Old Lady Pushers

On a dark desert highway
Cool wind in my hair
Warm smell of colitas
Rising up through the air

Up ahead in the distance
I saw a shimmering light
My head grew heavy,
and my sight grew dim

I had to stop for the night
There she stood in the doorway
I heard the mission bell
And I was thinking to myself
This could be Heaven
or this could be Hell

Then she lit up a candle
And she showed me the way
There were voices down the corridor
I thought I heard them say

Welcome to the Hotel California
Such a lovely place
Such a lovely face
Plenty of room at the Hotel California
Any time of year
You can find it here ....

Hello from stoner central! We hopped a bus from Kunming to Dali - heard many tales about this city and thought we should check it out! Some of the other volunteers were here before our conference started and loved it, another English teacher we met raved about the "huge, beautiful pot plants" here.

The bus ride was pretty uneventful. Met a couple of other teachers and got some help getting a cab by a tri-lingual teacher living and working in Chongqing - he's from Lake Elmo, MN and speaks English, Mandarin and Cantonese fluently! Anyhow, we have met some really nice and helpful people along the way.

So, we walked down the main street of town and were instantly accosted by people trying to pull us in every direction. Old women with traditional head pieces on trying to sell us all kinds of tours, hotel rooms and, yup - "You wanna smoke the ganja?" Old ladies in traditional head dresses pushin' drugs. Kinda funny! All of this was a little overwhelming to have shoved in your face as soon as you set foot in town.

Eventually, a woman approached us and asked us if we would go to a certain guesthouse with her, since it was the one that we were going to anyhow, we decided that she might as well get the commission, as long as they didn't rip us off for the room. So, off we went to the exotic "Guesthouse No. 4". The room was really small and a little damp. The front desk quoted us the list price, but the guy showing us the room decided to jack up the price 30 kuai. We argued a little and wound back at the list - which was still high for the room, but we just wanted to unload and try to get our transportation arranged. The room wasn't too great, but had a rad (SaraQ's word) ceiling. It was wooden paneled in a checker board design with a really funky floral, painted rod iron light fixture. We had our own bathroom complete with plastic door with a big hole in it, scummy floor, leaky toilet that ran and a pipe sticking out of the wall for a shower. Oh well.

So, after we threw down the packs, we went out to explore the town. As soon as Matt got up onto the main street, he was mobbed by little old Bai women asking him if he wanted "to smoke the ganja" or they would just motion to him a little smoking gesture with their fingers. It was funny. I didn't get that sort of attention because people think that I am Chinese, which sometimes works to my advantage, sometimes not so much. But, we have found that the next best thing to being Chinese here, is being Korean. They love that I am Korean! They think that is hot shit! When ever I tell people that I a Hanguo Ren they smile really big and say, "Oh Hanguo Ren! You look like Chinese! Korea is a very great motherland", or something like that.

Anyhow, got a little sidetracked, where was I? Oh yes, pot. It sounds like many of the tourists come here to give the little Bai women some business. But, well, we're not really of that "scene". So, after a lot of "bu yao-ing" (don't want) we were off to arrange our trip to Chongqing and grab some grub (Matt was starving).

For lunch we went to a place called Marley's. We though that it was appropriately fitting with the atmosphere. Food, not Kunming great, but okay and strange. I decided on a veggie burger. We all know what those are like in the States - brownish-grey and kinda nutty (?), mine was a big bun with ketchup and strange rubbery cheese, lettuce, tomato and onion. Matt's real burger was a much more successful concoction.

After lunch, we found a little travel agency - Tom's Travel Agency (quite clever with the names, eh?) just up and across the street. They informed us that we would not be able to get a train from Dali to Chongqing, we would have to go back to Kunming to catch the train. Shit. We have to go back to Kunming. That was an unplanned leg to the trip. We decided to hash it out over some sweets from the Sweet Tooth just down the block.

The Sweet Tooth was a delightful place - great chocolate chip cookies (much better than the ones we had in Kunming that tasted like dog biscuits, and yes, I have tried dog biscuits) and pumpkin muffins (felt a little gypped this past autumn season). The bakery was nice and relaxing and unique - it is run by the deaf community in Dali. Cool that! So, we decided on a travel plan and went back to Tom's to have him book it for us. First, train to Kunming, then train to Chongqing. Done!

Now, we have some free time to explore the city - and the shops! We had a great time looking around and jumping out of the way for the firecrackers thrown stealthily on the main walkways. I had a hemp shirt tailored for me at a nice little shop. Dali is a pretty relaxing place, but not a whole lot to see. We went into a shop because on a sign outside of the door - it said that inside was not the usual tourist crap that you see everywhere else. Yup, it actually said that. It was one of the more unique shops there - antiques and what not. I fell in love with a silver bracelet there, but the price he quoted was just too high. For dinner, we went to a place called the Sunshine Cafe. We both had a Indian meal of sorts and a shared a most delectable brownie!

The next day we went by horse cart, then chairlift up Zhonghe Shan (Zhonghe Mountain). It was a fun ride up! The horse cart was fun - our little pony liked to go fast! I think that I enjoy heights (especially more than Matt) because I am so short. It feels good to be over the trees. Ahhh...power! At the landing there was a little temple with, yup, another painted plaster figure. We walked around the top a little bit, I saw a woman butcher 3 frogs, skewer baby chicks, fish and all other sorts of animal life for her BBQ. What I couldn't figure out was why she first cut off the frog's legs while it was still alive and then kill it? I guess it really isn't ease being green - sorry about your Chinese kin Kermie. After watching the creatures being killed, skewered and roasted, I was starting to feel a little green myself. We did a last sweep of the landing area before catching the chairlift back down. The view going down was really the best - seeing the city get closer and closer. I think Matt was happy to be finished with the chair lift.

After the Mountain we went to see the three pagodas - San Ta Si, so we started to walk out there - later we caught a horse cart to the site. The three pagodas looked really neat from the mountain. At the site of the pagodas, there were dozens of vendors who started to beckon us over as soon as we set foot in the area. We looked around a little bit and wound up leaving with some nice marble pieces. The admission for to see the pagodas was really high (over 50 kuai per person), so we consulted the travel books and decided not to go as the description of the actual pagoda grounds was not that interesting (more shopping stalls) and they mentioned that the pagodas were best seen from a distance. So, back to town!

After dropping off the marble at the guesthouse (nothing better than lugging around marble, let me tell you), we had the bargaining bug and set off to the markets, but first, lunch. We wound up at a nice little pizzeria called, Stella's Pizzeria. They had a wood fire oven and everything. It was great food and the cook was really fun to watch - she was a machine!

Also, because I'm a nerd, we went to the Dali Museum. It wasn't too great, and there were no English labels, but they had some interesting ceramic figurines and an interesting batik display. The most interesting/entertaining thing was seeing a old Chinese man (complete with plain blue "comrade" wear) walk into a gallery with a two and a half foot long, lit bong. He was casually strolling around, looking at the ceramics and taking hits from his huge, metal bong! After the excitement of the museum, we did another round at the Sweet Tooth - this time it was all about cinnamon rolls with cream cheese frosting and pumpkin pie! At the end of the day we wound up with a couple of batik cloth pieces, more marble, a wood carving and a pair of silver boxes. No silver bracelet.

After, the sweets, we headed back to drop off the marble. In the evening we went back out to see if they would come down on the bracelet. No luck. Back to the guesthouse. And, as we approached the busy turn off for our hotel I heard a "you want to smoke the ganja" and a very quick series of "bu yaos" from Matt.

So, back in the room with the checkerboard ceiling, I was beginning to feel a little "off". So, I decided to stay in for the rest of the evening. I flipped on the TV and channel warred with someone for the next two hours or so - the TVs were all linked together, so if you flipped the channel, it would change the channel on the other sets in the guesthouse.

A couple of hours later - OH MY GOD! I had to RUN to the bathroom. What happened next was something of such foul nastiness, I just don't want to relive it (this is for your benefit too). But, let's just say that I had to alternate between being sick on the toilet and puking in the sink. Miserable. I filled up the sink so fast that it couldn't drain fast enough - gross, huh? Every time I went back to bed, every time I would change my posture - back to the bathroom I ran. This went on for hours. Finally, there was just nothing left in me to come out, so I took a dose of Cipro and was at last able to settle down for a little bit.

The next day Matt negotiated a half day stay with the hotel so I could stay in bed as later we would be on a train to Kunming. He went off to get me some supplies - TP and water. When he got back he said, "Happy early Valentine's Day" and threw something on my bed. The bracelet! He was able to bargain it down a little bit and thought that it was something that I would always like having. What a guy, huh? He then took off to walk on top of the wall - he got some great pictures up there too.

I got some much needed sleep and fluids and later we set off for the Dali train station to go back to Kunming. We got to Kunming early in the morning and Matt was getting sick now too - not the puking part, the other part. So, we stayed close to the facilities for a bit and then stashed our bags and headed out to the French Cafe. We waited around and found that nothing was opening. Eventually, we went back to the train station (me very sad not to have a last sandwich) to wait for the train to Chongqing.

There is something about China and lines. They just can't do 'em. It's always chaos at the train station when they start taking tickets and boarding. First, there is a silent signal of some kind and everyone stands up. Then they all rush to the gate. Pushing, elbowing, shoving (the old ladies are the worst offenders - one planted a very determined elbow right into my gut and because I didn't move out of her way, she pushed me). Those of us in the semi-line are trying to block all of the line cutters and have no control over our feet as everyone behind is pushing forward. What a mess. No wonder why they need to call in the military to help with the crowds during the holidays.

So, I am throwing elbows and trying to swing my backpack as much as possible to block and hit people. Sick, tired and just plain fed up with all of this, I dig down and start to back-up against all of the pushers to give me a little space. Finally, I was able to get through the gate and we ran to the train - well as much as you can with a big travel pack strapped to you. There is limited space for bags on each car, so you have to get there fast if you don't want to sleep with your bag on your bunk. Success! We are the first in our cabin. We are able to throw down and store our bags under our bunks (bottom bunk for both of us).

So, off to Chongqing! The train ride was pretty uneventful. I got to visit to really dirty squatters many times - I think that the rocking motion of the train didn't help my cause much. Oh the joys of being sick on a 24 hour train! No more pumpkin pie for me (at least for a while).