Step by Step...

No, not a NKOTB reference (that's New Kids on the Block for those of you not in the know).

This is basically a post dedicated to how inept I am when it comes to walking up and down stairs. Geez, I have managed to totally boff it going down the stairs on more occasions I care to admit to. I fully blame the little triangle step near the bottom of the staircase - it is at a bad angle and not wide enough for my entire foot on the side of the staircase I go down.

So, because of my bumpy past with the stairs I decided to go up really carefully. I had had problems going up in the past, but not to the extent of going down. So, carefully, so carefully I start my ascent. I am near the mid-way landing point and,

SPLAT!

HOLLER!

SWEAR!

SWEAR!

SWEAR!

I find myself curled up on the landing not able to actually get up. I landed a little weirdly on my thigh and shooting pain was now racing up and down my leg and back and I was oddly weak.

So, now I am limping all around like a gimp and my students are all worried, again (I enter the classroom to choruses of "Laoshi, you, hospital now!") When it snowed, I was escorted home by 8 students all grabbing hold of me in some manner or another to make sure I didn't slip on the snow. What a site it must have been to the locals who like sit on their front stoop to stare at the usual spectacle of me walking home with the kids! Today my SFS insisted on helping me down the stairs because he pointed out that there is no railing. Then one of my bigger kids grabbed my arm and had me ride side saddle on his bicycle (on the little rack on the back).

So far in Guyuan, I have found that my escalator skills are quite impressive and quite above par, but stair mastery has remained a mystery to me and I probably require a remedial 101 class. At least I am well taken care of by my kids whenever I do anything really stupid and usually embarrassing.

In the Past 24 Hours...

Well, more than that now that I am actually posting the message.

We have had:

Sunny, warm, 70+ degree temperature

Full blown sandstorm - made the sky a sickly yellow color

Sand-snow (before everything was wet, it was kinda snowing, but still sandstorming

Snow

Sleet

Snow with wicked wind

and,

Sam pantsed 12 people

Money to Burn

Well, it isn't real money, just special paper money to burn for festivals. Today, Matt and I were invited to go to a ceremony at a park where they have a memorial for the PLA soldiers who died serving their motherland.

We went out with 4 classes - chosen to represent their school, so they were very proud, two of Matt's and two of mine. Matt's 2 were his special classes - many are very poor, from the countryside and are attending Yi Zhong on a special scholarship, so they work really hard. The two senior classes I teach are the National Merit classes, meaning, they are damn smart kids. We were glad that we got to experience this special festival with these students.

We rode out to the event with one of Matt's classes - on the boy bus. They were fun! There was a little bit of a war between buses because some of the students wanted us on a different bus. So, Matt taught them 5 card draw and we were quizzed on our knowledge about the NBA and baseball. All in all, we know nothing.

We get out to the site and Matt was spotted by all of the hundreds of kids and the accompanying adults. He was getting his picture taken by both the obvious and the more stealthy individuals. He posed for many pictures with people we didn't know and there was a man with a camcorder who was just following him around for a little while, filming the white guy. It is pretty entertaining. Me jealous of the attention, hell no! I want a copy of the tape!

It was very interesting for us to witness and be a part of. Several students guided us around the area and translated everything for us so we could understand what was going on and what things were. Hopefully, I will have some pictures up tomorrow.

After the ceremony, we piled into a bus with my students and started the bumpy journey back. I had a very nice conversation with my kids and one of my best students told me some of the most heart warming things I have ever been told.

Eventually, we stopped off at a little place for the teachers to eat lunch. There was a mountain not too far away, so we went with the kids up the mountain. I must admit that the little journey up had a most inauspicious start. The initial bank down to get to the field plots was very steep and I tripped on my foot because I am so graceful, and took a nice dive. Oh well, klutzy.

So, Matt went off with some of his kids (I was still undecided about going up). I took some pictures of the area, including some of the caves houses. Eventually, I met up with some students who talked me into going up the mountain with them. One of our translators really helped me up - he actually was pulling me up some of the rises. It was fun - I was handed treats on the way up and they seemed to get a kick out of a teacher doing this with her students. They all got a good laugh out of my "You're half my age!" proclamation.

Anyhow, at the top we got a really nice view of the surrounding area and it was nice to be able to do make the climb with the students. Going down was, well, faster.... I got sapped by a number of trees I was aiming my body towards and was desperately grabbing hold of.

So, back to the flat land and back to the buses. We were waiting for the teachers to finish up their lunch only to find that they hadn't really started yet. We were not sure if they were waiting for us or not. We went inside of the restaurant to find them sitting around and talking and playing cards. They told us that our lunch has already been ordered. We get two bowls - one plain noodles, the other a good, spicy, noodle and mutton dish (you mix the two bowls together). From the other room there was quite a bit of interest in our chopstick abilities (they were peeking through the gap in the curtain).

Anyhow, after we left the restaurant, we got on to the bus with one of my favorite students (from Matt's classes) and we head for home. I have managed to miss all of my classes for the day (no word yet on if I am to make them up - I'll probably know at the last possible minute) and am quite dirty and tired, but really happy that we were able to spend this important day in China with so many of the students that we have come to love.

I Can't Believe I'm Doing This...

...I'm actually teaching the dreaded Macarena in class. Also, this brings about another equally disturbing realization for me: I actually remember the Macarena. Didn't have to Google it for the trip down the "not so great memory lane". I don't know what came over me. It just seemed like something I should do. That said, it is a riot! The kids get quite a kick out of it and seem to like to boogie down in the classroom and I am actually enjoying making them do it. Ahhh, power! Wha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

The most enthusiastic about it are the boys. Some have even climbed on top of their desks to shake it. They really like the hip swivel part of it - maybe too much as many a desk has been tipped over by too much hip action. When I call out that I need some people to help me do it up in the front of the room, little boy hands shoot up everywhere along with a chorus of "Teacher, me! Let me try please!". I have not yet been able to recruit a girl group to join me, but it is not for the lack of trying. I think I will be able to get some girls in my Thursday class.

On the walk home, I met my usual gang and we all went home together. Little Sam of course danced the Macarena the way home - except for when I had to hold him back so he wouldn't hit a girl who pushed/tripped him and caused him to scrape up his arm. This girl is probably the most irritating child that I have ever met. She won't leave me alone. She can't just walk near me, she has to suction herself to me and won't let go. She constantly interrupts me and the other chillins and now has taken up the hobby of taking things out of my bag and guffawing in my ear as loud as she can for no particular reason for a little attention. My little posse really doesn't like her (probably because she tries to physically hurt them so she can have my full undivided attention) and they try to shake her all the time. Today, My little Jack (one of the best English speakers in his year) just had enough of her and took off. We found him waiting at the corner for us after she turned off to cross the street. After that, we all shared some craisins and felt a lot better and were able to goof off like we normally do. We decided that this Sunday we are going to go fly a kite together and maybe go to the new little photo booth in town. I feel a little bad for Jenny because it doesn't really seem that she has a lot of friends, because well, she's down right annoying. Hopefully, she won't keep this up for very much longer. I guess I do have a bit of a history of picking up parasites in foreign countries. Mean, yes, I know.

Okay, enough of that. So, I have found myself doing all sorts of things that I would have never considered doing in the States. How low will I sink? What's next, the finer details of the Chicken Dance? Tune in next week.

EMERGENCY EVACUATION!

Just letting all of you know that we have to leave town for a couple of days - wait for things to simmer down with the rumored uprisings. We will be in e-contact when possible but can't promise anything...




















April Fool's!

Sorry, I couldn't help it.

It Tastes Like...

...well, like dirt!

Spring is coming in like a lion in Guyuan! The dust storms are picking up steam. Today we couldn't really see the sun. In China this isn't so unusual, but out here it is because of the dust and not that big city "haze". The kids have been a little depressed because of the weather, because of poor test results, because of boyfriends/girlfriends, blah, blah, blah. So tough being a teenager in the spring.

I have seen quite a few inventive plastic bag hats because of the blowing dirt. Also, there have been fewer street vendors out. I have taken up the practice of holding my breath and hoping that I won't get caught in a big gust of wind whenever I pass the pee nook. Tasting the gritty, earthy Guyuan air is one thing, but tasting very well used gritty, earthy Guyuan air is quite another.

They have decided to postpone the English competition because it was supposed to start tomorrow, but as of 4 PM this afternoon they still did not have a definite time or location yet. Planning. I won't comment anymore on this because it enrages my Excel Spreadsheet type of mentality.

Matt and I were talking about Chinese etiquette, or the lack there of. This conversation was sparked as we were walking out of the mall directly behind a couple of women. The mall had heavy plastic strips hanging in the door frames to block the wind/cold. We normally hold the strips back long enough for the next person to reach out and block them before getting hit in the face. However, this practice is not regarded by the general population. They just hold it open enough for them to pass through and don't care if you get hit in the face with the strips or poked in the eye by their hand.

So, this incident inspired a little conversation about etiquette. We have found that we are a little more rude than we were in the states. I consider the pushing more of a sport now (not exactly a fun sport though), and I don't feel guilty about not clearing my tray at the fast food places (we do it for kicks though, we are usually chased down by restaurant employees). Out here we have noticed that the key etiquette practice is not to show anger or discontentment. We got to thinking that all of this repressed anger and frustration might be fueling other behavior, mainly all of the damn pushing. An outlet to get out all of that internal rage. Just a theory.

I Do Not Like Green Egg and Ham...

But I love my little student named Sam. Sam is HILARIOUS! He is like the poster child for hyperactivity. I bet his parents are glad that I am here because I wear him out before he gets home. He's kind of like a puppy.

Last week, I wrote a little note on his paper (I write notes in bahasa so they can't understand). He asked me what it meant and I wouldn't tell him. At the end of class he kept on asking and asking and I wouldn't tell him. All of a sudden he unleashed a huge scream and ran out of the room and pouted in the hallway. Luckily, by the time we were to go home, he had forgotten about it and pranced with us all the way home.

Today in class I had the kids re-enact a scene with a thief, 2 witnesses and a police person. Sam really wanted to be the thief, but another boy in his group wound up getting it. So, Sam screams. Next, they present their version of the scene. The thief is fingered by the witnesses with a "Oh my god! Thief! Thief! Thief! Help! Police!" Sam (the policeman) came in saying "don't worry, I'll take care of him". So, Sam pulls down the thief's pants down and tackles him to the floor. Oh, Sam!

Also, we were thinking of different things people could do. Singing, eating, blah, blah, blah. Sam raised his hand, nicely and exclaimed, "Dancing, teacher Molly! Dancing! You know..." then proceeded to do a little strange hula dance while singing.

Okay, so now the walk home. I walk home with the same group of boys every Tuesday at the lunch break. It takes about 15 minutes from school to my apartment. In that time Sam managed to pants 9 kids. Run up and down the block 3 times. Run, skip and dance around me and two other boys about 26 times. He decided that he wanted to look in my bag and carry it for me. He tugged on my sleeve and said, "teacher, wo yao kan kan" (teacher, I want to have a look). So I let him have my bag. He puts the straps over his head and uses it like a feed bag for a horse. He trots around us making noises. Then he has us all stop so he can sing a little song and do a little wiggle dance. Then for the rest of the way he was jumping up and down saying, "Teacher! Teacher! He is a Horse Tiger! Horse Tiger! Horse Tiger!" Then he would circle around me skipping and running while singing "horse tiger, horse tiger!" My, oh my.

What will I do in Beijing without all of this entertainment?

Also, congratulations to the fabulous Sarah Goldfarb back from Europe with more than just vacation photos (nice rock, girl!) Best wishes and I want details!

Random

I haven't felt like posting much lately (or really doing much of anything) so here are some random things that I have for you from over the past couple of weeks. I have a pile of papers about a foot high that I need to enter, but haven't. Procrastination! Whoo-hoo!

The Senior 1 students were planting trees today, so Matt got the day off.

Drama club is going well, we went over Act 2 last session - the kissin' scene. It went over about as expected - lots of giggling. So, for now, it is a very heartfelt handshake. We'll have to work on that.

The expression that is popular right now is, "Oh my God!" My students have been trying to include it in every dialogue I have been having them practice. The winking has subsided - which makes me happy as it was, well, creepy.

Last week, I found myself breaking up fights - 3 fights in 1.5 hours. Two within 5 minutes. It is better if I do it as I don't really punish like the other do. Oh, if you can think of good English songs with pretty easy vocab, please post suggestions! I'm looking for everything from "Twinkle, twinkle, little star" to Pavoratti. So, please, suggest away!

I like to walk home with a little group of boys. Last week, they told me that they are afraid of their head teacher because he "boxes" them. Today, a bunch of them had to line up in front of his office to get palms slapped. At least it wasn't on the face this time. But I saw something more disturbing than the first kid hitting incident I wrote about a little while ago.

I saw one of my kids running out of an office, crying. A little later, the head teacher came running out after the kid. He went into the classroom during the eye exercises and started to hit him. Hard. It wasn't discipline. It was beating a child. It wasn't punishment. It was rage. I saw him hit the kid with a closed fist at least once. I couldn't see it all - I was trying to see what was going on through a little window on the door. But it went on for several minutes. It was rage. Full wind-up and contact. I told Matt about it to just to hash it out. A little later in the afternoon, Matt was having a conversation with our waiban and she brought up the subject of teachers hitting kids here. Coincidence? I think not. Yup, we're bugged.

Anyhow, I don't know what to do. I honestly did not think that I would find myself in this position here. I thought that there would be some cultural differences when it comes to classroom management, maybe some knuckle wrapping. But I really did not expect to be in this sort of moral battleground. Shit. I really don't know what to do. What is my place here?

Yinchuan Part 3

Hello -

I don't have too much to say right now. Last Friday we went to the big city again. We needed to find a couple of DVDs that we can't get here in Guyuan. Luckily, we were successful in our pursuit.

The trip up was a little nicer this time - they have just finished the interstate, so all smooth sailing up to the provincial cap.

Pretty uneventful this time. Matt didn't get a haircut or anything. Hey, what do you expect? Can't expect a party every where we go. This may be our last trip to Yinchuan. It is a nice city to escape to every now and then. We did a little shopping for some special stone only really available there - from the Helen Shan range. Had some fun in one of the local stores. The man who owned the shop said that Americans were not good (was laughing when he said it), but then said that Koreans were very, very good. I guess we came out even in the end with him. At least my Korean status probably helped us in not getting ripped off too badly. Most of the business was conducted through his wife. For whatever reason, I feel that I am fleeced less by the women - they don't bullshit as much as the guys do.

We also went to Napoli's for a Chinese version of pizza - the closest thing we can get in the province. It is pretty good but the crust tastes kinda sweet and there is no sauce. At least there is a lot of cheese. It is also a buffet which is nice. Really good pasta salad (Chinese, but good). We met some other foreigners there. It was strange to see so many white people all in one place! Matt and I find ourselves staring at the white folk, just as much as the Chinese stare at him! When we catch ourselves doing it we always start to laugh. I must admit, it is kind of fun to look at the whiteys. I always want to point at them all yell, "foreigner!" Anyhow, so we wound up talking to a younger couple teaching at the Liupan Middle School. She is from the Milwaukee area and he is originally from around Memphis (I think) but they both went to school in Minnesota. They were nice - it is always fun to practice our English with foreigners as it is deteriorating, quickly). Later we found out that the Liupan school is the arch rival of our middle school. The other school gets a lot of its students from Guyuan. It is also a special school and new. I guess they are allowed to recruit students from the other middle schools. So what they do is go to Guyuan at before the academic year and telephone all of the top students and offer them special incentives to go to there school. Because the school that I work for doesn't have the same arrangement, they cannot do this kind of recruitment. So, Liupan steals a lot of the best students.

Anyhow, it is strange, I am losing my English to a certain extent, but I can't really communicate in Chinese at all. Kind of stuck between communication worlds. Kinda sucks. Right now I am at the point where I find myself forming sentences in my head, using about 3 different languages - when I can't find the word in one lang. I just use a different one. Poor confused kids.

What else is gong on... Oh, there is an English competition coming up and many of my students are competing. I have been trying to help them where I can, but I refuse to do the work for them. Pronunciation help, yes. Writing an essay, no. Matt mentioned that the board of education may invite us to be guest judges. I wouldn't mind going to cheer on my students, but I don't feel right about judging. The other middle schools do not have foreign teachers and have not had any help with the preparation for the contest. But, things like fairness and such don't always have a real bearing on how things are conducted here.

Anyhow, I think the contest in on the 1st or April - I'll let you know what happens. I guess that is all for now. Ta-ta!

Uhhh...Anatomically Correct, Ahem, Ahem...

Hello - just a quick post before we head to Yinchuan (Matt’s students have exams and I don’t have a Friday class this week). So, hopefully we will be able to find a Romeo and Juliet DVD for our drama class. If I can’t, I might be asking one of you loyal readers to send me a copy.

So, teaching this week was interesting. In my Junior 1 classes, we were working on a lesson on animals. But, of course, nothing is easy or without its snaffoos. The kids had fun making up an animal and all that. But the difficulty that I ran into was in every class, without fail, was that each class asked me about a particular picture. A nice elephant family, mother, baby and father. The father was the one in the front of the picture, you how I know? Guess. Yup. As clear as day. None of my kids shied away from the opportunity to ask, “Teacher Molly, what is THAT in English?”

After a couple of classes went by I began to recognize the warning signs of when the dreaded anatomical question was going to be raised. First, a group of kids would start to giggle during conversation practice time, then the groups around the initial gigglers would start. Then, students would start elbowing each other until, the bravest student, usually a boy, would raise his hand and call me over, point to the picture and ask (after much more giggling). In all cases I just smiled and told them to ask their other English teacher. Which I doubt they would do.

I think that man parts and woman parts were very much on the minds of my kids this week. Many of the animal pictures had um...additions. Also, my Junior 2 classes made some interesting women robots last week. I guess spring is in the air?

Okay, enough of that. The wind is really starting to pick up. So kites have been going up. It is kinda fun watching the kids with their kites. I have been trying to spend a little more free time with them. They can be pretty cool.

What else...this week I observed a new game. It involves a group of boys, one will try to pull down another’s pants while the rest of the boys try to punch him in the nuts. This happened in the middle of one of the presentations in class. A boy was up presenting his dialogue to the class, suddenly, no pants. Then he was on the floor, groaning. Man oh man! I had to break up a couple of fights in the hall (better if I do it, I won’t hit them for it).

I got a nice ego boost this week (I think...the Chinese confuse me sometimes). I had some extra time on my hands, so I curled my hair and decided to wear my contacts. First, my kids were concerned that I lost or broke my glasses, after I told them about the contacts they were relieved. They all really liked the curls and played with them (sprong! Sprong! Sprong!) The teachers told me that I was much, much, much more beautiful than before (thanks, I think). And my students oohed and aahed whenever I walked into class. My girls would run up to me and say, “Miss Molly, you look so beautiful!” The boys would whisper something similar and run away or yell it down the hall and run away.

Yesterday, my SFS got an A+ for participation in class, so I was proud of him. I also got some good video of some of my kids playing in the hallway. After my Junior 2 Class 1 class (my favorite class) we usually walk home together (last class of the day). My SFS yelled down the stair well, “Miss Molly, I think you are very, very, very beautiful today!” Then he blushed and ran down the stairs to walk out with me. Then he said to me that he was very sorry and he forgot that it was my week to teach his class (I alternate weeks with another teacher) and that he took his bike to school. I said that I would wait for him to get his bike, he insisted that I go and he would try to catch up. Then he promised that next time we would walk home together. Cute.

Anyhow, off to Yinchuan! Talk to you all next week!

Women's Day, Shwemmin's Day

Whew!

The cheapskates at the school made my life a whole lot easier on Women's Day! They didn't want to shell out this year for a banquet for the women teachers. All of the teachers were very disappointed, all but me! Instead, I got a pen and flowers from the junior school and a cup from the senior school.

Some of my kids made me some sweet drawings, I tried to fly a kite with some of my kids (the activity crashed and burned, like the kite - power lines, yikes!) I also watched some of my other students play soccer. All in all it was a pretty laid back day! It was nice not to have to worry about another 3+ hour banquet. It is pretty hard to psych up for those - it might not have been so bad with just women (the likelihood of drinking games is pretty nil).

So, I still haven't quite figured out the whole winking thing and it seems to be spreading to some of my other classes. Cute but creepy! Last week, one of the other English teachers invited me to one of her English classes (my favorite Junior 2 Class). They had prepared little singing performances for Women's Day and were hoping that I would be able to come and watch. It was so sweet! All of the boys prepared a song for the teacher (and me!) None of the girls were really forced to sing like the boys were - I think that only one girl gave a performance. At the end of class, I was pressured to sing. Standing ovation and chanting. Geez. What to do, what to do. I went up to the front of the room and belted a very nervous rendition of "Killing Me Softly". The kids seemed to like it at least. After class, we all walked home together. Gotta love 'em.

Last Thursday Matt and I had our first meeting of our Drama Club. What is having a Drama Club meeting without a little drama ala administration. So, this is something that they had known about for over a week and we were told that a room had been all arranged, nothing to worry about. So, on the day of, there are over 100 kids lined up in the hallway, and whaddoyaknow? the door is locked. We wait, and wait, and wait. Finally our waiban said that they are getting the key to unlock the room. So, we wait, and wait and wait. Finally, we get word that we are moving shop to the library. So, we, Matt and I, 4 English teachers, waiban, and about 150 student make the pilgrimage to the library. We manage to interrupt all of the independent study going on there with our very loud and noticeable presence. Matt and I rip through the play (Romeo and Juliet) and the students are entertained. I hope that they aren't too scared off by the difficult language though. I guess we will see by how many show up this week.

Anyhow, nothing too exciting, but hey! I'm doing nothing - in CHINA! I am trying to play Bingo for dummies in my Junior 1 classes, and well, I don't think that they can handle prizes. We'll see. They just go nuts!

I guess that is all for now, talk to all you keen peeps later!

;-)

Yup, winky face.

Classes good and all that shiznit.

Today I was a little caught off guard by one of my classes. They learned about winking. At first, I didn't know what they were doing. Hands were waiving in the air to a chorus of "Teacher, me! Teacher me!" I called on a student and he or she would stand up and *wink* at me and go on to present their dialogue. It took me a little bit to figure out what they were up to. I was walking up and down the aisles while my little kids were winking at me. Strange. The funniest were the ones who didn't quite have it down yet - they would do the double eye close at me and smile. Funny - they first open their eyes really wide and hard shut their eyes for a couple of seconds. Then, open and smile.

Anyhow, tomorrow is Women's Day here in China. I was warned that there might be some "activities" I may be required to go to. I'm sure that it will inspire a post tomorrow. Feeling a long day coming on...wish me luck... and strength!

Mind Your P's and Q's

An article that Anjali (Nanjing vol.) sent out to all of us. Thought it was funny! Matt just had a class where he gave out candy at the end as a prize. Animals, I tell you! They ripped the bag he bought it in and stormed to podium. No self-control and total disregard for our things. Geez, China, this is why you can't have nice things!

China told to mind its manners

By Mary-Ann Toy, Beijing

February 25, 2006

The residents of Beijing are being urged to be on their best behaviour for the Olympics.

FOR Lu-Chin Mischke, an elegant Chinese woman who lived abroad for many years, life back in China is sometimes one long assault on her sensibilities.

A stroll in one of Beijing's lovely parks or temple complexes is a respite from the city's smog and traffic — until the first ear-splitting hawking up of phlegm lands too close for comfort. Then there's the mindless littering, the mobile phones ringing — and being answered — in cinemas, the flagrant disregard for traffic rules and the failure to queue.

Beijingers have a deserved reputation for being friendly and straightforward, but with the world descending here in 2008 for the Olympics, city leaders and fed-up citizens such as Mrs Mischke are campaigning to ensure their fellow citizens don't disgrace 5000 years of history with ill-timed belching, farting and spitting.

Mrs Mischke, who lived in the US and Japan for more than a decade, set up the not-for-profit Pride Institute last year to improve manners because she was tired of being embarrassed by Chinese lack of etiquette. "I want my kids to grow up and be proud of being Chinese," she says.

Since then she has personally, tactfully, told off more than a hundred offenders and held more than a dozen free seminars for the city's less-well-off to explain why spitting, using mobile phones indiscriminately, bad breath, body odour and treating the motherland as a garbage bin are unacceptable.

Mrs Mischke's seminars are free, helped by a growing number of enthusiastic volunteers. Her motivation is patriotism and the message is self-respect and self-discipline for a better society. She teaches people to make eye contact, smile and be considerate and friendly.

"I do not want people to associate Chinese people as being uncivilised," she says. "We Chinese are very proud of our long history, but where does it say that spitting or bad breath is part of our culture?"

Beijing's municipal government is also intensifying its efforts to improve behaviour through newspaper columns, cartoons and television commercials. The city has hired more than 3000 public transport attendants who will patrol bus stops and the subway to encourage queuing rather than the free-for-all that greets every overcrowded bus or train.

Almost 3 million etiquette handbooks are to be sent to households telling residents to stop belching, slurping or farting, especially while eating in public, or at least, to apologise if they do. And, to Mrs Mischke's horror, millions of "spit bags", left over after the severe acute respiratory syndrome epidemic, are being distributed with instructions on "civilised spitting".

But the biggest headache for Olympics organisers is spectator behaviour. Last year Beijing Mayor Wang Qishan admitted he was worried about how audiences would behave in 2008. Booing, swearing, ignoring play and talking on mobile phones are common. When the World Snooker China Open was held here last year, judges and foreign competitors were taken aback when audiences chatted on phones and took flash pictures during competition.

Shao Shiwei, the Olympic Organising Committee deputy director of media, said it was similar during the China Open tennis championships, with spectators walking around during matches and talking loudly.

An education campaign on audience etiquette followed, but in a city of close to 18 million people, of whom almost 5 million are migrant workers fresh from the countryside, eradicating bad manners is a challenge, he says.

Frosty Shame

A little earlier this week I had one of those "I can't believe I just said that" moments. I was in the middle of a lecture for one of my Junior 3 classes and I actually had to stop and laugh at myself, a lot. The kids were looking at each other, confused, wondering what exactly was wrong with their teacher.

We were discussion poetry - "Nothing Gold Can Stay" - Robert Frost. I wanted to get their opinions - which is difficult to do. So, I told them that they "...aren't required to like it, but are required to consider it." After saying that, I don't know what happened, I just couldn't go on. I finally figured out what I had just done, I quoted from Mona Lisa Smile. Yes. THAT movie. Oh, the shame!

The shame is 2-part: 1) that I quoted the movie AND recognized where the quote came from and 2) I have seen the movie, more than once. In my defense, movies are really inexpensive here so, well, we have acquired all levels of crap movies.

*Sigh*

Week two just about done. I was rushed at the podium the other day by a hurricane of little 12 year old boys. One of them told me that another student got the highest marks in his grade and that he should get a hug from me. I asked the boy if he wanted a hug because he did so well. The reply, "Yes, yes, oh yes!" Then, once that hug was completed, I was on the ground giving hugs to all of the kids. I now walk home from school with about 10-25 little boys three times a week (they wait for me outside of the school). Whoo-hoo! I have a posse!

The Downside of Vacation...

...is going back to work.

Remember school breaks? How nice it was to wake up late for weeks in a row? To do whatever you wanted until the last week when you would scramble to finish all of the homework you were supposed to do? It is always difficult to go back to work after any vacation, but even harder to go back after about a month off. Granted, being sick so often on vacation was not too great, but better than school.

Anyhow, back to it! We got our schedules about a day before we were to start teaching. The junior school decided to let me keep the same schedule as last term (more like they didn't want to go through the work of making a new one). All of this would have been nice to know ahead of time, especially since I have the same schedule. What is nice about my schedule is that they decided to move my senior classes to Monday afternoon, so I have every other Friday off. Hopefully I will be able to volunteer at the museum during this time.

I am still trying to get a couple of special classes, but I don't know if I will be able to push it through the administration. One very pleasant surprise is that I will be having my special junior three classes again. We might not be able to meet as regularly as last term, but at least I get to see them. I think that I will try to do some literature with them because their textbook is kinda lame.

On Valentine's Day, some of my kids were out selling roses. I heard a "Miss Molly, Miss Molly!" I turned around to see a couple of my Jr. 3 boys from my favorite section. They ran over to me and gave me five roses for Valentine's Day. I knew that they were trying to make a little money, so I tried to pay for them, but they said that they would not take my money and they wanted to give them to me because they missed me over vacation. How sweet are they?

Luckily, my first week of classes went by pretty quickly (I had Friday off so only two days of classes for me) and it was really good to see all of my kids again. I was greeted with warm smiles and applause whenever I walked into a classroom (both when I walked into the correct room or incorrect room). The kids I teach are really fantastic!

It Does a Body Good?

Hello -

I will post some more of the travel log a little later. Just wanted to let you know that I have been uploading some pictures onto my photo site - http://www.flickr.com/photos/theunsinkablemb and one of the other China volunteers (whoo-hoo Erin!) told me how to access my published blog pages - so comment away!

Anyhow, I don't think that I will be able to email my video clip of the pandas to you, so if any of you techies know of a good way, please let me know!

Today was the lantern festival in China. I think that it would have been pretty cool, but because of the fireworks, we were not able to enjoy it. People are really careless about firecrackers here. They light them and just toss them into a crowd of people, on to cars, etc. We thought that it would only be a matter of time before Matt would become one of the targets. And the Darwin award goes to...?

Oh yeah, for lunch today I had ramen and candy corn. Healthy, huh?

Later!

Welcome Home?

Back in Guyuan and they didn't really make it easy for us to be back, seriously. They locked our front gate for us and neglected to leave a key or unlock it for us so we could get in when we rolled into to town at 12:30AM. We did know that they were going to have a lock of some sort on our gate before we left, but we thought that they would make sure that we would be able to get in. Initially we told our waiban just for another padlock, but, noooo! She had to send someone over to look at the lock and replace it. Which he was not able to do. Matt just wanted a length of chain so we could use the lock we had. But, NOOOOOOO! We were told that we could wake the headmaster for the key. But, knock, knock, no one answered. Once again, just short of being helpful.

So, we had to go and get a hotel room here for the night. We went to Hong Bao (were we eat many meals. They hooked us up with a really nice and cheap room. In the morning we took full advantage of the nice, clean, new bathroom facilities. Then, we walked back to our apartment and went to get the key from the headmaster. We finally got into our courtyard only to find that they also changed the lock on our front door and did not let us know 1. That they changed that lock too 2. Why they changed the lock and 3. What they were doing inside our apartment while we were gone. We try both keys without luck.

I go back to the headmaster's house and call our waiban. She doesn't understand why we can't unlock our door and assumes that we (errr Matt) just don't know how to use a key correctly (that all of this is due to our incompetence - high tech those keys are) and sends someone over. The guy who eventually comes also cannot open the door with our key so he whips out his own key (what is he doing with a key?) and opens our door.

Finally we are in our apartment. We go into the bathroom only to find that our toilet has no water pressure and will not flush. We have to call our waiban again. 3 hours later we can finally go to the bathroom. Our waiban calls later and tells us that they had to "do something with the water" when we were gone, so what, they broke into our apartment, tinkered around so our toilet wouldn't work, replaced the lock on our door so we can't get in and then padlock the whole thing shut? She didn't even notify us about the front door or even mention it to us when we initially called and emailed - she just mentioned that maybe Matt wasn't using the key correctly. What kind of retard to you need to be to not be able to figure out how a key works? Especially since the six months leading up to this hadn't been a particular problem with that particular technology and/or skill. Jesus. She said that our neighbor heard our water. Yeah, right, they "heard" our water. Unless it was pouring out, there is no way they would be able to "hear" our water. I bet they just busted in to plant more bugs and look at our stuff. Once again, lying to us and just short of being helpful.

Anyhow, we don't have our class schedule yet or the new books for the coming term. So, we can't make a lesson plan or anything. They may or may not have a meeting on Monday for all of the teachers. So, school will start on Tuesday? Maybe? Nice job with the planning China!

Geez! Welcome back, right?

Soon the be the World's Biggest Toilet!

So, after the train ride we were in Chongqing. The next task was to get on a tour boat to see the gorges. We again, stashed our bags at the train station and set off for the CITS (China International Travel Service) office. We had the address and street name and took off in a cab to book our tour.

So, we get to the address, but ran into a problem. It certainly was a CITS office at one time as indicated by the faded sign but, it was no longer there. Our cab driver asked a couple of people and eventually found the right office. So, 10:30 AM we're there and ready to get our tour. So, we wait and wait and wait. The place is entirely empty. Finally, a couple of women came to the office and spent a good half hour talking to the guard. I decide to have a look around the office and see if there is anyone there. I ran into a nice man who was not able to help me in English, so he called another person to help me out. I quickly went to get Matt from the other room - I guess one of the women finally told him that the office would open at 2 PM. Matt and I get a couple of price quotes for a tour from the man in the back office and we decide to see what else was available down by the dock.

Our cab driver drives us directly to a tour company and escorts us in, they wound up being too expensive and did not have any first class cabins available. We visit some of the other tour companies on the same block. We notice that our cab driver is following us - if we book with him there, he gets a commission and we probably get over charged. So, eventually he gets the idea that we do not want him around and that he will not be making any money off of us so he leaves. This does not deter the other men though - their employment seems to be "accompanying" tourists into the offices (sometimes done on the sly - i.e. did not know we were being followed) or pushing them to go a certain place during the day and in the evening charging to carry luggage down to the boat.

We met with quite a few places but decided to go with an agency that said they could book us an air ticket from Yichang to Xi'an for on the day the boat docks. They also had first class rooms still available. Sold! Problem #1: They didn't accept credit cards. So we had to go to the bank and withdraw a couple of thousand in cash and go back to the agency. Problem #2: After all of the tour booking was done, they told us that they were unable to get us tickets to Xi'an from Yichang (the reason why we went with this company). They said that we would have to take a bus from Yichang to Wuhan (which we were trying to avoid) and fly from there. Problem #3: We are both not happy with this AT ALL. I am fuming. She informs us that the tickets from Wuhan will be more expensive than the Yichang tickets plus we will have to pay and additional 100 kuai per person for the bus to Wuhan. So, we empty our wallets to pay for these unexpected costs. At least with two pissed off foreigners in their office, they still managed to charge us their full booking fee amounts so they could make their full commission. Assholes.

So, I'm done with Chongqing. I just want to leave the city as soon as possible - luckily we were able to get onto a boat that would leave a little later that night. We read in the travel bible that we should get some food because the food on the boat is of varying quality and expensive. We went to go find a grocery store to pick some things up. The store was pretty decent - had an attached KFC (I had 4 containers of mashed potatoes) we were able to get some food and some awesome Skippy chocolate & peanut butter swirl peanut butter (also Ritz crackers!). But being that I was already feeling pretty Anti-China, I managed to find some frustrations at the store.

In the states you can shop leisurely or however you like. Not here. First, if you have a bag, you need to either A) leave it at the service desk or B) get a locked bag because it is assumed that people will steal stuff or something. What I have found, is that if I just start speaking English really really fast and appear agitated, I can go into the markets with my purse. Next, you go in, get your basket or cart, get run into by several people who don't even try to utilize all of the space around you, they just opt to head directly into you and bash you with their cart or basket. So, all of this before actually getting into the store, only to be find yourself to be constantly be followed around the store. They don't follow everybody, just (seemingly) foreigners. I don't know if any of you have ever been profiled when you set foot into a store, but it is humiliating and maddening to be followed like that, to be made to feel like they don't trust you and expect you to do something wrong (my beef with Burlington Coat Factory - apparently I fit the dangerous minority profile of theirs). They do not let you out of their site. I don't know for certain if it because we are foreign or what, but they stick to you like nothing else. Irritating.

Next, buying things. The Chinese supermarkets seems to have a special skill for inefficiency. I wanted to buy some batteries. So, I picked some up and put them into my basket and started to head off to do the rest of my shopping. Wrong. One of the employees grabbed me by the arm and briskly (dare I say forcibly?) whisked me to a counter to wait in a line. For certain items you need to pre-pay for them before you get to the main check out counters. Fed up with Chinese nonsense I tossed the batteries onto the floor and walked away. Childish, perhaps. Bad attitude, most certainly. Next shampoo. Matt and I were dirty and not the best smelling after all of the sick and travel. Same shit. Pre-pay. Because lord knows I get supreme kicks out of stealing shampoo. I just did not have the strength to deal with the crap, so Matt took care of the details. Finally we have all of the food stuffs for the boat trip and go to check out. It isn't enough that we have to go through all of the pre-pay BS, at the check out counter, she verifies that the receipt in valid (it's taped to the bottle, duh) and has to punch it with a special punch. On the way out of the store, you have to get a tick mark on your receipt to verify that you have paid of all of the items in your bags (ala Sam's Club).

After that, back to the train station to pick up our bags and then back to the travel agency to wait for when we can finally board the boat and leave the city. We had a bit of a wait, but it was nice to not have to interact with anyone except for the porters and the shoeshine men. Finally, time to board the boat. We walk down many stairs to the boat and check-in.

Our room at first glance is pretty decent. Two twin beds and our own bathroom complete with hot water and western toilet. The loud speaker in our room was blaring, but eventually would be shut off. We both settle in and one of the ship employees comes in to sell us a green tag. We politely say "no thanks", she leaves and we decide to go explore the boat a little bit. A little later, our tour guide comes down and tells us that in the lounge there is a program so we can meet some of the other passengers. We tell her that we will check it out in a little bit. When we did go there, there were about 4 people in the lounge singing karaoke - we quickly retreated to our room. The next task was to try to remove some of the grime that has built up on our bodies (i.e. we take showers). The shower made us both feel a lot better. We made our dinner (instant noodles) and bundled up to go to bed (or room was a brisk 49 degrees F). There was a knock at the door and a policeman comes waltzing in. He starts to speak to me in Chinese. Once it is clear that I have no idea what he is talking about, he tells us about boat safety in English. He is impressed with how much Koreans look like Chinese people and wishes us a nice trip.

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

We were quite rudely woken up by a very loud booming sound coming from upstairs - which we later found out was from a warped metal floor panel in the hallway right above our room. It made everything vibrate. With my sick stomach, the rocking of the boat and the vibration from the booming, my stomach just couldn't handle it. It was like being trapped in a giant steel drum. Oh, headache!

THE GREEN TAG

Oh man, did this piss me off like something fierce! We spent a lot of money per person for our first class room then they told us that we had to pay to get a pass in order to see the view of the gorges from the deck or from the tea room (had to pay just to get into the tea room). The pass wasn't cheap either. Making us pay to see a view, to see both banks at the same time. To hell with them. Just China trying to rip us off, again. (Insert swear combo here). At least we had a really nice view of one of the banks from our room. We got one pass which Matt used most of the time, but I just could not bring myself to buy another one. F-Green tag, blah!

We were both beginning to feel a little better and decided to get some food from the restaurant (which was very over-priced), me just some little harmless fried noodles, Matt some sweet and sour pork. Boy oh boy, did I pay for my noodles later that night. Again, more sickness, didn't taste like pumpkin this time, but the foulest tasting vomit I had ever had. I know, vomit is never a pleasant thing to taste, but this was bad, no really disgustingly bad. The kind where, the very taste makes you need to heave a whole lot more of the foulness out, only the taste keeps you needing to do it more and more, and on and on and on. The design of the bathroom did not allow me to pull a Dali in the sink. Nope. The sink drained directly into a trench on the floor. So, to puke in the sink, would mean that I would soon be surrounded by a moat of my own vomit. So, I had to alternate purging on and in the toilet. Tasty, huh?

So, eventually, back to bed, in a freezing room with the Chinese Blue Man Group beating on the floor directly above us. Sucked.

The scenery was nice, beautiful and all of that, but after you finish looking at the pretty scenery for HOURS, there really isn't too much else to do. Since I needed to stay by the bathroom, Matt went to go see Zhang Fei's Temple, but we docked at the site at night, so it was difficult to get any good pictures.

We both managed to control our bowels long enough to go out to see the Little Gorges. The best part was coasting by the Monkey Cove. Sweet little monkeys down by the water doing the important tasks that monkeys do. It was great! We stopped at a "market" - just another place to fleece the foreigners. We both decided to stay on the boat (didn't want to risk a bathroom emergency by changing postures). I'm glad that we did. There were two boys playing down by the water with plastic bottles. The bottles had a string tied to them and the string to a stick. They were playing battle boats with their bottles. It was very fun to watch. Then we stopped and made everyone get out of the boat. We boarded these little "traditional-ish" river boats and we went down one of the little tributaries. It was a joke. And not a very amusing one. We were crammed into a little boat, the driver would loan out his peasant garb to the tourists who then would pretend to steer the boat with a bamboo rod while making the peace sign to a flashing camera. The roof of the boat was really low, so you couldn't really see anything anyhow. They had people planted along the route to start playing the flute or to sing when the boat passed by. The best was a man paid to walk down a staircase while singing - I saw him walk down for the boat in front of us and then quickly run back up the stairs only to walk back down, singing, for when our boat passed by. They made us leave the boat for this??? How utterly lame!

Back to the boat. We watched some more of the scenery pass by - the Wu Gorge. Our last night was much like the others. Cold. Loud. We turned on the shower in hopes that the steam would heat up the room a little. Nope. So, after awhile we turned in to the sound of a big BAROOM! Over head about every 5 minutes and some bad karaoke singers warbling the Titanic song (just what you want to being thinking about before going to sleep on a boat, right?)

3:45 AM - We got a call from our tour guide. We will be docking in Yichang in about 1 hour. She told us to get off of the boat and catch the bus to Wuhan. Okay! I was glad to dock. We suited up and left the boat when we could. We walked up to where the buses were. But, what bus to take? We showed our receipt to many people only to be pointed in many wrong directions. Our tour guide was no where to be found. Great. We made sure to pre-pay for the shuttle to ensure that we would have a seat, now it looked like they were out to rip us off again as we would have to pay again to get onto a bus. We spent the next hour trying to find the right bus - asking all of the bus people where to go and showing them our receipt with no luck.

Finally, Matt decides to go back down to the boat to see if he could figure something out down there. 5 minutes after he left, a man came up to me and asked if what was written down on his pad was my name, I say yes and he pulls me to a bus. I tell him that my husband is down at the boat and that he is on the pad too. I ask a group of foreigners if they saw a tall white guy headed toward the boat. They said that they saw him as they were leaving the ship. I ask the guy to call the boat and tell the desk clerk to have Matt come back up. He calls the boat and asks them if the American is there, they say that there is no American. Finally, Matt comes back with a different tour guide that he found on the boat and we are able to hop onto the bus. But there is no room for our luggage. So we sit, jammed into our seats with my 30 pound pack on our laps for the 5 hour bus ride to Wuhan. For 4 of those hours I am holding in my diarrhea - the first hour was especially bad as the road was really bumpy and the hip strap is jamming me right in the sweet spot for an accident. Finally, we get to Wuhan and we are able to hop a cab out to the airport.

We had a long wait at the airport - about 8 hours, but I wanted to be close to a bathroom. The airport was not very nice, but was definitely better that both the boat and the bus. They had one western toilet, but it was very apparent that the people did not know how to use it as the seat was up and there was dirt (hopefully) smeared all over the rim - like people were climbing up on it to squat. At least it was there though. The flight was short (1.5 hours) and good, there was a friendly steward who translated all of his air duty speeches into English for our benefit.

Ahhh...lovely Xi'an!

In Xi'an we caught a bus to the city center and they took us to a really expensive hotel and the little tour/travel service there helped us get a room at another hotel for the "Chinese price" because I looked Chinese (the "look like Chinese discount") - they even shuttled us out there for free (and had the driver stick around to make sure that they honored the price). So, we got our room (out by the train station) and were very pleased with it - hot shower, soft beds, quiet room, the TV show "Friends" in English. We crashed.

The next day we got our train tickets for Guyuan - only hard seats were available though. Xi'an was great! We were able to eat McDonald's without getting sick (usually it works the other way around) and went to get some last chance pizza at Pizza Hut. Something about McDonald's and our stomach problems. After eating the food, we were a lot better, usually I feel a little sick after consuming the #1 with large fries and a coke but this time I felt really good. Either McDonald's American fare was just a welcome change from the oily noodles, or, the McFood created an internal environment so inhospitable in my stomach, that whatever was plaguing me could not survive. Hmmm.... At Pizza Hut, we ate as much as we could - pizza, fries, meatballs, potato salad. Oh so very good. I checked out the salad bar, but decided against it. There were a couple of boys there piling up a colossal salad. At many salad bars, you are only allowed one trip and a small bowl or plate. So, the people create these intricate salad sculptures to get as much as possible. The salad that they boys were putting together towered about 5 inches above the rim of the bowl. When they got it back to their table (next to ours) the salad tipped a little, soaking the hands of one of the boys with dressing. I laughed a little with all of them. When he came back he asked me, "Is it beautiful?" pointing to the salad while laughing. I gave some well-deserved applause for their creation. Pizza Hut is always a good place to go to instantly get into a better mood.

We also fit in a little shopping in the Muslim Quarter. I had some quality time with an old guy who makes wood block prints. He was great to talk with, he showed me all of his work, and publications he has been in. Also, some of his sketches. It was a great time - I got a pretty print of people picking jujubes. I love it! We also found a western food import store and got some necessities like cheese and tortilla chips.

The next afternoon we went back to pick up the cheese at the western food place. I thought that I should try to go to the bathroom before we head out to the train. We went to the bathroom that had a handicap stall (western toilet). I opened the door to the handicapped stall only to find a Chinese woman in there! At first the attendant wasn't going to let me use it. So, I just started speaking really fast and started to pull down my pants, when she finally let me stay in the stall. She then gave me a tutorial on how to use the toilet. Demonstrated that I was to sit, not squat and how to use the flusher. After the demo, she stood and watched me, not leaving. I pantomimed how to use the toilet and after I correctly flushed the toilet, she left me alone.

After the tutorial, we went to the train station to wait for our train. It was packed! It looked like they had extra police and military people there to help with the masses. We boarded for our 8 hour journey home.

Our car was packed! We were thinking about upgrading our tickets once on board, but once we got to our seats we could barely move. The hardseat is a padded bench that seats two people on one side of the car and three on the other side (two or three sets of people facing each other like a picnic table). Our side was benches for three. So, the six of us were crammed in there (imagine how squished Matt was, as the amount of room was a little small for even China size) with a lot of people standing in the aisle - you can buy a ticket to just get on the train, no seat, just standing for HOURS! It sucked but at least we had a seat. I completely lost the feeling in my left leg and arm.

Trying to get off of the train was a challenge. Our stop was around midnight, so we decided to gear up at 11:30 PM. People were sleeping in the seats, standing in the aisles, sitting and sleeping in the aisles every which way. With my pack on and carrying an extra bag I could barely fit through the aisles when they weren't so horribly obstructed. Needless to say, I woke just about everyone up on my way out, and probably whacked some people awake with a stray strap.

So home at last! Guyuan has never looked so good! To be continued....

PS - Read some of the Gorges Dam information sometime - could be the greatest environmental disaster of all time!

Old Lady Pushers

On a dark desert highway
Cool wind in my hair
Warm smell of colitas
Rising up through the air

Up ahead in the distance
I saw a shimmering light
My head grew heavy,
and my sight grew dim

I had to stop for the night
There she stood in the doorway
I heard the mission bell
And I was thinking to myself
This could be Heaven
or this could be Hell

Then she lit up a candle
And she showed me the way
There were voices down the corridor
I thought I heard them say

Welcome to the Hotel California
Such a lovely place
Such a lovely face
Plenty of room at the Hotel California
Any time of year
You can find it here ....

Hello from stoner central! We hopped a bus from Kunming to Dali - heard many tales about this city and thought we should check it out! Some of the other volunteers were here before our conference started and loved it, another English teacher we met raved about the "huge, beautiful pot plants" here.

The bus ride was pretty uneventful. Met a couple of other teachers and got some help getting a cab by a tri-lingual teacher living and working in Chongqing - he's from Lake Elmo, MN and speaks English, Mandarin and Cantonese fluently! Anyhow, we have met some really nice and helpful people along the way.

So, we walked down the main street of town and were instantly accosted by people trying to pull us in every direction. Old women with traditional head pieces on trying to sell us all kinds of tours, hotel rooms and, yup - "You wanna smoke the ganja?" Old ladies in traditional head dresses pushin' drugs. Kinda funny! All of this was a little overwhelming to have shoved in your face as soon as you set foot in town.

Eventually, a woman approached us and asked us if we would go to a certain guesthouse with her, since it was the one that we were going to anyhow, we decided that she might as well get the commission, as long as they didn't rip us off for the room. So, off we went to the exotic "Guesthouse No. 4". The room was really small and a little damp. The front desk quoted us the list price, but the guy showing us the room decided to jack up the price 30 kuai. We argued a little and wound back at the list - which was still high for the room, but we just wanted to unload and try to get our transportation arranged. The room wasn't too great, but had a rad (SaraQ's word) ceiling. It was wooden paneled in a checker board design with a really funky floral, painted rod iron light fixture. We had our own bathroom complete with plastic door with a big hole in it, scummy floor, leaky toilet that ran and a pipe sticking out of the wall for a shower. Oh well.

So, after we threw down the packs, we went out to explore the town. As soon as Matt got up onto the main street, he was mobbed by little old Bai women asking him if he wanted "to smoke the ganja" or they would just motion to him a little smoking gesture with their fingers. It was funny. I didn't get that sort of attention because people think that I am Chinese, which sometimes works to my advantage, sometimes not so much. But, we have found that the next best thing to being Chinese here, is being Korean. They love that I am Korean! They think that is hot shit! When ever I tell people that I a Hanguo Ren they smile really big and say, "Oh Hanguo Ren! You look like Chinese! Korea is a very great motherland", or something like that.

Anyhow, got a little sidetracked, where was I? Oh yes, pot. It sounds like many of the tourists come here to give the little Bai women some business. But, well, we're not really of that "scene". So, after a lot of "bu yao-ing" (don't want) we were off to arrange our trip to Chongqing and grab some grub (Matt was starving).

For lunch we went to a place called Marley's. We though that it was appropriately fitting with the atmosphere. Food, not Kunming great, but okay and strange. I decided on a veggie burger. We all know what those are like in the States - brownish-grey and kinda nutty (?), mine was a big bun with ketchup and strange rubbery cheese, lettuce, tomato and onion. Matt's real burger was a much more successful concoction.

After lunch, we found a little travel agency - Tom's Travel Agency (quite clever with the names, eh?) just up and across the street. They informed us that we would not be able to get a train from Dali to Chongqing, we would have to go back to Kunming to catch the train. Shit. We have to go back to Kunming. That was an unplanned leg to the trip. We decided to hash it out over some sweets from the Sweet Tooth just down the block.

The Sweet Tooth was a delightful place - great chocolate chip cookies (much better than the ones we had in Kunming that tasted like dog biscuits, and yes, I have tried dog biscuits) and pumpkin muffins (felt a little gypped this past autumn season). The bakery was nice and relaxing and unique - it is run by the deaf community in Dali. Cool that! So, we decided on a travel plan and went back to Tom's to have him book it for us. First, train to Kunming, then train to Chongqing. Done!

Now, we have some free time to explore the city - and the shops! We had a great time looking around and jumping out of the way for the firecrackers thrown stealthily on the main walkways. I had a hemp shirt tailored for me at a nice little shop. Dali is a pretty relaxing place, but not a whole lot to see. We went into a shop because on a sign outside of the door - it said that inside was not the usual tourist crap that you see everywhere else. Yup, it actually said that. It was one of the more unique shops there - antiques and what not. I fell in love with a silver bracelet there, but the price he quoted was just too high. For dinner, we went to a place called the Sunshine Cafe. We both had a Indian meal of sorts and a shared a most delectable brownie!

The next day we went by horse cart, then chairlift up Zhonghe Shan (Zhonghe Mountain). It was a fun ride up! The horse cart was fun - our little pony liked to go fast! I think that I enjoy heights (especially more than Matt) because I am so short. It feels good to be over the trees. Ahhh...power! At the landing there was a little temple with, yup, another painted plaster figure. We walked around the top a little bit, I saw a woman butcher 3 frogs, skewer baby chicks, fish and all other sorts of animal life for her BBQ. What I couldn't figure out was why she first cut off the frog's legs while it was still alive and then kill it? I guess it really isn't ease being green - sorry about your Chinese kin Kermie. After watching the creatures being killed, skewered and roasted, I was starting to feel a little green myself. We did a last sweep of the landing area before catching the chairlift back down. The view going down was really the best - seeing the city get closer and closer. I think Matt was happy to be finished with the chair lift.

After the Mountain we went to see the three pagodas - San Ta Si, so we started to walk out there - later we caught a horse cart to the site. The three pagodas looked really neat from the mountain. At the site of the pagodas, there were dozens of vendors who started to beckon us over as soon as we set foot in the area. We looked around a little bit and wound up leaving with some nice marble pieces. The admission for to see the pagodas was really high (over 50 kuai per person), so we consulted the travel books and decided not to go as the description of the actual pagoda grounds was not that interesting (more shopping stalls) and they mentioned that the pagodas were best seen from a distance. So, back to town!

After dropping off the marble at the guesthouse (nothing better than lugging around marble, let me tell you), we had the bargaining bug and set off to the markets, but first, lunch. We wound up at a nice little pizzeria called, Stella's Pizzeria. They had a wood fire oven and everything. It was great food and the cook was really fun to watch - she was a machine!

Also, because I'm a nerd, we went to the Dali Museum. It wasn't too great, and there were no English labels, but they had some interesting ceramic figurines and an interesting batik display. The most interesting/entertaining thing was seeing a old Chinese man (complete with plain blue "comrade" wear) walk into a gallery with a two and a half foot long, lit bong. He was casually strolling around, looking at the ceramics and taking hits from his huge, metal bong! After the excitement of the museum, we did another round at the Sweet Tooth - this time it was all about cinnamon rolls with cream cheese frosting and pumpkin pie! At the end of the day we wound up with a couple of batik cloth pieces, more marble, a wood carving and a pair of silver boxes. No silver bracelet.

After, the sweets, we headed back to drop off the marble. In the evening we went back out to see if they would come down on the bracelet. No luck. Back to the guesthouse. And, as we approached the busy turn off for our hotel I heard a "you want to smoke the ganja" and a very quick series of "bu yaos" from Matt.

So, back in the room with the checkerboard ceiling, I was beginning to feel a little "off". So, I decided to stay in for the rest of the evening. I flipped on the TV and channel warred with someone for the next two hours or so - the TVs were all linked together, so if you flipped the channel, it would change the channel on the other sets in the guesthouse.

A couple of hours later - OH MY GOD! I had to RUN to the bathroom. What happened next was something of such foul nastiness, I just don't want to relive it (this is for your benefit too). But, let's just say that I had to alternate between being sick on the toilet and puking in the sink. Miserable. I filled up the sink so fast that it couldn't drain fast enough - gross, huh? Every time I went back to bed, every time I would change my posture - back to the bathroom I ran. This went on for hours. Finally, there was just nothing left in me to come out, so I took a dose of Cipro and was at last able to settle down for a little bit.

The next day Matt negotiated a half day stay with the hotel so I could stay in bed as later we would be on a train to Kunming. He went off to get me some supplies - TP and water. When he got back he said, "Happy early Valentine's Day" and threw something on my bed. The bracelet! He was able to bargain it down a little bit and thought that it was something that I would always like having. What a guy, huh? He then took off to walk on top of the wall - he got some great pictures up there too.

I got some much needed sleep and fluids and later we set off for the Dali train station to go back to Kunming. We got to Kunming early in the morning and Matt was getting sick now too - not the puking part, the other part. So, we stayed close to the facilities for a bit and then stashed our bags and headed out to the French Cafe. We waited around and found that nothing was opening. Eventually, we went back to the train station (me very sad not to have a last sandwich) to wait for the train to Chongqing.

There is something about China and lines. They just can't do 'em. It's always chaos at the train station when they start taking tickets and boarding. First, there is a silent signal of some kind and everyone stands up. Then they all rush to the gate. Pushing, elbowing, shoving (the old ladies are the worst offenders - one planted a very determined elbow right into my gut and because I didn't move out of her way, she pushed me). Those of us in the semi-line are trying to block all of the line cutters and have no control over our feet as everyone behind is pushing forward. What a mess. No wonder why they need to call in the military to help with the crowds during the holidays.

So, I am throwing elbows and trying to swing my backpack as much as possible to block and hit people. Sick, tired and just plain fed up with all of this, I dig down and start to back-up against all of the pushers to give me a little space. Finally, I was able to get through the gate and we ran to the train - well as much as you can with a big travel pack strapped to you. There is limited space for bags on each car, so you have to get there fast if you don't want to sleep with your bag on your bunk. Success! We are the first in our cabin. We are able to throw down and store our bags under our bunks (bottom bunk for both of us).

So, off to Chongqing! The train ride was pretty uneventful. I got to visit to really dirty squatters many times - I think that the rocking motion of the train didn't help my cause much. Oh the joys of being sick on a 24 hour train! No more pumpkin pie for me (at least for a while).

Xin Nian Yu Kuai!

Ahhh...nice warm weather. Greetings from Kunming, China's "Spring City". This is certainly a nice and welcome change to the cold and dry climate in Guyuan.

We arrived on Sunday the 22nd, so we had a little time to look around the city before our conference began. It is nice here, but not a lot to do. We went to a Buddhist temple called Yuantong Si. We were fortunate to get there during the prayers. Quite enchanting - looking at the pond with the colorful koi and sunbathing turtles, just across is a quite typical but picturesque Chinese pavilion, colorful flags and lanterns strung up and blowing in the breeze, the scent of burning incense in the air all while listening to the chanting of the monks and nuns inside the main temple. Cool.

Once again we struck out with the Provincial Museum here (they informed us that it would be closed until July). So, we decided to explore the area a little bit and we wound up getting some Chinese styled shirts made at a tailor's shop - I got a couple of funny pictures of Matt being measured by a really tiny Chinese woman. We also were able to see the twin pagodas (Xisi Ta - West Pagoda and Dongsi Ta - East Pagoda), but other than to walk up and around them, not much to do.

We had a little more luck at the Kunming City Museum, well at least with it being open and still there. All in all the museum wasn't that great. The only thing of note was a large pink sandstone pillar with a carved Buddhist scene. Also, watching the little kids were sliding down the marble information panels surrounding the pillar was quite funny.

We also had some time to visit the Kunming Zoo. The zoo was utterly depressing. The grounds for the visitors were really nice and spacious and well landscaped, really thought out and comfortable for the visitor. Of only they put an once of that thought and consideration into the conditions for the animals. Miserable doesn't even begin to describe the dismal conditions for the animals there. The animals were in tiny cells with barely enough room to move around. Nothing for them to do in there besides sleep - just a cement prison for animals. We could get up real close only to see a very unhealthy animal (they allow guests to feed them) often missing patches of fur and with gunky eyes. Truly depressing.

The conference for our volunteer organization, VIA went really well. It was really interesting to learn about what the other volunteers had been doing at their posts. Also, it is just really nice to be able to speak to a bunch of people at a normal conversation rate and to use complete sentences. Matt and I learned that Guyuan has the most disgusting bread (tastes like dirt) and crisps (taste like grass) and the best crap for white elephant gifts. Our wonderful Program Director, Michelle, also brought some treats from the states which were consumed, quickly.

We visited some more westernish restaurants (getting our fill as Guyuan has none) - City Cafe (really good chocolate brownies with chocolate sauce and ice cream), French Cafe (imported ham and cheese sandwich and salami sandwich), Prague Cafe (super yummy BLT and floats) and Wei's Pizzeria (excellent double pepperoni pizza). Also found a to die for Chinese version of a chocolate croissant - flaky, slightly sweet outside, warm melted chocolate inside.

We also celebrated the Spring Festival (Chinese Lunar New Year) there with the gang. Not much happened, everything closed down on the eve. It was kind of eerie walking down the main streets and being the only people out - few cars, fewer people. Many spend the holiday with family, so much was closed. On the eve there was HOURS of firework shows and random explosions around the city. I guess that most people stay at home to watch the special New Year performances on TV. We tuned in for a little bit - some neat acrobatics and choreography, many of the songs were a strange combination about love, nature, and nationalism. Oh, there were skits too. It was all subtitled and summarized in English so we could understand what was going on. It was super! Super lame!

I was surprised to see that many kids still had all of their fingers. Seriously, the firecracker thing is a little careless. They would light them and just throw them - at people, at things, put them under things, etc. They would also light them and then fuss with the fuse, only to throw them just as they exploded. In Guyuan, kids would light firecrackers and toss them over walls, not knowing what or who was on the other side. In Dali older kids would light one and drop it on the ground in the middle of a crowed pedestrian mall and walk away, only to have it go off and scare the bejesus out of the casual strollers.

Anyhow, I'm writing this with all of my fingers still intact, for now at least....