English Humor

Hello again!

So, this week my senior students are learning about English humor. Matt and I looked through their book and determined that the lesson was, well, super lame. I mean we weren't familiar with the jokes, nor were they funny. So, we prepared some jokes, puns, tongue twister and riddles for the students.

The joke that my class like the best was:

A woman got on a bus, holding a baby.
The bus driver said, "That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen."
In a huff, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus.
The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong.
"The bus driver insulted me," she fumed.
The man sympathized and said, "Why, he's a public servant and shouldn't say things to insult passengers."
"You're right," she said. "I think I'll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind."
"That's a good idea," the man said. "Here, let me hold your monkey."

It was really funny to watch them "get" the joke. It was like a wave swept through he classroom and left in its wake a bunch of children laughing.

The other joke they really liked was:

One day a student was taking a very difficult exam. At the end of the exam, the teacher asked all the students to put their pencils down and immediately give him their tests. The young man kept writing furiously, although he was told that if he did not stop immediately he would fail. He ignored the warning, finished the test 10
minutes later, and went to hand the test to his teacher. The teacher told him he would not take the test.

The student asked, "Do you know who I am?"
The teacher said, "No and I don't care."
The student asked again, "Are you sure you don't know who I am?"

The teacher again said no. So the student walked over to the pile of tests, placed his in the middle, then threw the papers in the air.

"Good" the student said, and walked out. He passed.

I think they got a kick out of that one because they have exams coming up.

Anyhow, another short week for me as the junior school has exams. So, until next time, my dear readers.

Back in Business!

For all of you who were wondering, I just wanted to let you know that the "nook" is back in business in Guyuan!

So, drop trow and saddle up!

I feel really bad for the street sweepers.

Mmmmm...ripe!

Go Get Your Gris-Gris On!

Do you voodoo? Zhongguo says, "NO!"

Enjoy!

Curse of the Bureaucrats
Voodoo dolls are all the rage in China—especially now that the government has banned them.

Web Exclusive
By Quindlan Krovatin
Special to Newsweek
Updated: 6:45 p.m. ET May 24, 2006

May 24, 2006 - Not content with jailing subversive reporters and restricting access to prodemocracy Web sites, the Chinese government has turned its attentions to a new destabilizing influence: voodoo dolls. Central government authorities are so bothered by the political implications of the dolls that they banned them entirely from Beijing's retail stores in April.

The dolls have become increasingly popular among the Middle Kingdom's misanthropes and trend-conscious teens. Customers purchase a doll (pin included), attach a piece of paper bearing the name of their enemy to the doll and then stab away. Voodoo Dolls Online offers a wide range of dolls in assorted colors. "Do you want to make your enemy feel as if someone is always stalking him behind his back?" reads the caption next to a doll clad in black. " 'The Magic Shadow Killer' will thoroughly destroy his spirit." Another popular item is the "Little Angel," which purportedly brings good luck and helps its owner find true love.

Authorities at Beijing's Industrial and Commercial Management Department claim the dolls encourage superstition and "promote feudalism and feudal beliefs." When officials first cracked down on the import of dolls from Thailand two months ago, Chinese entrepreneurs filled the growing demand by making the toys themselves, wrapping colorful yarn around wire skeletons and adorning each with a crude felt heart. The toys were a marvel of marketing: told that one doll could not be used to harm multiple enemies, the youths who bought them kept coming back for new ones as their hit lists grew in length. Moreover, some stores offered protective dolls that could ward off attacks from other would-be witch doctors.

But now even these homegrown innovators are under attack. In April, after receiving complaints from concerned parents, the Beijing Industrial and Commercial Management Department confiscated all dolls still on sale in the city and issued strict warnings to toy vendors. "We have been told we will be fined and even imprisoned if we continue to sell voodoo dolls," says Huang Xiaoli, a saleswoman in a toy store in the Xidan Mingzhu Market. "The police are serious," she adds. "This is not like pirated DVDs, where the authorities say 'Do not sell these,' and then look the other way while people sell them. Policemen have visited me twice since the ban took effect in April. They really believe voodoo dolls can hurt children." Five separate toy merchants from various parts of Beijing confirmed the ban. A Ministry of Commerce official would not elaborate on its policy toward the dolls—a common practice when authorities are asked about politically sensitive decisions—but by way of explanation he directed a reporter to a law prohibiting the sale of items that foster what the government sees as feudal thought.

Voodoo dolls can still be purchased in cities outside of Beijing, such as Shenzhen and Guangzhou, where central-government policy can be slower to take hold, but already citizens across the country are calling for the Communist Party to enforce a nationwide ban. The Guangdong Provincial Communist Youth League Committee issued a public statement on May 4, the anniversary of China's liberation from imperial rule, calling for a boycott of voodoo dolls and labeling those who buy them "a disgrace to socialism for believing in feudal superstitions."

However, as is the case with all outlawed vices, the sale of voodoo dolls continues to flourish on the Internet. Web sites hawking the dolls have proliferated, customers can bid on dolls on auction Web sites such as eBay and China's Alibaba, and the phenomenon continues unabated in Korea and Japan, where their sale has never been restricted. Some critics feel that the government, by expending so much energy on the dolls, is only lending credence to the traditional Chinese belief in the power of curses and black magic. "Until a month ago, I was selling 10, maybe 11 voodoo dolls a day," says Chen, the owner of a toy store in southwestern Beijing who declined to give his full name when speaking ill of the government for fear of reprisal. "I think most of the kids bought them because they were popular, not because they wanted to hurt each other. The government looks foolish when it acts scared of some silly toys. These things only have power if you believe in them."

Since the initial crackdown, there have been no voodoo-doll-related arrests, although vendors who continue to sell the dolls run the risk of incurring a hefty fine per voodoo doll in their possession. Whether a nationwide ban will be instituted remains to be seen. Regardless, the Chinese government is once more confronting the problems that arise when a market economy and socialist ideology collide.

© 2006 Newsweek, Inc.

King Happy

So, just about to wrap up another week. This has been an interesting week in a lot of ways... let's just say that I was able to talk a little about the email and why I found it offensive, but I can't say that that really changed the preference for the melanin-challenged portion of the Western population.

Anyhow, classes were good this week. Eerily good this week. I think my kids are a little stressed about their exams next week. The first day of their three day exam will be on Children's Day - what a way to celebrate your special day, math test. So, I think I will play some sort of review game and get them all cheery with the dreaded Chicken Dance.

Usually I ask my class the "How's it going?" question to start off the period. I have been getting lots of "very, very, very terrible" responses this week. One of my students, who named himself, "Happy King" said that he was feeling very sad and slumped down in his seat. He is usually a very cheery student who is always smiling. A little later, while checking group conversations, I asked him where his smile went and he said that he was too sad to smile.

I finished up my rounds and hopped back up onto the platform at the front of the classroom only to hear, "Teacher! Teacher! Look!" There was Happy King with a big purple smile drawn across his face (almost as big as the real smile that was now on his face) with highlighting marker nicely accented with a bright green Fu Manchu moustache and beard. I starting laughing and couldn't stop. I just couldn't look at him without laughing and whenever we looked at each other we would both just start cracking up. So, the kingdom is once again in good spirits as King Happy is now again the happy King.

My Remarkable Makeover!

So, whaddaya think?

I have had some time to think about my last post, and I have decided, ya know what? They're right. I think it is way more impressive to be white. So, with the help of my husband and lots of "product" I would like to unveil my new truly more impressive and remarkable white self! I do think that now I will be able to provide the local people with the desired "effect" the administration was hoping for initially.

My "White Face" Routine

So, now that I have the look, I need the act to be totally convincing with my new found ethnic identity. I know, I know - I'm western, I know that I am, but I need to be MORE western to make it more convincing. There is no room for error here.

So let's see here....

Ahem, ahem -

"I said I wanted a double no whip, half caf, soy milk, mochalatta with 1 2/3 shots of mint!"

"Hey! Check out this running man!" (see "Evolution" of dance)

"What!? White rice? I'm sorry, I can't, I have to watch my carbs."

"...that thing on NASCAR?"

I dunno, just doesn't seem to fit very well. So, I guess I will just stay the same, the same old Korean-American me - unremarkable and unimpressive. I have a feeling the whole "white" look will just irritate me after awhile. Takes too long.

Anyhow, even with the improved skin color, we still had to work out what to do with the eyes....

Thanks, for all of you who commented and emailed me about the disappointing stance they decided to take. I appreciate it.

Anyhow, no more! As of now, I will be fully resuming my Twinkie lifestyle (y'know, yellow on the outside, yada yada yada). And my official stance on the whole issue is, um, well, "Sit and Spin!"

Only Whites Need Apply

I must admit that I am a little upset as I write this. As you all know, or will know after this post, Matt and I have both really enjoyed our time here in Guyuan but will be moving to Beijing for the next term. I will miss all of my kids dearly and my time with them will always be important to me. I am already getting all choked up whenever I think about having to say goodbye to them. I am very close to some of my kids and I know what kind of impact I have had on them because they have had such a profound impact on me.

However, being a good teacher (err, English cheerleader) or making a difference in the lives of the students isn't what it is all about for the schools. It's how you look. I look Asian. I'm proud of my ancestry and I generally like the way I look. I am not what they want.

At first, it was just a suspicion (a confirmed suspicion, but still a suspicion) that my appearance was not what they were hoping for and that was why Matt was always getting whisked away and introduced to people, getting shown off while I was kinda brushed aside. I gladly accepted my status as the "other foreign teacher". No name, not white. I can't say that I exactly minded getting less attention as I know that I would not have liked getting the attention that Matt received both inside and outside of the school walls. I know why he is teaching at the key middle school and why I am teaching at the Junior School. It is no mystery.

So, most recently, we got a little e-snippet about the school's preference for future volunteers (we can read your mail too, China):

"the most important thing is that because we live in a remote area and we are the first school to invite foreign teachers in Gu Yuan, the school leaders want the two teachers to be typical Westerners in appearance, which will give the local people an impressive and remarkable effect."

It is just different when you see it in writing. I don't know who should be more offended, Matt or myself. So, looks are the most important. It doesn't matter what we do in the classroom, yeh gotta be white, because we all know that IS what the typical Westerner looks like. I know the theory behind this, but what does the typical American look like? Is Matt more of an American because he is more fair? Am I less of one because I am a naturalized citizen? It's like saying all of the Chinese have the same stereotypical look - yellow skin, slanty eyes, straight, black hair, short and a little buck-toothed. But being here, well, there is no one way a Chinese person should look - and thank God for that. All of my kids are beautiful and different. Granted they don't have blonde hair and blue eyes, and generally all have dark hair and dark eyes, but, I really don't think that one could say that they all look the same.

One of the beautiful things about America (and yes, there are quite a few) is its diversity. Granted all things are not equal in the states, but there is a wonderful diversity of people. Is a black person a typical westerner/American? Someone like my cousins - half Mexican, half European? Is there such a thing as a typical American?

I dunno. I'm disappointed.

It brings back a memory of when I was a little girl. My dad works in advertising and he had me and my brother pose for a photoshoot depicting an American family going camping. Well, in my mind (and I don't know if this is exactly accurate, but this was just my impression) everything was good, parents, son, clothing, but not the little chinky looking girl coming out of the tent. Because American families aren't mixed like that - well, at least none that you would want in print media.

I have always felt accepted in my family and out, until an outside force brings it to my attention that I am different. It is the same here. The day to day stuff I know that I am different - in that I am a visitor here and can't speak the language, etc. I look similar, but that is just on the surface, I act and conduct myself very much like a Westerner because, duh, I am a westerner. I am not made to feel unwelcome or like a disappointment (no matter how surface) on the day to day. The kids make me feel loved for who I am, not for how I look. But then, it is only at the meet and greets, the public "face" stuff, and that email when it is brought to my attention that I am not exactly what they want. They want the stereotype. Not me.

Okay, I'm rambling on a little, I am just really disappointed. I do try to understand from the school's perspective that a white face is different and could give the school a higher status, but it just feels so, well, shallow. Racial profiling. That this characteristic + that characteristic = Something better.

This in no way will change my desire to stay in contact with the people who have made such a difference in my life here, but doesn't improve my stance on the administration. The kids. The kids are what's important, at least to me.

So, as one of the first foreign teachers at a middle school in Guyuan, who apparently does not have the "typical Western" appearance, I may not have been able to "give the local people an impressive and remarkable effect" on behalf of the school or boost the status of the school by my appearance, but I am fairly certain that I have been able to make an "impressive and remarkable effect" on the beautiful children I get to work with everyday which is remarkably more important to me than any shallow concerns the administration may have.

World Record? Uhhh...Go, Yeah!?

My college pal, Jerry just sent me this article about what has been goin' on at my Alma Mater. I guess, go Beloit, go? Right?

SAT., APR 8, 2006 - 9:09 PM
Beloit College students go for Ultimate Frisbee record
GENA KITNER gkittner@madison.com
BELOIT -- About 30 Beloit College students have played Ultimate Frisbee through rain, hail, cold and even a bit of sun since Thursday ? and they plan to continue until 7 tonight in an effort to break the world record for the longest continuous Ultimate Frisbee game.

"We've seen all four seasons," said Alex Tillett-Saks, a Beloit College junior and one of the event organizers.

But despite the conditions, "everyone' remaining in really good spirits," he said Saturday as the group entered its 42nd hour.

The current Guinness world record is 70 hours and 14 seconds and the students' plan is to make it to 72 straight hours of Ultimate Frisbee.

The object in Ultimate Frisbee is to score by catching a Frisbee pass in the opponent's end zone. A player must stop running while in possession of the disc but can pivot and pass to any of the other receivers on the field.

The players are divided into two teams and play in shifts, said Nick Wolf, a Beloit College junior who also helped organize the event. The teams have a detailed record of every point to verify the statistics for the record book, he said.

The students are playing at Karris Field, which because of the rain resembled more of a mud pit than a field. As of Saturday afternoon, the group had played about 25 games, some better than others.

"You can't really run in the mud," Tillett-Saks said.

Amy Buechler, a sophomore at Beloit College, said she had never played Ultimate Frisbee until this weekend.

Why get involved now?

"Glory," she said.

Buechler was on the field Saturday after playing for 13 straight hours Friday.

"It's fun when everybody's really tired," she said. Although she got a break to sleep, she said it's hard to relax.

"When you're falling asleep you're thinking about Frisbee."

According to the Ultimate Player's Association Web site, about 100,000 people play Ultimate Frisbee in the United States.

Gabe Stader-Brown, a Beloit College junior, is an experienced Ultimate Frisbee player who tries to get involved in any Frisbee event he can.

To prepare for the nonstop Frisbee action, he ate healthier and drank more water in the weeks leading up to the event. But nothing could prepare him for the rain, hail and freezing temperatures early on.

"It seems like the weather is out to get us," he said.

As part of the event, organizers hoped to raise money for the Merrill Community Center, a nonprofit agency in Beloit's inner city.

Although no money had been raised as of Saturday afternoon, organizers hope the event raises awareness for the community center.

"We think it's great," said Princess Snyder, program director at the Merrill Community Center. "I know that they think about us when they do community service."

Judson Laipply is dancing - The Evolution of Dance

If a man dancing around in blue jeans and an Orange Crush t-shirt doesn't do it fer ya, well, there is no hope for you.

If the above doesn't work, please click here: Judson Laipply is dancing

Seriously funny and non-political for those loyal "W" fans.

Spanky, Spanky

I just had to post this brand new hall game!

The game:

STEP 1: A pair of boys link arms

STEP 2: They start to run around in a circle.

STEP 3: While they spin, they madly try to spank each other.

STEP 4: Hilarity!

I gotta bring my camera more often to catch these gems.

Classes were good today. I broke up a nasty little fight in the hall - one kid got a bloody nose from a big wallop to the face. Had to put them both in timeout for the rest of the morning break.

What else...Oh, we were talking about different kinds of meat and what animal it comes from. I asked, "What other meat do you like to eat?" Someone (I'll let you guess who) yelled out, "Horse tiger! Horse Tiger!" I looked at him and asked "you want to eat Ma Hu?" - who is a boy in the class (Ma(3)= Horse Hu(3)= Tiger). Everyone started laughing and pointing at Horse Tiger and called out "Just So-So, Just So-So". The class decided to name Ma Hu "Just So-So" because he doesn't like to study, so in school he only does "just so-so".

Boy oh boy! I will miss these kids so much when we leave!

BANG! BANG! BANG!

Why hammer when it's daylight when you can do it at 12:23 AM?

*Sigh*

For all of you who were concerned about my aches and pains, I'm all good now. Yes, in Zhongwei while listening to Gasman next door, I was stretching my stiff legs and CRRRRACK! When the pain subsided, and I regained consciousness (just kidding, I think...) I had full, pain-free use of my knee.

The saddle sore problem? Well, that worked itself out too (stinkin' metal saddle). I just couldn't sit real well for a few days.

Lip? Deflated.

All of my aches and pains did seem to amuse my children though, especially my bloated lip. Ah yes - nothing like laughing at other people. Stinkin' kinds :-)

Anyhow, went out with our awesome Waiban yesterday. She took us to a good restaurant and new American chocolate shop. So, Candinas (great shop in Verona, WI) it is not, but good to try. The chocolate mice were delightful. Also, we had some more "coincidental" conversations. Oh China PSB, you sly dogs, you!

Hammering done. Me bed.

Multi-Tasking

Hello again! I am 2 classes away from ending my week. Today my morning classes went a lot better than classes yesterday. The most complicated thing today will be assigning roles for the Chinese version of Romeo and Juliet.

Anyhow, I was thinking about going back to the 8 AM - 5 PM world last night and my diminishing work ethic. Man, I never, ever thought that I would be complaining about working 10 1/2 hours a week and how my re-adjustment period will be a bigger shock than any culture shock I may have experienced in China.

When I got back from Indonesia it was strange to come back after only a short amount of time - everyone spoke so fast, I could drink the water from the faucet and, well, toilet paper! I just wonder what it will be like now. I mean, going to Beijing will help ease me back into a faster pace, but, well, my English is bad! I don't really use contractions when speaking anymore and I find myself speaking in the wrong tense a lot of the time because the majority of my kids have not learned anything about past or future yet.

Man, I am going to be annoying when I get back! Can you imagine me at an interview speaking China slow, over explaining everything, not using any contractions, using the simplest English possible and only using the present tense? God, I'm annoying myself just thinking about it.

But not all work skills have been lost. I was quite capable at multi-tasking in my working career. That, I can still do. I can explain lyrics to an English song, while proof reading a paper, while telling a kid not to steal my coffee, while holding paper things my kids made for me in a way so they know I treasure them, while giving a certain look to a group so they know that I am watching what they are doing, while using the blackboard to write/draw English definitions to Chinese words, while acknowledging every "teacher, me" I hear and giving adequate praise/expression/whatever, while breaking up the occasional fight, while eating the cookie that is being shoved in my face. So, not quite the same as working on several computer documents, answering the ever ringing phone, chipping away at all of the paperwork on my desk, reviewing slides, running into that meeting on time, researching whatever and arranging a last minute lunch/dinner. But close, right?

I guess there is some hope for me when I get back to the States.

Boo-ya.

The Weary Teacher

wea·ry [weeree]
adj (comparative wea·ri·er, superlative wea·ri·est)
1. tired: tired, especially in having run out of strength, patience, or endurance
2. tiring: tiring or exhausting
3. showing tiredness: showing or characterized by tiredness

Encarta ® World English Dictionary © & (P) 1998-2004 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved.

So, this is my first week back teaching and I am exhausted! All in all I have worked a whopping 7.5 hours this week and have another 3 whole hours tomorrow. God help me when I get back to the real world. I just haven't been in the teachin' spirit this week. It has been good to see the chillins again, but both parties' heads are just not into school.

I think that I am just really disappointed with my class 1. They have always been one of my favorite classes to teach. The kids are great and fun, but today, I just had it. Done. I could only get about 9 kids out of 60 to focus on class and willingly participate (of course it doesn't help that before my class they have gym and free time and my class is the last class of the day). Yes, only my reliable 8 boys who always want to talk were going to concentrate on class today (mostly I think they felt bad that everyone else wasn't). The rest of them, let's see...I confiscated: 4 cartoon books, 2 math notebooks, 1 guitar music book, 1 MP3 player, 7 paper airplanes, and 1 paper boat floating in the mop bucket which was in and of itself distracting about 9 people. Also, I had to relocate 5 people who were just too distracting to each other to be near, sent 2 out into the hall (only 2 - I wanted to send about 50 out there) and broke up a fight. Done. Tired. My good 8 were really concerned about class afterward and caught up with me to apologize when I briskly left at the bell.

But, it's not just that class, it's more of an overall disappointment that includes all of my classes, this class was just the straw. I know that my class is not serious, hell, my grades don't even count and I don't think that they ever see how I mark them. So, actual class performance means absolutely jack shit. The ones who never say anything and do math every class period get the same mark as the ones who participate at every opportunity. Really, there is no incentive to participate in my class.

I don't have any great delusions about being able to teach them great things about English - I know what my class is and isn't and I know what my role here is (English Cheerleader) and I accept that gladly, but when I can't even get a class to shut the hell up for 10 seconds or to at least be quiet while I am talking, well...I'm done.

I know it will get better, eventually. Just incredibly frustrated and tired. At least on the way home today I ran into little Sam and he was really happy to see me and ran off to get the rest of the posse to walk home together. They all looked at me at once and said, concerned, "Are you sad, Teacher?" I almost started to cry that they were able to look at me feigning happiness and just seemed to know what I was feeling and they cared about how I was feeling. I told them that I had a difficult day, and that some classes did not go very well, but was much happier now that I was walking home with them. They all smiled, Sam did a little dance, and my sweet little Jack spoke up and said to me, "Teacher, you make all of us feel very, very, very happy everyday we see you. Now, smile." Of course, I already was.

The Best 24 Minutes on C-SPAN

Hey -

Check out Comedy Central's Stephen Colbert at The White House Correspondents Dinner. Pure gold!



If this doesn't work for you (or loads too slowly) go to: http://www.c-span.org/, scroll down to the "Video/Audio" section and click on "Comedian Stephen Colbert at White House Correspondents' Dinner (4/29/2006)"

Here's a few gems from his speech:

On Iraq: "I believe the government that governs best is the government that governs least. And by these standards, we have set up a fabulous government in Iraq."

On Cheney's hunting incident: "To sit here at the same table with my hero, George W. Bush...I feel like I'm dreaming. Somebody pinch me. You now what, I'm a pretty sound sleeper, that may not be enough...Somebody shoot me in the face."

On the press response to the White House shake-up and the metaphor of "rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic": "This administration is soaring, not sinking...If anything, they are re-arranging the deck chairs on the Hindenburg."

On Bush's response to disasters: "I stand by this man because he stands for things. Not only for things, he stands on things. Things like aircraft carriers, and rubble, and recently flooded city squares. And that sends a strong message, that no matter what happens to America, she will always rebound with the most powerfully staged photo ops in the world."

On Bush's response to global warming: "[Talking to Jesse Jackson] is like boxing a glacier...Enjoy that metaphor, by the way, because your grandchildren will have no idea what a glacier is."

Check it out!

Guyuan Guanxi

That 10 bucks burning a hole in your pocket? Wanna spend it in China?

Matt and I are starting up a little pet project called "Guyuan Guanxi". We want to find a small way to give back to the student community that we have grown to love. So yes, I am fishing for donations. No formal appeals, no asks for great dollar amounts, no pictures or videos on me by a garbage filled ravine ala Sally Struthers, no tax deductions (at least not yet), just that warm fuzzy feeling you get from helping out. In this case helping out a kid who is working very hard to have a future out of this poverty stricken area.

The first project is called "Home for the Holidays". Many of the kids that we teach come from poor families who are making significant sacrifices in order for their children to have a chance at getting an education in the hopes of going to a university and, hopefully, making a better life for themselves. To accomplish this, middle school students are usually boarded at the school and are in school from approximately 7:30 AM to Noon, 2:20 PM to 5:40 PM and 7 PM to 10 PM, six days a week. With additional classes on Sunday nights.

During the holidays, some students cannot afford to see their families because all of their money are going towards education. In Ningxia, you can take the bus from one end of the province to the other for no more than 70 or 80 kuai (about $9 or $10 USD) Most of our students need considerably less for a one-way ticket.

We will be working to set up a students' fund for travel where interested students may compete for travel by submitting English essays explaining why they should receive funds to go home. This is just in the beginning stages of development, so we cannot yet tell you when or how the funds will be disbursed. First, we are trying to raise a fund to disburse so we know how many students we can help. If you are interested in donating some money to this effort, please simply click this link to Matt's webpage: http://www.freewebs.com/forty4two2/guyuanguanxi.htm and you can make a donation via Paypal. Or, if you have questions or concerns, you can contact us at: guyuanguanxi@gmail.com. A website is under construction at: http://www.freewebs.com/guyuanguanxi/index.htm please excuse our dust. We will be adding to and editing this site a lot over the next year.

So, in closing, last term we had our students write about where they would go if they could go anywhere in the world. Both Matt and I got quite a few responses like the one below and were quite touched by how open they were, sharing their feelings with us when answering a simple question for their semester final.

"If I could go anywhere in the world, I would like to go to my hometown. It is very poor and some people do not think it is very pretty, but the water is very clean and I think the mountains are very beautiful. I would like to see my mother and father and brother. I have not seen them for two years and I miss them very much." Writing Assignment Excerpt From a Guyuan Yi Zhong Senior 1 Student

Our Very Last Trip to Yinchuan, I Swear!

Well, at least for this year.

After our Sha Hu stop over (see previous post), we wanted to take refuge in the lovely Yinchuan. Such a great city!

We got in before noon and checked in to the good ol' Gulou Hotel. Then we head down to Napoli's for the pizza buffet. I don't think that the restaurant was ready for the crowds. It was around 11 AM and they were out of everything! The soda machine wasn't working and the pizza was not coming out fast enough. So, we were a little disappointed with our lunch.

Since this is our last time here, we think that we should try to see some more of the sights just outside of the city. We hire a cab to take us out there First stop, Zhenbeibu - Zhang Yimou's set for the movie, "Red Sorghum". It was cheesy, but a lot of fun. We have some good pictures of us goofing off on the set, which I hope to get loaded up onto my flickr site soon (see sidebar - Unsinkable Photos). Our cab driver was awesome! We worked out a deal with him so we could make sure to get home (the studio was farther out of the city than we had expected). After, we met him out by one of the exit gates and we asked him to take us out to see the Baisikou Shuang Ta - a pair of pagodas. They were cool! He stopped alongside the road so we could get some good pictures and grab a couple of Helan Shan rocks. Then we went up to the pagodas and looked around the area. One of the reasons we wanted to see these pagodas was because our PD, Michelle, went here and was told by a couple of local men that they had spotted a UFO hovering in the sky between the two structures. No aliens today, well, besides Matt and me.

I do have to say, that we have always been very happy with the sites we have seen in Ningxia. Not so much with the resorts, but the sites have been really worth seeing. Not a lot of the regular tourist stuff, souvenirs, concession stands, women chasing you around the park with postcards. Just the site. Not a lot of alteration, some signage, at times in English. Peaceful. You can just take it all in and enjoy it.

After, back to the hotel, we went out for dinner at the new International Hotel - Mr. David's Restaurant, very pleasing western menu and excellent pizza (tomato sauce and all). Then, DVD shopping and back to the room to be lulled to sleep and woken up to the sound of people yelling, screaming and singing in the hall.

The next day was all about cheese. The new underground grocery store there carries processed cheese singles. Then, a KFC mashed potato and gravy lunch, more DVD shopping and back home.

Ahhhh...Yinchuan! What a great escape!

5 Cities, 5 Days

Whew! Back in Guyuan and IN our apartment with no trouble this time! So, here is the travel log you all have been waiting for (yeah, right):

So, half awake we stumbled out of our apartment to get out to the train station to catch our train. We had to wake up the caretakers at our apartment complex to unlock the gate so we could try to hail a cab at this time of morning/night. We got to the station, handed over our tickets and boarded our train to Zhongwei at 5:43 AM Saturday morning.

We're ready to continue our night's sleep when we realize that our tickets are standing room only, no seat. So, we try to find a semi-empty spot at the end of one of the cars. This time we pack light so we don't wake everyone up on our little walk down the aisle with a harsh slap to the face with a pack strap. So, like the lucky cats we are, we find a nice spot - IN THE SMOKING CAR! Bleck! Nothing like sleeping standing up while getting ash flicked on you, burned by careless smokers trying to snub out a cigarette (missing the ash tray because they are too busy staring at the big white guy) and people blowing smoke directly in your face because they want to stare at you up close. At least we have a little nook, and were sharing it with a little old man with a facial deformity. He was probably the only one who didn't really stare at Matt - I guess he was relieved that people found someone else to stare out.

After about an hour another man and child came and decided to wake up the old man, shove me out of the way and completely take over the entire space in the nook. The nerve of this guy! Now I can't even really stand comfortably without stepping on him or his daughter, who are now down, splayed out (as much as one can be) on the floor of the nook. Then, to make the situation even more comfortable the man keeps on moving around and kicking my feet when my STANDING got in his way. Then he kept on leaving and coming back, to let me know he wanted me to let him out or back in he would just shove me. Not the push, push that I have become accustomed to, but a shove. Apparently, like father like daughter. I was in a half snooze when she gave my leg a good shove and my knee buckled.

After a little while, Matt and I tried to see if the conditions might be better in the aisle of the car. I decide to hang out near an empty seat near the front of the car. In the group of seats I was standing next to was a group of Chinese business men and one of them offered the empty seat to me. I was so thankful! We tried to chat, they, in whatever English they knew and I in my (less than a) smattering of Chinese. The guy who paid for the seat I was in happily sat on the edge of another seat, next to one of his co-workers. They were delighted that I was Korean and that Matt was American and we were teachers in Guyuan. Later on, a different man who was listening in on our clumsy conversation piped up in broken English, "Hello! You come sit here!" He packed up all of his things and gave me his seat. He went to go stand at the end of the car. I thought that he was getting off at the next stop, only to find out that he was getting off when we were - 2 hours away! Matt was able to share an edge of a seat for a little bit, but he decided to go stand in the end because of his damn long legs (he had to get up every time someone wanted to get by, so like, every 10 seconds). So, even though my trip started with quite a bit of discomfort and annoyance, it ended quite pleasantly. When we arrived at our stop, all of the businessmen stood up and said goodbye when I passed by, I thanked the man who gave me his seat and he said that he was happy to, and the man with the facial deformity gave me a big smile and waved as we got off the train.

Next, Zhongwei. We weren't prepared for the temperature here or for what the city looked like. It was hot and not at all like Guyuan! When something is described in the guide book as a "small country town" we picture something like Guyuan or possibly a little less than what we have here. But this city had big buildings, many traffic lights AND a separate lane for bikes. Made us think that we really must be a little more remote than we thought we were if this is a small country town and fuelled our suspicion that none of the writers of the books had actually visited these places.

So anyway, we found a hotel and quickly ditched our extra clothing and went out to explore a little bit. The big site here is an interesting temple, Gao Miao. Why is it interesting, you may ask? Let's say you are a Buddhist and don't know where to go, no problem, Gao Miao. Confucian? Gao Miao. Taoist? Gao Miao. Even, Christian? Yup, Gao Miao. It was an interesting place to look around and offered great views of the city. After, we grabbed a bite to eat at Dico's and headed back to the hotel.

Okay. If you ever had any doubt, bowling alleys in hotels are not a good idea. Especially if the bowling alley is located one floor above or below the floors where guests want to sleep and there is no sound proofing. Yeah, I was lulled to sleep with the low rumble of a bowling ball rolling down a lane punctuated by the sound of the pins getting knocked down. Also, a miscalculation on our part, getting a hotel next to the train station has its benefits like location, but also its drawbacks, i.e. said location - the blasting train whistles as the train rolls in and out of town. Not the little pleasant "choo-choo" whistle I remember staying up for when I slept over at my grandma's house. But the loudest, most obnoxious air horn ever created by mankind. I admit, I exaggerate, a little, but it was LOUD and l o n g. They laid on the horn. Ohmygod. So between the bowling alley and the train, my hopes of a good night's rest were fading fast. During one of the pauses of the night time sounds, I hear through the wall, some, um, "noises". For the next 4 hours I had the pleasure of listening to our neighbor manage his gases. Yup. Gases. Loud bodily emissions, followed up with the Chinese equivalent of "OOOOOOH, YEAH!" So, me no sleepy.

Next day, off to the bus station to Shapotou. To be honest, I didn't have very high expectations of this resort area - described as a playground for the Chinese. I was sort of picturing the Wisconsin Dells in the desert. So, it turned out to be a little better than what I was picturing. We got a pleasant room that had that "cabin smell" and headed out right away to check out the activities. Dune slide - Check, Camel ride - Check, adequately ripped off - check. We paid to go out for a 2 hour camel ride in the desert - hopefully to see the remains of the Great Wall in this area.

So, well, about 45 minutes later, some of which was spent with us just walking on the pavement sans camel. We were heading back at the base. No Wall. The foreigners thoroughly disappointed. Matt bargains with one of the camel ladies. We pay a little more to take some horses out to see the remains of The Wall. Part way through the journey we both get a feeling that this "trip" was not a resort sanctioned activity - the tip off? Leaving the resort area completely, the complete lack of tourist pomp, and having to be cleared for entrance at a PLA check point. Hmmmm...any how, we were glad that we were able to get out the see the big earthen wall (the Great Wall was earthen - ahem, dirt - in these parts).

On the way back, Matt decided to walk (the stirrups were not long enough for him) so he got some color (that color would be bright red). Eventually, a scooter came and picked him up and brought him back. I was still on horseback, all of a sudden one of the women motions for me to grab the horn of the saddle, she took my horses reigns and we took off galloping. Remember that scene from Hildago during the sandstorm when he was being chased down by the approaching sand? Well, it was nothing like that. But I was riding horseback at full gallop racing down the streets of this small town, retreating from The Great Wall. It was quite a rush - must be my Mongolian/Korean blood. Genghis Khan launched several campaigns against the Western Xia (kingdom from these parts) all of which failed. It was an exhilarating experience, but I am still suffering from the consequences - saddle sore. The saddle was metal with a blanket over the top and the stirrups not well fitted. So, well, sitting it still not too comfortable.

After, we got a great dinner (some of the best Chinese food I have tasted here) and got to fall asleep in one of the softest beds we have had here in China. Unfortunately, the bar was right outside of our window and the bad music and even worse karaoke was blastin' until the wee hours.

Oh, and I got spit on by three different species of animals! You guess which ones!

Next, on to Sha Hu! We had been really lucky with transportation throughout this trip so far, especially as so much is done on the day of travel. We had to go back up to Zhongwei and catch a minibus to Sha Hu - another Chinese resort. We found the bus without much difficulty. After a long time, they tell us that there aren't enough people to go, so to try again tomorrow. The other couple on the bus then arranged for all of us to share a cab up to the resort. We didn't have high expectations for this place either and rightly so. Not that great. You have to pay to enter the park to see the lake OR as we discovered we could just take a walk around the side of the hotel and see it for free. A lot more organized fun. Both Matt and I were feeling like we had an ample supply of Chinese fun and decided to pass on the activities. So, we basically chilled out and tried to recover from the sun (Matt) and the horse (Me). Again, sleep wasn't easy to come by. People as late as 2 AM were yelling in the hallways and also, right in front of our door. Not talking loudly, but, rather, yelling, screaming and singing.

Early the next morning I woke up to a buzzing sound and a strange sensation. The resident pair of mosquitoes in our room went to town on my upper lip. It was super swollen and numb. I try to get back to sleep only to have them hit it a couple more times as well as my eye and forehead. In the morning I get a proper look of my lip - the right side is at least double the normal size. Looks like a collagen accident.

Yeesh!

Alright, so the three of us (my lip, in my opinion, qualified as another entity) decide to head to Yinchuan for a little R & R from our travels.

To be continued....