Leaving on a Jet Plane

All my bags are packed
I'm ready to go
I'm standin' here outside your door
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye
But the dawn is breakin'
It's early morn
The taxis waitin'
He's blowin' his horn
Already I'm so lonesome
I could die

...ahhh, John Denver. Nothing like a good John Denver song. I can't even begin to tell you how much classroom cred has been gained by belting out Country Roads in my classrooms!

So, I am leaving today!

I can't believe that it is finally time to go. Not exactly like, FINALLY! or even finally more like finally? As much as I have bitched and moaned about my time here (which all of you have been able to read about), it has also been filled with wonderful experiences (of which, I have managed to post a few). I can't believe that it is already time to go home. It is sad. I have been running through a bunch of emotions over the past weeks - everything from "Holy shit! I'm going home! Whoo-hoo!" to "Holy shit! I'm going home?" (proceeds to chew finger nails down to the knuckle).

Sad. Yeah sad. Go figure.

I didn't really expect to feel so sad. I mean, yeah, oh course it is sad to leave something that was my life for the past two years, but I just wasn't expecting to feel like part of me was really connected to all of the craziness that was my China. It is a little sad that this particular adventure is coming to an end. I will really miss my students, or at least the vast majority of them. They were truly the highlight of my time over here and made the experience so worth it to me. I have been able to meet so many wonderful, dynamic people over here, I am so lucky.

Excited.

Of course! I have been away from home for the past two years. And as much as I would have liked US life to cease to a halt while I was away, it hasn't. My friends, family and friends of the family have had marriages, kids, birthdays and other life things that I wasn't around for and wasn't able to be a part of. Oh, and to finally see my two little awesome chinchillas! It will be nice to be able to see everyone again and escape with my best girlfriends for a little long overdue fun!

Nervous and Scared.

I should add, "as hell" to the end of that. Starting over is always scary change is also a little scary. We will be coming back home basically destitute. No money, jobs or home. Geez, I'm feeling like a Bob Dylan song. What will happen next? It's a mystery. I know that this is also an exciting time too, but also scary. If anyone of you readers has an awesome job for me, I'm all ears :)

There is so much more that I just don't know how to express. And not all of that is due to the gradual vocab dumbening due to teaching oral English for the past 2 years. Going back to real English will be a little challenging as Chinglish has infiltrated my day to day vocabulary.

I have so many questions about what will come.

I am really glad that I did this. I will never regret giving up the time to go out and have this type of experience. And if I had the choice to do it all over again, I definitely would in a heart beat.

So...

I'm sure I will have more reflective time once I get back home. And I will post all of my moments both stupid and pretentious. But I have some students coming over to help me get to the airport on time with all of my stuff. Hey, I have been here for two years, I have a lot of stuff.

Wish me luck!

But, I'm leavin' on a jet plane
Don't know when I'll be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go