Soon the be the World's Biggest Toilet!

So, after the train ride we were in Chongqing. The next task was to get on a tour boat to see the gorges. We again, stashed our bags at the train station and set off for the CITS (China International Travel Service) office. We had the address and street name and took off in a cab to book our tour.

So, we get to the address, but ran into a problem. It certainly was a CITS office at one time as indicated by the faded sign but, it was no longer there. Our cab driver asked a couple of people and eventually found the right office. So, 10:30 AM we're there and ready to get our tour. So, we wait and wait and wait. The place is entirely empty. Finally, a couple of women came to the office and spent a good half hour talking to the guard. I decide to have a look around the office and see if there is anyone there. I ran into a nice man who was not able to help me in English, so he called another person to help me out. I quickly went to get Matt from the other room - I guess one of the women finally told him that the office would open at 2 PM. Matt and I get a couple of price quotes for a tour from the man in the back office and we decide to see what else was available down by the dock.

Our cab driver drives us directly to a tour company and escorts us in, they wound up being too expensive and did not have any first class cabins available. We visit some of the other tour companies on the same block. We notice that our cab driver is following us - if we book with him there, he gets a commission and we probably get over charged. So, eventually he gets the idea that we do not want him around and that he will not be making any money off of us so he leaves. This does not deter the other men though - their employment seems to be "accompanying" tourists into the offices (sometimes done on the sly - i.e. did not know we were being followed) or pushing them to go a certain place during the day and in the evening charging to carry luggage down to the boat.

We met with quite a few places but decided to go with an agency that said they could book us an air ticket from Yichang to Xi'an for on the day the boat docks. They also had first class rooms still available. Sold! Problem #1: They didn't accept credit cards. So we had to go to the bank and withdraw a couple of thousand in cash and go back to the agency. Problem #2: After all of the tour booking was done, they told us that they were unable to get us tickets to Xi'an from Yichang (the reason why we went with this company). They said that we would have to take a bus from Yichang to Wuhan (which we were trying to avoid) and fly from there. Problem #3: We are both not happy with this AT ALL. I am fuming. She informs us that the tickets from Wuhan will be more expensive than the Yichang tickets plus we will have to pay and additional 100 kuai per person for the bus to Wuhan. So, we empty our wallets to pay for these unexpected costs. At least with two pissed off foreigners in their office, they still managed to charge us their full booking fee amounts so they could make their full commission. Assholes.

So, I'm done with Chongqing. I just want to leave the city as soon as possible - luckily we were able to get onto a boat that would leave a little later that night. We read in the travel bible that we should get some food because the food on the boat is of varying quality and expensive. We went to go find a grocery store to pick some things up. The store was pretty decent - had an attached KFC (I had 4 containers of mashed potatoes) we were able to get some food and some awesome Skippy chocolate & peanut butter swirl peanut butter (also Ritz crackers!). But being that I was already feeling pretty Anti-China, I managed to find some frustrations at the store.

In the states you can shop leisurely or however you like. Not here. First, if you have a bag, you need to either A) leave it at the service desk or B) get a locked bag because it is assumed that people will steal stuff or something. What I have found, is that if I just start speaking English really really fast and appear agitated, I can go into the markets with my purse. Next, you go in, get your basket or cart, get run into by several people who don't even try to utilize all of the space around you, they just opt to head directly into you and bash you with their cart or basket. So, all of this before actually getting into the store, only to be find yourself to be constantly be followed around the store. They don't follow everybody, just (seemingly) foreigners. I don't know if any of you have ever been profiled when you set foot into a store, but it is humiliating and maddening to be followed like that, to be made to feel like they don't trust you and expect you to do something wrong (my beef with Burlington Coat Factory - apparently I fit the dangerous minority profile of theirs). They do not let you out of their site. I don't know for certain if it because we are foreign or what, but they stick to you like nothing else. Irritating.

Next, buying things. The Chinese supermarkets seems to have a special skill for inefficiency. I wanted to buy some batteries. So, I picked some up and put them into my basket and started to head off to do the rest of my shopping. Wrong. One of the employees grabbed me by the arm and briskly (dare I say forcibly?) whisked me to a counter to wait in a line. For certain items you need to pre-pay for them before you get to the main check out counters. Fed up with Chinese nonsense I tossed the batteries onto the floor and walked away. Childish, perhaps. Bad attitude, most certainly. Next shampoo. Matt and I were dirty and not the best smelling after all of the sick and travel. Same shit. Pre-pay. Because lord knows I get supreme kicks out of stealing shampoo. I just did not have the strength to deal with the crap, so Matt took care of the details. Finally we have all of the food stuffs for the boat trip and go to check out. It isn't enough that we have to go through all of the pre-pay BS, at the check out counter, she verifies that the receipt in valid (it's taped to the bottle, duh) and has to punch it with a special punch. On the way out of the store, you have to get a tick mark on your receipt to verify that you have paid of all of the items in your bags (ala Sam's Club).

After that, back to the train station to pick up our bags and then back to the travel agency to wait for when we can finally board the boat and leave the city. We had a bit of a wait, but it was nice to not have to interact with anyone except for the porters and the shoeshine men. Finally, time to board the boat. We walk down many stairs to the boat and check-in.

Our room at first glance is pretty decent. Two twin beds and our own bathroom complete with hot water and western toilet. The loud speaker in our room was blaring, but eventually would be shut off. We both settle in and one of the ship employees comes in to sell us a green tag. We politely say "no thanks", she leaves and we decide to go explore the boat a little bit. A little later, our tour guide comes down and tells us that in the lounge there is a program so we can meet some of the other passengers. We tell her that we will check it out in a little bit. When we did go there, there were about 4 people in the lounge singing karaoke - we quickly retreated to our room. The next task was to try to remove some of the grime that has built up on our bodies (i.e. we take showers). The shower made us both feel a lot better. We made our dinner (instant noodles) and bundled up to go to bed (or room was a brisk 49 degrees F). There was a knock at the door and a policeman comes waltzing in. He starts to speak to me in Chinese. Once it is clear that I have no idea what he is talking about, he tells us about boat safety in English. He is impressed with how much Koreans look like Chinese people and wishes us a nice trip.

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

We were quite rudely woken up by a very loud booming sound coming from upstairs - which we later found out was from a warped metal floor panel in the hallway right above our room. It made everything vibrate. With my sick stomach, the rocking of the boat and the vibration from the booming, my stomach just couldn't handle it. It was like being trapped in a giant steel drum. Oh, headache!

THE GREEN TAG

Oh man, did this piss me off like something fierce! We spent a lot of money per person for our first class room then they told us that we had to pay to get a pass in order to see the view of the gorges from the deck or from the tea room (had to pay just to get into the tea room). The pass wasn't cheap either. Making us pay to see a view, to see both banks at the same time. To hell with them. Just China trying to rip us off, again. (Insert swear combo here). At least we had a really nice view of one of the banks from our room. We got one pass which Matt used most of the time, but I just could not bring myself to buy another one. F-Green tag, blah!

We were both beginning to feel a little better and decided to get some food from the restaurant (which was very over-priced), me just some little harmless fried noodles, Matt some sweet and sour pork. Boy oh boy, did I pay for my noodles later that night. Again, more sickness, didn't taste like pumpkin this time, but the foulest tasting vomit I had ever had. I know, vomit is never a pleasant thing to taste, but this was bad, no really disgustingly bad. The kind where, the very taste makes you need to heave a whole lot more of the foulness out, only the taste keeps you needing to do it more and more, and on and on and on. The design of the bathroom did not allow me to pull a Dali in the sink. Nope. The sink drained directly into a trench on the floor. So, to puke in the sink, would mean that I would soon be surrounded by a moat of my own vomit. So, I had to alternate purging on and in the toilet. Tasty, huh?

So, eventually, back to bed, in a freezing room with the Chinese Blue Man Group beating on the floor directly above us. Sucked.

The scenery was nice, beautiful and all of that, but after you finish looking at the pretty scenery for HOURS, there really isn't too much else to do. Since I needed to stay by the bathroom, Matt went to go see Zhang Fei's Temple, but we docked at the site at night, so it was difficult to get any good pictures.

We both managed to control our bowels long enough to go out to see the Little Gorges. The best part was coasting by the Monkey Cove. Sweet little monkeys down by the water doing the important tasks that monkeys do. It was great! We stopped at a "market" - just another place to fleece the foreigners. We both decided to stay on the boat (didn't want to risk a bathroom emergency by changing postures). I'm glad that we did. There were two boys playing down by the water with plastic bottles. The bottles had a string tied to them and the string to a stick. They were playing battle boats with their bottles. It was very fun to watch. Then we stopped and made everyone get out of the boat. We boarded these little "traditional-ish" river boats and we went down one of the little tributaries. It was a joke. And not a very amusing one. We were crammed into a little boat, the driver would loan out his peasant garb to the tourists who then would pretend to steer the boat with a bamboo rod while making the peace sign to a flashing camera. The roof of the boat was really low, so you couldn't really see anything anyhow. They had people planted along the route to start playing the flute or to sing when the boat passed by. The best was a man paid to walk down a staircase while singing - I saw him walk down for the boat in front of us and then quickly run back up the stairs only to walk back down, singing, for when our boat passed by. They made us leave the boat for this??? How utterly lame!

Back to the boat. We watched some more of the scenery pass by - the Wu Gorge. Our last night was much like the others. Cold. Loud. We turned on the shower in hopes that the steam would heat up the room a little. Nope. So, after awhile we turned in to the sound of a big BAROOM! Over head about every 5 minutes and some bad karaoke singers warbling the Titanic song (just what you want to being thinking about before going to sleep on a boat, right?)

3:45 AM - We got a call from our tour guide. We will be docking in Yichang in about 1 hour. She told us to get off of the boat and catch the bus to Wuhan. Okay! I was glad to dock. We suited up and left the boat when we could. We walked up to where the buses were. But, what bus to take? We showed our receipt to many people only to be pointed in many wrong directions. Our tour guide was no where to be found. Great. We made sure to pre-pay for the shuttle to ensure that we would have a seat, now it looked like they were out to rip us off again as we would have to pay again to get onto a bus. We spent the next hour trying to find the right bus - asking all of the bus people where to go and showing them our receipt with no luck.

Finally, Matt decides to go back down to the boat to see if he could figure something out down there. 5 minutes after he left, a man came up to me and asked if what was written down on his pad was my name, I say yes and he pulls me to a bus. I tell him that my husband is down at the boat and that he is on the pad too. I ask a group of foreigners if they saw a tall white guy headed toward the boat. They said that they saw him as they were leaving the ship. I ask the guy to call the boat and tell the desk clerk to have Matt come back up. He calls the boat and asks them if the American is there, they say that there is no American. Finally, Matt comes back with a different tour guide that he found on the boat and we are able to hop onto the bus. But there is no room for our luggage. So we sit, jammed into our seats with my 30 pound pack on our laps for the 5 hour bus ride to Wuhan. For 4 of those hours I am holding in my diarrhea - the first hour was especially bad as the road was really bumpy and the hip strap is jamming me right in the sweet spot for an accident. Finally, we get to Wuhan and we are able to hop a cab out to the airport.

We had a long wait at the airport - about 8 hours, but I wanted to be close to a bathroom. The airport was not very nice, but was definitely better that both the boat and the bus. They had one western toilet, but it was very apparent that the people did not know how to use it as the seat was up and there was dirt (hopefully) smeared all over the rim - like people were climbing up on it to squat. At least it was there though. The flight was short (1.5 hours) and good, there was a friendly steward who translated all of his air duty speeches into English for our benefit.

Ahhh...lovely Xi'an!

In Xi'an we caught a bus to the city center and they took us to a really expensive hotel and the little tour/travel service there helped us get a room at another hotel for the "Chinese price" because I looked Chinese (the "look like Chinese discount") - they even shuttled us out there for free (and had the driver stick around to make sure that they honored the price). So, we got our room (out by the train station) and were very pleased with it - hot shower, soft beds, quiet room, the TV show "Friends" in English. We crashed.

The next day we got our train tickets for Guyuan - only hard seats were available though. Xi'an was great! We were able to eat McDonald's without getting sick (usually it works the other way around) and went to get some last chance pizza at Pizza Hut. Something about McDonald's and our stomach problems. After eating the food, we were a lot better, usually I feel a little sick after consuming the #1 with large fries and a coke but this time I felt really good. Either McDonald's American fare was just a welcome change from the oily noodles, or, the McFood created an internal environment so inhospitable in my stomach, that whatever was plaguing me could not survive. Hmmm.... At Pizza Hut, we ate as much as we could - pizza, fries, meatballs, potato salad. Oh so very good. I checked out the salad bar, but decided against it. There were a couple of boys there piling up a colossal salad. At many salad bars, you are only allowed one trip and a small bowl or plate. So, the people create these intricate salad sculptures to get as much as possible. The salad that they boys were putting together towered about 5 inches above the rim of the bowl. When they got it back to their table (next to ours) the salad tipped a little, soaking the hands of one of the boys with dressing. I laughed a little with all of them. When he came back he asked me, "Is it beautiful?" pointing to the salad while laughing. I gave some well-deserved applause for their creation. Pizza Hut is always a good place to go to instantly get into a better mood.

We also fit in a little shopping in the Muslim Quarter. I had some quality time with an old guy who makes wood block prints. He was great to talk with, he showed me all of his work, and publications he has been in. Also, some of his sketches. It was a great time - I got a pretty print of people picking jujubes. I love it! We also found a western food import store and got some necessities like cheese and tortilla chips.

The next afternoon we went back to pick up the cheese at the western food place. I thought that I should try to go to the bathroom before we head out to the train. We went to the bathroom that had a handicap stall (western toilet). I opened the door to the handicapped stall only to find a Chinese woman in there! At first the attendant wasn't going to let me use it. So, I just started speaking really fast and started to pull down my pants, when she finally let me stay in the stall. She then gave me a tutorial on how to use the toilet. Demonstrated that I was to sit, not squat and how to use the flusher. After the demo, she stood and watched me, not leaving. I pantomimed how to use the toilet and after I correctly flushed the toilet, she left me alone.

After the tutorial, we went to the train station to wait for our train. It was packed! It looked like they had extra police and military people there to help with the masses. We boarded for our 8 hour journey home.

Our car was packed! We were thinking about upgrading our tickets once on board, but once we got to our seats we could barely move. The hardseat is a padded bench that seats two people on one side of the car and three on the other side (two or three sets of people facing each other like a picnic table). Our side was benches for three. So, the six of us were crammed in there (imagine how squished Matt was, as the amount of room was a little small for even China size) with a lot of people standing in the aisle - you can buy a ticket to just get on the train, no seat, just standing for HOURS! It sucked but at least we had a seat. I completely lost the feeling in my left leg and arm.

Trying to get off of the train was a challenge. Our stop was around midnight, so we decided to gear up at 11:30 PM. People were sleeping in the seats, standing in the aisles, sitting and sleeping in the aisles every which way. With my pack on and carrying an extra bag I could barely fit through the aisles when they weren't so horribly obstructed. Needless to say, I woke just about everyone up on my way out, and probably whacked some people awake with a stray strap.

So home at last! Guyuan has never looked so good! To be continued....

PS - Read some of the Gorges Dam information sometime - could be the greatest environmental disaster of all time!