Thursday, July 26, 2007

Catch Up

I owe you a ton of posts! I will be gradually chipping away at all of the posts that I have drafts of or that I just haven't bothered to write down yet. I fully blame China, not my own laziness....

Yeah, um...

It is true though that I haven't been able to really access my blog in China since I got back from Guyuan and the remote posting by email was just not working either. So I did try to post. A little.

I am back in the US and not quite sure about being back yet. It is different and a little scary. But I will of course tell you all about it later :)

Just hang on for a little while longer and I will have oodles of posts for you all to enjoy! I will put an anouncement up if I post-date some of the entries.

Talk to you later!

Sunday, July 22, 2007

WDCD?

Cheney to be in charge during Bush colonoscopy

* Story Highlights
* President Bush will have a routine colonoscopy Saturday
* While he's anesthetized, his powers will be transferred to the vice president
* Bush had last colonoscopy in 2002, which found no problems

So my question is with these presidential powers...

What Did Cheney Do?

?????????????????????????????????????????????????

Saturday, July 21, 2007

Staring at...err...Celebrating Diversity

WHEW!

Back in the good ol' US of A, finally!

My Molly Brown crew helped me lug my bags onto my cart and we all headed to immigration. I got a nice, "welcome home!" from the official and got waved through by customs (whew!). Then came the next task - finding and re-checking in for my flight to Minnesota. I had a concern, if I would have to pay the overweight charge again as it was a new airline. I mentioned this to one of my plane friends, and he said to just tell them the story and they would let get away with it.

So, I get to my new airline ticketing line and it is finally my turn. I pull all of my stuff onto the scale only to hear from my fabulously flamy ticketing agent, "Sweetheart, your bag is overweight and I will have to charge you..." I exhaled (I was holding my breath!) and before I took my next breath in I heard from the line, "She was a volunteer in China for the past 2 years! Let her through!" and "She hasn't been home for 2 years and was on that delayed flight out of Beijing - let her through!" The agent just smiled and passed my bags on through. Before he gave me my ticket, he grabbed my hands and said, "You're almost home honey! Just a little longer, hang in there!" then took my hand and walked me out to the door leading to security and the concourses. Thank you crew and ticketing agent!

My initial impressions upon coming back were how big the people were. I had become used to being "the big one" but now I look absolutely tiny in comparison! Also, I admit, I was staring at the black people. Not just glancing, but full on staring. I would catch myself time and time again, but I just couldn't stop. Jesus. I can't go out in public until I can learn to stop it. I mean, I can at least squint and pretend that the Mexicans are Chinese. But black people, wow! Fascinating.

Security check. My first in-country flight and I get randomly selected to go through the special security screening. The man scribbled yellow highlighter all over my boarding pass and wouldn't give it back to me until I was finished with the screening. Ugh. The person conducting my special screening was a big black dude named Tyrone. When I gave him my ticket he gasps and bellowed out, "What did you do?!?!?" then burst out laughing. We had a little time to kill between me and the person in the security quarantine area so he filled me in on all of the airport security stuff since I had left the US - I got another refresher on the new carry-on liquids allowance. Finally my turn - shoes off, computer out, jacket off, arms spread, blah, blah, blah. I got the wand treatment from the female screener on duty and then had to open my stuff for swabbing. Finally I got my now bright yellow ticket back and was waved to an area to put all my stuff back together.

I had forgotten that O'Hare is actually just a huge shopping mall with airplanes. So I looked around, got a doughnut and bagel (extra cream cheese from the bagel guy because he was nice). I also had completely forgotten about sales tax, so both times I had my money all ready to pay and, whoops, surprise! Tax. I bet people thought that I was a foreigner, looking all around, staring at black people, speaking English a little too slowly for a native speaker, smiling at everyone, y'know.

Anyhow, I made way to my gate and had the misfortune of over hearing a conversation about why Snakes on a Plane was not a realistic situation. It was then that I had my first "it really sucks to be able to understand everything" moment.

Finally it was time for my final leg of my journey home. My last flight - a mere hour until I would be back home. One more hour after the 45 some odd hours it took me to get back to the US.

Home.

I got into the Minneapolis airport at night and walked down the concourse toward baggage claim - I saw an i-pod vending machine! And when I got to the baggage carousel, there were my parents to welcome me back home, complete with cheddar cheese goldfish crackers and Diet Dr. Pepper. Ahhhh...so good to finally be home!

Deja Vu

Have you ever had one of those days where you felt like you have already lived it before? Well I had one of those days, except, unfortunately I HAD lived it before. But there were some subtle differences like:

I was able to get my sweaty paws on the new Harry Potter book before it was released in the United States.

Everybody on my plane arrived at the airport at the same time.

400+ people got to cut in front of the line.

Everyone was slightly punchy and a little smelly.

Ahhh, my do it all over again day, Leaving China part deux. It went really smoothly! The airline did everything it could to make it as easy as possible for us to try it again. They paid for our hotel and transportation, gave us food vouchers and upon arrival at the check-in counter, they gave us each a "Friendship Package" - in other words, "My bad. Fill this out and we'll give you a free ticket so you don't hate us too much." All went good at the re-check in, they had to book me on a different airline for my trip from Chicago back to the Twin Cities, then we get to go through immigration and security AGAIN! Argh! The most tedious line waiting time of them all. I don't know how many times I had to listen to the new regulations regarding liquids you plan on carrying on the airplane.

This time I was stopped by security - do I have any liquids. No. Am I sure? Yes. Are I sure that I don't have any liquids? Ummm, wait!!! I pulled out my contact case that had the most miniscule amount of saline left in them. She looked at me and gave me the international "are you serious?" look and waved me through.

Right.

Next - computer out, pockets empty, walk though the arch. Done. At least in China I didn't have to take off my shoes. Then I found myself with some time to kill. Hmmm...I had spent all of my money the day before so I decided to try to see about spending my food vouchers. Hello Starbucks!

Okay, so blah, blah, blah, wasting time in the airport. Blah, blah, blah, reading Harry Potter. Blah, blah, blah, talking to some of the people on my plane to make sure we were all in the right place. Well eventually we all shared why we were in China. So I told my warm and fuzzy, I'm a volunteer exclaimation point story. After hearing that I hadn't been home in two years, they officially started the "Let's get The Unsinkable Molly Brown Home" club. Which didn't really have any actual benefits besides being able to cut in line and extra cake at meal times, but it was all good. I amused them with my tales about my time in China and they fed me cake. I think it was an equal trade off.

Right before we took off I overheard one of the air hostesses talking about the engine failure she said, "Yeah, I think they should just retire the 747. I mean, pieces of the planes are just falling off all of the time." -uncomfortable silence- "I mean, not this plane, this one has been checked over, but you know what I mean." Awesome. "Pieces of the planes are just falling off all of the time." What a nice little tidbit right before we take off.

When we took off there was a nice cheer as we took to the skies, again. I was happy that most of the people on the flight were pretty well humored about the situation and in a way it made us a more jovial bunch. We weren't holding hands and singing our faves from the Sound of Music or anything, it was just more friendly feeling. It was fun.

Friday, July 20, 2007

Q: What has 2 wings, 4 engines and 400+ happy people?

A: Not my 747!

Subtitle Choices:

Leaving China was so much fun, I thought that I would try it again!

OR

Oh, so that is what jet fuel looks like!

OR

I heart customs and immigration

The choice is up to you, my friends :)

Yup, I am back in Beijing, I guess just couldn't stay away!

So, I got to the airport okay, said goodbye to my students, got flooded with sweet goodbye text messages, got all checked in, paid my overweight bag charge (eek), went through the absolute joy that is know as immigration and finished spending my remaining kuai at the airport. Everything was going really smoothly! Like butter.

We all boarded and left basically on time. I was feeling really lucky as my row was one of only two which didn't not have the middle seat booked. So my row mate and I were able to spread out a little more and celebrated our "we have a little more airplane seat freedom" with a Trident gum toast. We took off and were on our way cruising through the sky at dusk. It was beautiful! We went over some mountains that looked all purple and misty, hard to describe just how enchanting it looked.

We were about 2 hours out of Beijing and I was just finishing up saying my mental goodbyes to the country that had been my home for the past two years and to the people who I have gotten to know and love when I was interrupted by the overly spastic dinging of the seat belt bell to get everyone back into their seats.

DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING!!!

-Crackle-

"Hello this is the captain. I am very disappointed to inform all of you that one of our engines has stopped working. I assure you that our other three engines are perfectly functional and we could definitely make the flight back to Chicago safely, but the responsible thing to do is to head back to Beijing and try it again. I apologize for all of this inconvenience and I am very disappointed that we will not be able to make the trip, but this is the most responsible thing to do. Please stick close to your seat and we will keep you updated as best and as often as we can. Thank you for your understanding and patience."

What?!? Engine out? Going back to Beijing?

Just them we get another announcement, that our plane will be diverted to a fuel dumping zone before we are able to land. Oh my god! I have never seen anything like it. When we were in the dumping zone over the mountains, there was some sort of spout-like thing on each wing that was opened and jet fuel just came streaming out. my seat was just behind the wing, so I got a really good view of all the exciting action. Well, exciting for about the first ten minutes of the 2+ hour dump time. We circled and circled the dumping area, getting rid of the fuel for the 12 hour flight. Then we head back to Beijing and circle around some more so they could clear a time for us to land. But we were served our meals, so I got to nosh on my specially prepared vegetarian meal while cruising over the mountains at sunset, dumping jet fuel. Awesome.

We land and then we wait.

and wait.

and wait.

and wait.

and wait, but this time without any air circulation.

As we wait, a team of mechanics rush out to the broken engine and immediately start to pull it apart. It just happen to be the engine right in front of me. Stinkin' defective engine.

Eventually, some people come around to get our information and give us vouchers for transportation, hotel and food. Then we get to exit the plane, but no slide :( and on to the super sexy transport buses back to the airport. Then, more waiting.

We officially have to reenter the country, so we get to go through immigration again, but this time in reverse. They had one desk open for us in the immigration area and got to get a special little light blue "Cancelled" stamp on the still fresh departure stamp.

Then, once again more waiting.

Now is the time we get on the buses to the hotel. All in all they did a great job with all of the last minute arrangements they had to make. I finally got all checked in my new room at 11 PM. I texted some kids I had promised to write to as soon as I got home and then was flooded once again with "what happened" messages. One of the good things to come out from the delay was that I was able to find the tastiest fried noodles I had ever eaten!

So, after some phone calls and such I went to bed and prepared for the same adventure the next day.

Leaving on a Jet Plane

All my bags are packed
I'm ready to go
I'm standin' here outside your door
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye
But the dawn is breakin'
It's early morn
The taxis waitin'
He's blowin' his horn
Already I'm so lonesome
I could die


...ahhh, John Denver. Nothing like a good John Denver song. I can't even begin to tell you how much classroom cred has been gained by belting out Country Roads in my classrooms!

So, I am leaving today!

I can't believe that it is finally time to go. Not exactly like, FINALLY! or even finally more like finally? As much as I have bitched and moaned about my time here (which all of you have been able to read about), it has also been filled with wonderful experiences (of which, I have managed to post a few). I can't believe that it is already time to go home. It is sad. I have been running through a bunch of emotions over the past weeks - everything from "Holy shit! I'm going home! Whoo-hoo!" to "Holy shit! I'm going home?" (proceeds to chew finger nails down to the knuckle).

Sad. Yeah sad. Go figure.

I didn't really expect to feel so sad. I mean, yeah, oh course it is sad to leave something that was my life for the past two years, but I just wasn't expecting to feel like part of me was really connected to all of the craziness that was my China. It is a little sad that this particular adventure is coming to an end. I will really miss my students, or at least the vast majority of them. They were truly the highlight of my time over here and made the experience so worth it to me. I have been able to meet so many wonderful, dynamic people over here, I am so lucky.

Excited.

Of course! I have been away from home for the past two years. And as much as I would have liked US life to cease to a halt while I was away, it hasn't. My friends, family and friends of the family have had marriages, kids, birthdays and other life things that I wasn't around for and wasn't able to be a part of. Oh, and to finally see my two little awesome chinchillas! It will be nice to be able to see everyone again and escape with my best girlfriends for a little long overdue fun!

Nervous and Scared.

I should add, "as hell" to the end of that. Starting over is always scary change is also a little scary. We will be coming back home basically destitute. No money, jobs or home. Geez, I'm feeling like a Bob Dylan song. What will happen next? It's a mystery. I know that this is also an exciting time too, but also scary. If anyone of you readers has an awesome job for me, I'm all ears :)

There is so much more that I just don't know how to express. And not all of that is due to the gradual vocab dumbening due to teaching oral English for the past 2 years. Going back to real English will be a little challenging as Chinglish has infiltrated my day to day vocabulary.

I have so many questions about what will come.

I am really glad that I did this. I will never regret giving up the time to go out and have this type of experience. And if I had the choice to do it all over again, I definitely would in a heart beat.

So...

I'm sure I will have more reflective time once I get back home. And I will post all of my moments both stupid and pretentious. But I have some students coming over to help me get to the airport on time with all of my stuff. Hey, I have been here for two years, I have a lot of stuff.

Wish me luck!

But, I'm leavin' on a jet plane
Don't know when I'll be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go