for a cranky sicky.
So, all of this drama over a little cold. It made think, what would they do if there was an actual emergency? They kinda freaked out with my cold, so what if I got the paralysis again? What if I had an asthma attack? Well, I guess that we will never know as Matt and I will be working no matter how sick, no matter what the problem is from now on just to avoid this kind of attention. My goodness, it truly feels like they think that we are totally incapable of anything. We ask a question about food and the attitude is that the foreigners aren’t able to feed themselves. We want to go on vacation, but we have to call and “check-in” everyday. I get a cold and you would think, by the response, that I was on my death bed. I keep on telling myself that they are just concerned for our well-being and they have good intentions. But in this particular case, the road to my personal hell is certainly paved with their good intentions. I just want to sleep, drink plenty of fluids and be left alone to be sick.
I hope that an apple day will keep everyone away from here on out.
Saturday, December 10, 2005
Bugs and Baijiu
Just got back from lunch. Today we were able to lock China out at 1:30 PM!
We went out to pay our phone bill today on the way we saw a sample table on the corner. They were handing out free samples of baijiu (hard rice liquor) out on the corner!
Anyhow, Matt and I are throwing down 50/50 odds that our apartment is bugged. So, we have been spending our free time talking to the light fixtures.
We went out to pay our phone bill today on the way we saw a sample table on the corner. They were handing out free samples of baijiu (hard rice liquor) out on the corner!
Anyhow, Matt and I are throwing down 50/50 odds that our apartment is bugged. So, we have been spending our free time talking to the light fixtures.
Thursday, December 08, 2005
ATTENTION: Cootie Shot Shortage
The big medical talk around here is about the bird flu and whether or not one should get a flu shot and whether or not one should try to get some Tamiflu pills. I'm not saying that the concern is misplaced, but my question is what happened to all of the cootie shots? Seriously. The fear of possible "cootie" infection is the #1 concern of my students and, from what I have seen, young adults as well. What happened - Government seizure? Stockpiling?
Do you remember in elementary school giving/receiving "cootie shots"? Usually a pinch or punch before and/or after coming into contact with an icky boy or girl? The need for such an immunization usually wore off around Jr. High or Middle School - sometimes a little sooner. Not in China. There is a noticeable lack of proper "cootie" immunization and a very noticeable fear of said "cootie" infection.
In all of my classes it is nearly impossible to get girls and boys to talk to each other. When I make them pair up boy-girl, they HATE it - they just sit there looking surly trying their absolute hardest not to touch or look at each other. When I put them into groups of four the two girls will work together and the two boys will work together. But heaven forbid they interact with each other!
I had my class line up according to birthday - the boys and girls could not even handle standing next to each other - I saw the most disgusted expressions on faces that day. Usually, what winds up happening is a boy will "do" something to a girl and the girl will hit the boy, hard. Boy will then tattle on the girl or start crying. Then, I have to separate them and try to tell the girl not to hit and try to get the boy to stop crying.
At the senior school, Matt was invited to go to an English corner that the student union arranged for the kids in senior 1. He was trying to get the kids to just talk to each other (which can be very difficult), but noticed that the girls would not talk with the boys and vice versa. So he decided to play match maker and began to pair them up. Girls were pulling on friends shouting a desperate "Nooooooooo", boys were running away and hiding - mayhem, but funny.
However, when they do talk to each other it isn't always very successful either. Matt had an English corner for his students in senior 3 and was again having difficulty getting them to talk to each other (they address everything to the teacher, not to their classmates). They asked Matt what his favorite movie was and Teacher Perz said, "you should be asking each other! You, ask her what her favorite movie is..." etc. So, one of the boys asked a girl what her favorite movie is and she replied that it was Braveheart. The boy then said in a very interrogative manner "So, you love Mel Gibson, is he your perfect man?" The girl meekly replied, "No..." boy interrupts with a snide, "Mel Gibson is to rude? So, you prefer gentlemen?" That was when Matt intervened and told the girl to ask what the boy's favorite movie was - his favorite movie was Finding Nemo?! Favorite character? Nemo - nope. Sea Turtle - nope. It was Nemo's father! The girl seemed a little shell shocked at the end of the class.
Last Monday, we were invited to dinner and then to a new bar/night club with our waiban and one of her classmates. The tables were starting to fill up with couples and groups of friends. It took a while for the dance floor to warm up but soon, it was pumping with people all bumping and grinding. But something seemed a little "off". On closer inspection, it was only men on the dance floor dancing. When a woman would go out on the floor she was completely ignored. When the groups/couples went to dance they would enter as a group/couple but then quickly separate so only the men were together and the same with the women. Are they gay, you may ask? As far as we are able to tell, there really is no gay scene in small, po-dunk Guyuan. The man who invited us out did not ask me to dance or his friend (our female waiban) he held out his hand to Matt to came and shake with him on the dance floor. That was kind of funny to watch too. So, to describe the scene in front of us, it was like a MTV production with all of the colored lights and flashing strobe, people crowding the floor - all doing that very intimate, close dance. But only with members of the same sex.
So, from what I have observed here in Guyuan, the fear of possible cootie contamination lasts well into the 20s. Although I abhor the thought of hitting my students, maybe a good cootie shot here and there would do some good :-)
Do you remember in elementary school giving/receiving "cootie shots"? Usually a pinch or punch before and/or after coming into contact with an icky boy or girl? The need for such an immunization usually wore off around Jr. High or Middle School - sometimes a little sooner. Not in China. There is a noticeable lack of proper "cootie" immunization and a very noticeable fear of said "cootie" infection.
In all of my classes it is nearly impossible to get girls and boys to talk to each other. When I make them pair up boy-girl, they HATE it - they just sit there looking surly trying their absolute hardest not to touch or look at each other. When I put them into groups of four the two girls will work together and the two boys will work together. But heaven forbid they interact with each other!
I had my class line up according to birthday - the boys and girls could not even handle standing next to each other - I saw the most disgusted expressions on faces that day. Usually, what winds up happening is a boy will "do" something to a girl and the girl will hit the boy, hard. Boy will then tattle on the girl or start crying. Then, I have to separate them and try to tell the girl not to hit and try to get the boy to stop crying.
At the senior school, Matt was invited to go to an English corner that the student union arranged for the kids in senior 1. He was trying to get the kids to just talk to each other (which can be very difficult), but noticed that the girls would not talk with the boys and vice versa. So he decided to play match maker and began to pair them up. Girls were pulling on friends shouting a desperate "Nooooooooo", boys were running away and hiding - mayhem, but funny.
However, when they do talk to each other it isn't always very successful either. Matt had an English corner for his students in senior 3 and was again having difficulty getting them to talk to each other (they address everything to the teacher, not to their classmates). They asked Matt what his favorite movie was and Teacher Perz said, "you should be asking each other! You, ask her what her favorite movie is..." etc. So, one of the boys asked a girl what her favorite movie is and she replied that it was Braveheart. The boy then said in a very interrogative manner "So, you love Mel Gibson, is he your perfect man?" The girl meekly replied, "No..." boy interrupts with a snide, "Mel Gibson is to rude? So, you prefer gentlemen?" That was when Matt intervened and told the girl to ask what the boy's favorite movie was - his favorite movie was Finding Nemo?! Favorite character? Nemo - nope. Sea Turtle - nope. It was Nemo's father! The girl seemed a little shell shocked at the end of the class.
Last Monday, we were invited to dinner and then to a new bar/night club with our waiban and one of her classmates. The tables were starting to fill up with couples and groups of friends. It took a while for the dance floor to warm up but soon, it was pumping with people all bumping and grinding. But something seemed a little "off". On closer inspection, it was only men on the dance floor dancing. When a woman would go out on the floor she was completely ignored. When the groups/couples went to dance they would enter as a group/couple but then quickly separate so only the men were together and the same with the women. Are they gay, you may ask? As far as we are able to tell, there really is no gay scene in small, po-dunk Guyuan. The man who invited us out did not ask me to dance or his friend (our female waiban) he held out his hand to Matt to came and shake with him on the dance floor. That was kind of funny to watch too. So, to describe the scene in front of us, it was like a MTV production with all of the colored lights and flashing strobe, people crowding the floor - all doing that very intimate, close dance. But only with members of the same sex.
So, from what I have observed here in Guyuan, the fear of possible cootie contamination lasts well into the 20s. Although I abhor the thought of hitting my students, maybe a good cootie shot here and there would do some good :-)
Thursday, December 01, 2005
Daily Cravings - Food and Feelings
My food diary - definitely not that dieting kind of diary!
November 30, 2005 - Today I miss cheese. Ahhhh, cheese! I have to go 8 hours to get that delightful milk product. It's not that Chinese food is bad, in fact, it is quite good. But there is not the "food genre" variety here that I became used to in the States.
December 5, 2005 - Today we finished up a bag of Doritos that my dear friend, Deborah sent us. We delighted in the nacho cheeziness, but were sad when they were gone.
December 6, 2005 - Nothing like mac and cheese! mmm-mmm-mmm! We didn't feel like going out today so we made one of the precious boxes of mac and cheese from Matt's mom. Matt also polished off some frozen dumplings and a whole bag of pickled, sweet garlic (probably over 12 heads of garlic).
December 7, 2005 - This morning our room smelled like garlic.
December 29, 2005 - Thank you all for your generous cheese-food contributions! I just took an online survey about couscous, so, of course, that got me hungry for a big steaming plate of parmesan cheese couscous. Mmmmm... For the past couple of days I have really wanted baked beans and tomato soup. I am in the land of empty carbs, but no, I want different kinds of empty carbs. Geez, what a picky palette!
January 5, 2006! - Happy New Year! I just wanted to let you know that right now, I totally appreciate global corporations - well, at least some of them (still have problems with many - see "The Corporation" documentary). Our local underground market just started to carry the Lays Potato Chip "international" line. All kinds of funky flavors - green tea, lemon, beef curry, seafood grill, cucumber, etc. BUT the most important flavor (and the most unpopular here in Guyuan): swiss cheese! Don't get me wrong, the Pringles were doing the trick, but, yes, variety is the spice of life. I bought 8 bags. I guess that I can up my daily potato count to about 5 spuds a day.
January 8, 2006 - Yesterday Matt and I decided to treat ourselves, no, not to Dico's, we broke open two boxes of our Jambalaya. Cajun goodness! Today, I read an email from my mom. One of her friends gave her some Chex Mix. Yup, that's what I want. Chex Mix, pre-bagged or homemade - I'm not picky. We don't cook a lot at home (because we are lazy), but we have found that "hot pot at home" is pretty nice. So, about once a week we try to have that at home. Not any cheaper than going to a hot pot place, but at least we can eat in.
November 30, 2005 - Today I miss cheese. Ahhhh, cheese! I have to go 8 hours to get that delightful milk product. It's not that Chinese food is bad, in fact, it is quite good. But there is not the "food genre" variety here that I became used to in the States.
December 5, 2005 - Today we finished up a bag of Doritos that my dear friend, Deborah sent us. We delighted in the nacho cheeziness, but were sad when they were gone.
December 6, 2005 - Nothing like mac and cheese! mmm-mmm-mmm! We didn't feel like going out today so we made one of the precious boxes of mac and cheese from Matt's mom. Matt also polished off some frozen dumplings and a whole bag of pickled, sweet garlic (probably over 12 heads of garlic).
December 7, 2005 - This morning our room smelled like garlic.
December 29, 2005 - Thank you all for your generous cheese-food contributions! I just took an online survey about couscous, so, of course, that got me hungry for a big steaming plate of parmesan cheese couscous. Mmmmm... For the past couple of days I have really wanted baked beans and tomato soup. I am in the land of empty carbs, but no, I want different kinds of empty carbs. Geez, what a picky palette!
January 5, 2006! - Happy New Year! I just wanted to let you know that right now, I totally appreciate global corporations - well, at least some of them (still have problems with many - see "The Corporation" documentary). Our local underground market just started to carry the Lays Potato Chip "international" line. All kinds of funky flavors - green tea, lemon, beef curry, seafood grill, cucumber, etc. BUT the most important flavor (and the most unpopular here in Guyuan): swiss cheese! Don't get me wrong, the Pringles were doing the trick, but, yes, variety is the spice of life. I bought 8 bags. I guess that I can up my daily potato count to about 5 spuds a day.
January 8, 2006 - Yesterday Matt and I decided to treat ourselves, no, not to Dico's, we broke open two boxes of our Jambalaya. Cajun goodness! Today, I read an email from my mom. One of her friends gave her some Chex Mix. Yup, that's what I want. Chex Mix, pre-bagged or homemade - I'm not picky. We don't cook a lot at home (because we are lazy), but we have found that "hot pot at home" is pretty nice. So, about once a week we try to have that at home. Not any cheaper than going to a hot pot place, but at least we can eat in.
Wood + Tape = Stunned
I was going to post this yesterday, but I was just to upset to write about it.
Okay, so the school discipline policy is really confusing me. I was told that I can't do anything that would physically, emotionally or mentally hurt a student. I guess that "physically" part means something more like permanent disability or something.
Tuesdays are really good days for me. ALL of the classes I have are very well behaved and, well, the kids are just really good and I enjoy being with them. Honestly, the two Jr. 1 sections and my Jr. 3 section are my SFCs (Secret Favorite Classes) with many of my SFSs (Secret Favorite Students).
Mid-morning, before the 4th period class, the entire school does these eye exercises (to promote healthy eyes). I usually go down to the classroom and wait in the hall a little bit and talk to some of the other teachers while the students do these exercises. On that particular morning I "met" the head teacher of the class that I had just taught.
The class that I had just taught has always been one of the best - best in English, participation, listening, comprehension and behavior. Maybe now I know why. I walked down the hall and started talking with another teacher, but was suddenly very distracted.
I stopped talking mid-sentence and gaped at what was happening in front of me.
The head teacher for that class had four of my sweet little boys in the hallway and was hitting them across the face and forehead with a wooden stick wrapped in tape. Not a little slap - he did a wind up and a full swing at their faces.
Four of the sweetest little boys that I have, had bright red marks all over their faces and were just standing there trying to be stoic while being hit; silent tears sneaking out and streaking down their cheeks.
I just about died.
10 minutes before, they - we were all laughing and smiling as we played an English game. One of the little boys (one of my SFSs) ran up after class and gave me a big smile and hug and said, "I love you teacher Molly!" Now he was being hit with a stick wrapped in tape (the tape makes it sting more) and crying while rubbing his bright red cheeks.
The teacher that I had been talking to looked over as if nothing was going on and very nonchalantly said, "they were very naughty".
It seems like this is fairly common at the school, as none of the other teachers are remotely phased by it, but I don't ever want to be desensitized to that sight.
I just don't get it - I can't put them in the corner or send them out into the hallway, but I can wield a stick. Never.
Okay, so the school discipline policy is really confusing me. I was told that I can't do anything that would physically, emotionally or mentally hurt a student. I guess that "physically" part means something more like permanent disability or something.
Tuesdays are really good days for me. ALL of the classes I have are very well behaved and, well, the kids are just really good and I enjoy being with them. Honestly, the two Jr. 1 sections and my Jr. 3 section are my SFCs (Secret Favorite Classes) with many of my SFSs (Secret Favorite Students).
Mid-morning, before the 4th period class, the entire school does these eye exercises (to promote healthy eyes). I usually go down to the classroom and wait in the hall a little bit and talk to some of the other teachers while the students do these exercises. On that particular morning I "met" the head teacher of the class that I had just taught.
The class that I had just taught has always been one of the best - best in English, participation, listening, comprehension and behavior. Maybe now I know why. I walked down the hall and started talking with another teacher, but was suddenly very distracted.
I stopped talking mid-sentence and gaped at what was happening in front of me.
The head teacher for that class had four of my sweet little boys in the hallway and was hitting them across the face and forehead with a wooden stick wrapped in tape. Not a little slap - he did a wind up and a full swing at their faces.
Four of the sweetest little boys that I have, had bright red marks all over their faces and were just standing there trying to be stoic while being hit; silent tears sneaking out and streaking down their cheeks.
I just about died.
10 minutes before, they - we were all laughing and smiling as we played an English game. One of the little boys (one of my SFSs) ran up after class and gave me a big smile and hug and said, "I love you teacher Molly!" Now he was being hit with a stick wrapped in tape (the tape makes it sting more) and crying while rubbing his bright red cheeks.
The teacher that I had been talking to looked over as if nothing was going on and very nonchalantly said, "they were very naughty".
It seems like this is fairly common at the school, as none of the other teachers are remotely phased by it, but I don't ever want to be desensitized to that sight.
I just don't get it - I can't put them in the corner or send them out into the hallway, but I can wield a stick. Never.
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