Heartbroken

This past mini-week has been really difficult. I really didn't think that I would bond so much with these kids, but I guess that I did and now I have to leave them. So, me very sad.

They changed the exam schedule, so I had lessons Mon., Tues., and Wed. So, I ended my teaching at Guyuan Junior School with one of my favorite classes. It was good, but really, really sad. I don't think that I have ever really been sad about leaving a place and people before. And, for those of you who might be wondering, yes, I did cry and I'm comfortable telling you all that. :-)

My Monday Junior classes weren't too hard to leave as we have had a lot of difficult classes. But my seniors! Geez - those kids were so wonderful, I am so sad to be leaving them. Every week that I had class with them was such a great experience. I just want to bring them all home with me. Many of these kids come from the country side and are really poor and don't really have anything (some can't afford to call home more than once a year). But they are just the most caring and warm hearted kids. I just want to give them the world.

Tuesday was really difficult. I had to say goodbye to two of my favorite classes - one of my kids told me that he was really having a bad day because his best friend was moving to Yinchuan the following day and that this was his last class with me. He is normally a very happy, smiley kid but that day he was just slumped on his desk with his face in his arms. We walked home together and he said that he can't stand it (just learned that phrase in class) and that he had to hurry home so he could cry. The other class was the famous class 6 - the class with Sam. I have had so many great times with that class, I just don't know where to begin. All I can say is that China just won't be as happy without my weekly dose of my posse. I can't even begin to tell you how much I loved these two classes.

My last day was yesterday, Wednesday. I decided to write goodbye letters to all of my classes, so I delivered all of the notes to the English teachers so they could help with the translation. The morning was a half 'n' half. One good junior one class, one bad. I hated saying goodbye to all of my little girls in my junior one class one - they decided to make a bunch of copies of my letter because it was written by a "real" English speaker and they wanted to always keep the words of Ms. Molly.

Oh man, I dreaded the afternoon. Matt and Ms. Wang sat in on one of my classes - Matt caused quite a stir of excitement. Then I spent the recess period with some of my favorite students and said goodbye. Then, oh god, my LAST class - Junior 2 Class 1. This is probably the friendliest class that I have had - they were so welcoming when I first came here and I don't think that there is a more friendly kind-hearted group of children out there, well besides groups of my other students.

We did my lesson - a fun ASL lesson and EVERYONE participated, even the students who usually don't do a whole lot in class really enjoyed it. We had a great last class together and I held it together pretty well (although I did have to excuse myself once). At the end of class, I told them how much I loved being their teacher and they all stood up and applauded, did a deep bow and thanked me for being their teacher. I excused them from class and was swarmed by people wanting me to autograph things (books, papers, uniforms, skin) and write a little message to them and get a last hug. I started to tear up. This was followed by, "Please teacher, don't be sad." Which, of course, made me want to cry more. But, I was able to restrain.

I was writing a message to one of my SFSs and he blurted out, "I love you so much Miss Molly. I will love you everyday you are gone more and more until I see you again and then I will be happy again. I don't want you to ever leave me." Then, he gave me a huge hug and, well, tears. He then said, "Oh, Miss Molly, please don't cry. Because when you cry I feel very sad and I want to cry to. But if I cry, my friends will hit me." This kid always makes me smile.

The last student I said goodbye to was another one of my SFSs. He gave me his necklace. He told me it was one of his favorite things and that he has worn it everyday since he got it (it is a tag with his name, birthday, and blood type and a little charm). I told him that I couldn't possibly take it as it was something that he loves. I refuse, refuse, refuse. Then he told me that he really wanted me to have it because he loves it so much. He wanted me to know how much that he loves me by giving it to me and that I have to take it so he will feel happy - also, to know that in some way we will always be together and be friends. Then he put it in my hands and threw his arms around me. I just lost it and tears just started to pour out.

By the time I left school, it was pretty empty - all of my usual gang had already left. So, my SFS and I had a nice casual walk and talk home all alone. It was a perfect way to say goodbye to my experience at Guyuan Yi Zhong and Guyuan Wu Yuan middle schools and just what I needed.

I was thanked so many times for coming to China to be their teacher and for what I have done for them. But, I strongly feel that I should be thanking them for what they have given me as it is so much more than what I could have ever possibly given them.

To all of my students, I will miss you all so very much, all of your smiling faces, I will remember you always and I love you.