Egads, Dude!

T-minus 10 days and counting....

I am actually really, really sad to be leaving Guyuan.

Of course, there are some things that I really won't miss. And, lucky for you, this is a post about one of those things.

Mr. Horse - AKA Math Dude.

Seriously, dude, what's your deal?

Today, I wrapped up things with two more classes (junior two this time, not as tear filled, as I didn't really get to know these kids quite as well). Mr. Horse is the head teacher for one of these classes. I wanted to have the time to be with my students, take some pictures and wrap up the final exam. And, well...

Okay, inhale, getting a little ahead of myself.

I posted a little while ago, after the English competition, that I was afraid that things were going to start up again after that most unfortunate dinner I was duped into with him and another couple of teachers. Well, I'm not happy about being right about things this time.

To recap, the English competition dinner: Confused English about being happy about the students' success and wanting to celebrate. Me thinky - "ooh! Student dinner - fun, fun." Reality: dinner with Horse and another teacher who I don't know. Back story - I had already refused an apology "sit" with Horse ("sit" - a smoke screen that meant dinner).

It is fairly obvious to me, at least, that I put out nothing but a toxic vibe when around him. I think others notice this as well. But he just doesn't GET IT. The big "IT". The big "Stay away from me, I can't stand your presence" or more bluntly, "F-off" type of thing. Seriously, I don't think that I could be more blatant with my attitude or body language than if I flat out said, "Dude, I hate you. Go away. Now."

Alright, now that we have my general comportment on record, let's take a trip down memory lane, shall we? Since the dinner that I really didn't want to be at, he now thinks that I have "forgiven him" for his drunk-ass behavior from October and worse yet, that I am his friend. I honestly, do not know what would possible give him that idea.

So, besides just the routine annoyance of having him seek me out in the common areas of the school, having him dismiss students I am playing with and such, he has brought his game to a whole new irritating level.

So, he has this book called, "Crazy English". He has decided to catch me and interrupt me no matter what I am doing to have me try to explain to him what certain phrases in this book mean. The phrases are usually "hand picked" and of a certain theme. Like: "Oh, you are such a sweet man!" and "what a sweetheart" and something that was the equivalent of "that dress is hot" and the like. Yeah, cherry picked phrases so he can make example sentences with the convenient characters of Ms. Molly and Mr. Horse.

Crrreepy!

The headmaster for the junior school decided to throw a special dinner for all of the junior teachers. All of the junior 1 teachers were in one room and all of the junior 2 teachers were in another. So, I went to dine with all of the junior 1 teachers. Enter Mr. Horse - Junior 2 teacher. The only junior 2 teacher in the room. We thought that he would only be staying for a little while and then retire to the other room. Nope. He stayed. Stayed for the whole dinner. Other teachers made fun of him - "why are you here?" and "go to your room, get out of here!" Nope. He stayed. Sat right across from me. Yup. Stared at me the whole entire dinner. It not only made me feel uncomfortable, but also the other teachers at the table. At the first opportunity for me to leave, one of the English teachers grabbed me and said, "You should leave now". So I am rushed out with the Horse nipping at my heels.

So, fast forward to about 4 weeks ago. I had started to give his class my final exam. It is a talking exam (how else to test spoken English). So, I was taking students in pairs out into the hallway to give them the test. Suddenly, the students stop talking and start gaping. I look up from my stool to find Horse looming over me holding ice cream over my head. I don't know how long he had been there or what, but, I mean, what the hell...? I told him that I really didn't need the ice cream but he insisted. Rather than dragging it out DURING MY CLASS TIME, I accepted it so he would get lost. Nope. Instead, he starts to comment on how he thought that he thought that I must be hot and that he thought that I looked tired, blah blah blah. Finally, I told him that I really must work and that I need him to leave so I can test his students. So, he said that he would come find me after class so we can talk during the free period. Like hell! I slip away down the back staircase as soon as class lets out.

Now, let's jump to last Friday. So, I had written about these mad exams that the kids take to get into University, well the Junior 3 students take one to get into Senior School. So, now that the test is over, they must all be corrected and my school was chosen to be one of the test correction sites. What does this mean? It means that they emptied out the top two floors of the Junior building to accommodate all of the teachers from various schools coming to check the test. Which also meant my office. We had to move all of our stuff down to an office on the second floor. The Junior 2 floor. The Junior 2 office. Mr. Horse's office. *Shudder* He brightly announced that I could share his desk, which was approved despite my protests. Great. Luckily, he was called in to help correct the tests, so I wouldn't have to share space, but I still didn't spend a lot of time around the vicinity for his frequent "check-ins".

Now, last weekend. I was supposed to meet some kids last Saturday at the Junior School. I was a little early so, I waited and helped some of the junior 1 kids get ready for their talent show. I didn't really think that many teachers would be at the school, outside of the Junior 1 teachers. Wrong. Yup. Mr. Horse. He cornered me and when I excused myself he always managed to find me again shortly after. Finally, he asked when I would be leaving Guyuan. So I told him. He then said that he wants to have a special goodbye dinner for his American friend. I told him that it was not necessary. But, sometimes, talking to the Chinese people that I have met here is really more like talking to a Chinese wall (hmmm... walls, something that the Chinese really excel at). So he continued. I continued to refuse. I tried the too busy, not enough time shtick on and on and on. Finally, he relented. I talked my way out of it! Whoo-hoo! Triumph!

I was able to watch my kids perform in peace. A side note: It was strange to look at the packed auditorium, filled with kids and think that I teach them all. That sea of people in front of me - I see each one every week.

Anyhow, back to the story.

Tuesday - I have been going to school during their open period to give my test to those who want to get it over with and, well, to play with the kids on the playground. Which I have found is quite the oddity to the guest teachers correcting exams. They are all puzzled by this "look like Chinese" foreigner, wearing strange clothing, big earrings and playing with kids. So, I am going to leave for the day when one of my fellow English teachers says, "oh you're leaving? I thought that we would walk to Mr. Horse's dinner together." Me, "WHAT!?!?!" She, "Mr. Horse says that we are having a dinner tonight". I tell her that I didn't know anything about it and that I was just too busy to possibly go.

Meanwhile at the bat cave...err...apartment...

Matt gets a call from one of the Senior English teachers who we like. We both know that he was planning some kind of farewell dinner for us and the other English teachers. So, Mr. King invites out to a goodbye dinner. Matt accepts, thinking that this is the dinner. He is told to meet Mr. King out by the Senior gate in about 10 minutes. So, as I am walking home, I meet Matt on the way. He tells me about the farewell dinner with Mr. King. I swear loudly, robustly and with feeling. This is Mr. Horse! This is the dinner that I told him that we were just too busy for. So, knowing that I am refusing, he goes around and pulls this shit. I am furious! I wind up going for only an hour because I needed to go and grade papers. I am so angry I won't even look at him the entire dinner. The next day my English teacher friend wanted to talk about a little to comment on how strange the whole thing was.

Alright, now today.

I am barely in the office, but today I happen to be in there for about a total of 15 minutes. I see Mr. Horse 7 times.

This afternoon. I am early, so I wait in the hall and talk to kids before the next class begins. Mr. Horse is lurking about. I retreat to a different floor. Then, when the bells rings, I go to class. Safe! So, I bring some students out into the hall to give my final. I am in the middle of giving a test and up comes Mr. Horse. He gives me a canned coffee drink and wants to talk. Geez! What is up with this dip shit? Excuse my language. I have seriously censored my usual usage of colorful language for the purposes of this blog, but I am seriously pissed off with this man and "dip shit" is truly the nicest set of words I can manage right now.

I get him to leave and finish up (for the most part) with the exam. I tell my class "goodbye" and leave. As I leave the room, I see Mr. Horse heading down the hall toward me. I run down the staircase and retreat to the playground.

Oh yes, today he reeked of alcohol.

The photo?

This is the gift his "class" gave to me on Teacher's Day. I think that it is an accurate representation of our relationship. One horse trying to run away from the one following it. Or at least that it how I see it.

Well, shit. I'm tired.

What are they doing?

What are they doing?

Watch the video

Just thought that I would capture one of the more entertaining things for me to watch on my Tuesdays (well, other than Sam dancing). Between my 3rd and 4th period classes, the kids have an extended passing time to clean the classrooms and do these "eye exercises".

I love watching them do this to no end. One time they showed me what to do so I could do it with them, but everyone was laughing so hard it wasn't very successful. Usually I just peek into the classroom while they are doing them and they will try to wave while rubbing the eye area, and yes, they do wind up poking themselves in the eyes.

The video is a little long and a little bumpy (I was walking around recording), so watch what you can - and follow along!

Yi...er...san...si...wu...liu...!

Entertainment?

Just a blickie (blog quickie) -

Today it was actually raining hard here, which is really needed as the region is in serious drought.

and...

...my umbrella was a source of entertainment for 20 minutes.

My kids have never used a push button operated umbrella before. They also played with it all the way home.

More pictures on flickr - soonish.

Hard Core English!

More testing today. I am really surprised that so many kids have been coming during their free period. I mean, when I was their age, taking a test would be the last thing that I would want to do when I don't have class. In the past two days, I have tested over 160 kids.

Some highlights from today's testing:

The English teachers have all been really impressed with the kids listening comprehension and speaking abilities. Today, one of the Junior 3 teachers said that her students were not able to answer similar oral questions as well as the kids that I have been working with.

Students have been passing along the information that the Timberwolves are my hometown basketball team, so some of the boys all wore Timberwolves jerseys and made a little English song about basketball, my team, me, and English.

Some of my Junior 3 girls came up to see me (it was their last day of school). We had a really excellent chat. It was good to see them again as I probably won't see them again.

A boy from my junior 1 class 3 (boy pictured above) came in with a bandaged head and a big 4 inch, bloody gash on his head. He was in the hospital or something and got his parents to bring him back to school just to take my English test at an optional test time. I told him to go home and I would test him during his class time next week. But he said that he wanted to see me so he came. So, part of the conversation was the question, "how's it going?" he pointed at his head and replied, "just so-so". I'd say! He said that he was hit with something.

Last, after I finished testing another student, I told him that he did a very good job and he threw his arms around me and I gave him a big hug. The other teachers started to laugh and applaud. He got embarrassed and ran out of the office. When I left, he was outside waiting for me and said, "thank you teacher!" before running down the stairs.

I guess that is all for today. Tomorrow morning I have a brunch with some of the kids from my class 5. They are really excited about it, they have been visiting me at school to remind me and emailing me about it. Then, in the afternoon, I am climbing the hill with some more kids from class 6 (wish me luck, I don't think that I will be able to race up like they will want to).

Nauseating Fun

So, I am finally getting around to writing about last weekend, now that this weekend is almost here. I have been busy giving my final exams. It has been going okay - the kids cheat like crazy though. But more on that later.

Last weekend...Matt and I went out for lunch with some of my students from my lovely class 6 (junior 1). We went to have hotpot and then went to a new arcade at the mall. After, we all went to the park. It was fun! We took out some paddle boats and the boys acted exactly as 12 year olds boys should act. Also, we took a ride in some bumper cars - Matt and my car quickly turned into the target car to hit. Then, well, the nausea. There was much discussion leading up to the event. The result? We all wound up boarding one of those ship rides that rocks back and forth and arcs higher and higher until you want to puke. I was never too keen on those kinds of rides in my youth - more of a twirling ride kinda gal than a fast drop ride kind of gal. So, you can only imagine how the ride went over in my 20+ year older self. Yeah, exactly. I think that my kids forget that I am more than twice their age.

Anyhow, it was fun to hang out with some of my favorite students and will do so again this coming weekend.

So the finals. They cheat. Bad. But I guess that it doesn't really matter as our grades don't really count anyhow. Which brings me back to: why am I giving an exam exactly?

I have been speaking to each student individually to get an idea of their conversation abilities. But, the kids are upset that I am leaving and some of the sessions have been full of tears (mostly theirs). It is getting really difficult as some of them have been pleading with me to stay. It will be a hard few weeks as I have inadvertently become the adoptive sister to about 700 kids give or take. Many of my girls have taken my first name as their English name and many of my boys have started to use my surname on papers (and not just on papers for my class).

What else...I have been encouraging my students to come to the English office to take their spoken test during their free period so we can have a fun class at the end. So about 60 students showed up today. It was fun! I got to weave in and out of J1 and J2 conversations and later one of the teachers told me that her J2 students (who I only see every other week) were envious of my J1 students (who I get to see every week) because the J1s could speak and comprehend at my (very close to) normal speaking rate and they could not. They were really, really shocked that the J1s speaking ability was so much higher than theirs. She then told me that she thought that my classes were the reason. Whoo-hoo! Yes, I'm telling you this to brag.

Hmmm...I brought my Polaroid camera to school (thanks, Jerry!). Man did that go over big! I was mobbed. Not exaggerating. I chose one student to man the camera and then took photos with tons of kids. One of the students then showed the picture with me to his head teacher (one of the English teachers). She said that he ran over to her after class and said "Teacher, teacher I want to show you a photo, please wait for me to get it!" Then he ran and pulled out the Polaroid and exclaimed, "This is me and Miss Molly! Look how happy my face is - I can't believe it!” :-) I just don't think that University students can even begin to compete with the cuteness. *sigh* I will miss my 800 kids.

Nail Biting

The National Exam is over!

I can hear the loud music and singing from the probable celebrations as I type this. This is the exam, the one that they all prepare for throughout their pre-university schooling. It's crazy!

The exam takes place over three days. All of the other senior students are excused from classes and are actually barred from entering the school grounds (unless they live in the dorms). The street in front of the school is blocked (so there is no traffic noise) with a police person standing watch to make sure no one sneaks through. The gate is locked except for when they let students in and out (or for the curious foreign teacher wandering around).

Parents take the testing days off and wait outside of the gate. There were small crowds of people all squatting on the sidewalk outside of the school, waiting for their child to finish the test. Everyone is tense. Just walking through the campus was eerie. No noise. None. At all.

Things were even quiet on the Junior campus - even they recognize the seriousness of The Test. The children were doing all of the things they generally do out on the playground, but not really making any noise. Spooky. Really spooky.

Anyhow, the test is now over and now they wait for the results - dwell on the test and over think what they did wrong. I hope there aren't any suicides. That would be horrible. I am worried about one of the students Matt and I had conversation practice with. These kids have so much stress - more than I ever had at their age. They prematurely go grey because of the stress. I am thinking about bringing up the idea of peer counseling to our waiban. When given the opportunity to talk about problems, they are startling open about what they are feeling and want to talk about whatever is on their minds, but they really do not have the opportunity to do so.

Anyhow, The Test is now done. The Junior 3 test to get into Senior School is coming up next (they only get one crack at that test).

Article about THE TEST

In China, students failing the stress test
Teenager’s suicide underscores concerns about student worry over exams

Associated Press
Updated: 7:46 p.m. ET June 7, 2006

SHANGHAI, China - A teenager’s suicide after being barred from a key high school exam for not tying back her hair underscores the intense pressure on millions of Chinese who began taking annual college entrance tests Wednesday.

Worries are rising about academic stress. There are 2.6 million places at China’s universities, but the competition is fierce — 9.5 million youths are taking the three-day exams that are widely viewed as crucial to career and financial success.
Although 16-year-old Wu Wenwen’s suicide occurred in January, during high school end-of-term tests, it is resonating during this week’s college exams.

According to her family and newspaper accounts, Wenwen drowned herself after she was stopped at the exam room door because her hair wasn’t tied back as her school required.
She returned in barrettes, but was told the exam had started and she was too late to take it. Wenwen phoned her mother in tears, and then disappeared. Her body was found that night in a nearby lake.

As in Japan and South Korea, schooling in China has become a nail-bitingly stressful ordeal for children and parents alike, one that experts say causes undue emotional distress.

“Pressure from study and exams is a top reason for psychological problems among Chinese youth,” said Jin Wuguan, director of the Youth Psychological Counseling Center at Shanghai’s Ruijin Hospital.

Parents even murdered
In China’s increasingly success-oriented cities, academic stress is seen as a rising cause of youth suicides and even murders of parents by children unhinged by overwhelming pressure to perform.

China doesn’t keep comprehensive statistics on student suicides, but Jin said health care professionals see the problem worsening, even among elementary students.
Most Chinese schools still lack counselors and teachers receive little training in spotting emotional distress, Jin said. Parents are little help, often piling on pressure while ignoring their children’s emotional development, he said.

“It’s a basic unwillingness or inability to recognize and deal with emotional problems,” Jin said.

Wang Yufeng, at Peking University’s Institute of Mental Health, estimates the rate of emotional disorders such as depression and paranoia among Chinese students under age 17 at up to 32 percent — a total of 30 million students.

Others say the figure may be as high as 50 percent. A survey last year by the government said nearly 58 percent of students felt highly stressed by academic pressures.

Chinese youth now enjoy greater material comfort and personal freedoms than their parents’ generation, but are more emotionally fragile, experts say.

Today's concerns: tests, work, relationships
Students educated before economic reforms began in the early 1980s were raised amid austerity and ideals of self-sacrifice. Under the job-assignment system prevailing until the early 1990s, graduates could expect the Communist Party to decide their futures.
Today’s Chinese teens are largely preoccupied with the same worries as their Western counterparts — exams, jobs and the opposite sex.

“Kids these days haven’t been through what we went through. Their hearts haven’t been toughened up and they’re distracted by all these other concerns,” Wenwen’s father, Wu Lijun, said in an interview.

Wu blames Wenwen’s school, the elite No. 7 Middle School in the eastern city of Wenzhou, for her suicide. He accuses the exam proctor of taking an overly harsh attitude and says school officials should have kept track of his daughter’s whereabouts.

Wu has sued the school and local education bureau over the death. A hearing was held in April, but no verdict has been announced.

School and bureau officials wouldn’t comment pending a ruling in the case. They refused to give their names because they weren’t authorized to speak to media.

Officials played down suicide
Wenwen’s case was front-page news in Wenzhou, sparking newspaper commentaries and heated discussion in online forums. But the coverage stopped after the lawsuit was filed — a likely sign that communist officials wanted to end talk about such a sensitive issue.

Students aren’t the only ones stressing over exams. Many parents take time off from work to help their children study, book them into hotels close to exam halls, and even petition to have traffic kept from near downtown schools to keep the area quiet during the tests.

Amid a budding debate over the wisdom of putting so much emphasis on the exams, counselors are reaching out through a medium most popular with teens: the Internet.

“This is such an important exam, it’s crucial to reduce anxiety to the lowest level possible,” Tsinghua University psychiatrist Li Yan said on the Web site “Emotional Navigation for Exam Takers,” hosted by the official People’s Daily newspaper.

“You need to lay down your burdens and just show them what you know,” Li said.

© 2006 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

Dragon Boat Festival

So, what do you do for the dragon boat festival when there is no water source?

I don't have an answer. Not feeling too clever right now.

The dragon boat festival was interesting. My kids gave me bracelets made out of colored string and many shoved steamed rice cakes in my face. It was fun and sticky. One of the teachers gave me a little dragon because of the festival and because I am year of the dragon. When my kids found out that I was year of the dragon they started to applaud. Freaks. They get excited over this strangest things.

Also, there were many willow branches in doorways. I was told it was to keep the ghosts out. I think some of my kids got a little carried away with this - one of the classrooms had so many branches you couldn't open the door very well.

Anyhow, that was last week. I have just been too lazy to put this up. This week...ummm....I have been breaking the news to all of my kids about my departure. This has been met with a lot of tears and protests. Lots of "but why?" and "no, you don't go", "we don't want a new teacher", and the heartbreaking "but I love you, do you have to go?" At least my announcement has been met with this kind of reaction rather than applause.

What else...one of my students got into trouble today. Apparently he took a potted plant and dumped it out onto his desk and threw some of the dirt. He was sent to the headmaster's office and then his mother was called into school. None of the teachers could get him to say why he did it, so I am to try to talk to him sometime (the students told a teacher that I'm the only teacher he likes).

Anyhow, hopefully I will be able to finish some of the half completed posts I started earlier this week and post them later this weekend.

WHEEEEEE!!!!!

So, another week comes to a close. We are ever more suspicious about the level of monitoring going on in our home and my kids continue to provide me with material.

So, classes went pretty well this week, well, all but one. There was only five minutes left of class, but I just could not take it anymore. I walked out. I just couldn't babysit any longer. The kids in that class can do everything that I want them to do, they just chose not to do anything and to mock me instead. Yea, fun! I was fed up and left. Later two of my kids came to the English office to talk with me and their head teacher about class. One of the boys was really upset and was crying a little bit. It turns out that this boy thought that I was mad at him for his drawing on the black board (class activity). He thought that I left class because of him. He was really upset and teared up every time I looked at him. I tried to reassure them that they did not do anything wrong, I was not mad at him (he and his friend always do a good job in class) for his drawing, and that they did not need to apologize for anything. Eventually, they seemed to feel better and they left the office.

Later, both of the boys met me in the hallway while I waited for one of my Junior 2 classes to start. They wanted to make sure that everything was okay and that I wasn't angry with them. The little boy was starting to tear up again, so I asked him if he wanted a hug. He said "no", so I asked him again - "Are you sure you don't want a hug?" and held my arms open. Then the tears started to run down his cheeks and he nodded "yes" and ran into me with open arms.

Okay.

Class successes: Not too many. English cheerleader - Go! Verbs Go! (get it?) Anyhow, I'm a dork. So, in class I can be a bit of a spaz sometimes - but I want to get them animated because they sit stationary for long periods of time. I like to run around class and try to get people talking. I also like to work with the kids who don't really have people to work with. So, I have a little conversation practice with a girl and guy in the back of the classroom because they won't talk to each other. Everyone stopped talking to watch what I was doing - after getting them refocused on what the class should be doing, I went back to talk with the pair. The kids around me told me that they were both really shy. When I had the groups present, they didn't present together, but the boy volunteered at every single opportunity even though his English wasn't the best. At the end of class all of the students gave him a round of applause for his effort.

My oh my!

Okay next: Children's Day

Today is Children's Day. Some of my kids had exams today (junior 2) so their special day was, well, not. But I was invited to attend and chaperone movie afternoon for the Junior 1 students. Me, about 5 other adults and 500 hyper children. Interesting.

One of the other English teachers who I work with invited me to come along with her class - but I didn't know how to get to the theater, so she asked her kids who could meet me at the school and take a cab with me out to the movies, she told me that about 45 student hands shot up in the air all at once. She laughed as she has never been able to get that kind of response to a question before. She picked one kid who lived near the school, and then, she said, experienced one of the biggest groans from the disappointed students.

So, I met the student outside of the gate and we set out for the movie theater. He was talking to the cab driver about how I was his foreign teacher from America, but I how I am actually Korean. He played translator for us and I gave him praise for his English. When we got out of the cab, he held the door open for me and announced
very loudly, "After you Ms. Molly!" to get the attention of his classmates. He was so proud that he got to bring the foreign teacher - cute. This was greeted with a lot of applause.

So, all 600 students were standing outside of the theater in rank, waiting to be let in. Finally they are allowed in by class. I go with my class 5. Immediately, I am greeted with, "Teacher Molly, here!" "Teacher Molly, here!"

So, the movie. I didn't really get it. I mean, my favorite part was watching an old man suture a ceramic bowl (the conservation geek in me). Other than that, well, Zhang Zi Yi runs a lot.... Also the kids' response was entertaining. They applauded for, well, anything. They applauded when Zhang Zi Yi first showed up on screen, when her love interest showed up on screen (followed shortly by laughter), when she started running, when she fell down, when she started running, when she got water, when she started running, when she made him dinner, when he gave her a barrette, when she started running, when she fell down, when she fixed up the school room, when she put up paper cuts in the window, when she started running....

Anyhow, the movie was not too interesting, except for the bowl repair, but I loved being there with all of the kids and watching/listening to them. Far more entertaining. Also, I had a lap full of food and drink that the kids pushed on me which also kept me quite entertained.

I was also informed that I must attend a dinner tonight for all of the Junior 1 and Junior 2 teachers. It was okay. This time I went sans Matt. My first adult dinner without the white guy. The dinners are pretty boring, the English teachers try to include me, but it gets exhausting for them to constantly funnel conversation for me. So, I sit and look at the chicken feet on the lazy susan. Every now and then one of the other non-English teachers would shout out random English phrases for my benefit, but other than that, not too much in the way of excitement. Mr. Math was there. And, well, he didn't spend a whole lot of time in the room for Junior 2 teachers and, instead, spent a lot of time staring at me. A bit unnerving, y'know to be constantly stared at. It seemed to be making some of the other teachers a little uncomfortable too, but he didn't break gaze. So, staring, dice game - yup, you could say that I graciously took the first opportunity to jump ship and head home with my bag of pigeon (?) and chicken feet to give to Matt.

Anyhow, now I can officially start my long weekend!

English Humor

Hello again!

So, this week my senior students are learning about English humor. Matt and I looked through their book and determined that the lesson was, well, super lame. I mean we weren't familiar with the jokes, nor were they funny. So, we prepared some jokes, puns, tongue twister and riddles for the students.

The joke that my class like the best was:

A woman got on a bus, holding a baby.
The bus driver said, "That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen."
In a huff, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus.
The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong.
"The bus driver insulted me," she fumed.
The man sympathized and said, "Why, he's a public servant and shouldn't say things to insult passengers."
"You're right," she said. "I think I'll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind."
"That's a good idea," the man said. "Here, let me hold your monkey."

It was really funny to watch them "get" the joke. It was like a wave swept through he classroom and left in its wake a bunch of children laughing.

The other joke they really liked was:

One day a student was taking a very difficult exam. At the end of the exam, the teacher asked all the students to put their pencils down and immediately give him their tests. The young man kept writing furiously, although he was told that if he did not stop immediately he would fail. He ignored the warning, finished the test 10
minutes later, and went to hand the test to his teacher. The teacher told him he would not take the test.

The student asked, "Do you know who I am?"
The teacher said, "No and I don't care."
The student asked again, "Are you sure you don't know who I am?"

The teacher again said no. So the student walked over to the pile of tests, placed his in the middle, then threw the papers in the air.

"Good" the student said, and walked out. He passed.

I think they got a kick out of that one because they have exams coming up.

Anyhow, another short week for me as the junior school has exams. So, until next time, my dear readers.

Back in Business!

For all of you who were wondering, I just wanted to let you know that the "nook" is back in business in Guyuan!

So, drop trow and saddle up!

I feel really bad for the street sweepers.

Mmmmm...ripe!

Go Get Your Gris-Gris On!

Do you voodoo? Zhongguo says, "NO!"

Enjoy!

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Voodoo dolls are all the rage in China—especially now that the government has banned them.

Web Exclusive
By Quindlan Krovatin
Special to Newsweek
Updated: 6:45 p.m. ET May 24, 2006

May 24, 2006 - Not content with jailing subversive reporters and restricting access to prodemocracy Web sites, the Chinese government has turned its attentions to a new destabilizing influence: voodoo dolls. Central government authorities are so bothered by the political implications of the dolls that they banned them entirely from Beijing's retail stores in April.

The dolls have become increasingly popular among the Middle Kingdom's misanthropes and trend-conscious teens. Customers purchase a doll (pin included), attach a piece of paper bearing the name of their enemy to the doll and then stab away. Voodoo Dolls Online offers a wide range of dolls in assorted colors. "Do you want to make your enemy feel as if someone is always stalking him behind his back?" reads the caption next to a doll clad in black. " 'The Magic Shadow Killer' will thoroughly destroy his spirit." Another popular item is the "Little Angel," which purportedly brings good luck and helps its owner find true love.

Authorities at Beijing's Industrial and Commercial Management Department claim the dolls encourage superstition and "promote feudalism and feudal beliefs." When officials first cracked down on the import of dolls from Thailand two months ago, Chinese entrepreneurs filled the growing demand by making the toys themselves, wrapping colorful yarn around wire skeletons and adorning each with a crude felt heart. The toys were a marvel of marketing: told that one doll could not be used to harm multiple enemies, the youths who bought them kept coming back for new ones as their hit lists grew in length. Moreover, some stores offered protective dolls that could ward off attacks from other would-be witch doctors.

But now even these homegrown innovators are under attack. In April, after receiving complaints from concerned parents, the Beijing Industrial and Commercial Management Department confiscated all dolls still on sale in the city and issued strict warnings to toy vendors. "We have been told we will be fined and even imprisoned if we continue to sell voodoo dolls," says Huang Xiaoli, a saleswoman in a toy store in the Xidan Mingzhu Market. "The police are serious," she adds. "This is not like pirated DVDs, where the authorities say 'Do not sell these,' and then look the other way while people sell them. Policemen have visited me twice since the ban took effect in April. They really believe voodoo dolls can hurt children." Five separate toy merchants from various parts of Beijing confirmed the ban. A Ministry of Commerce official would not elaborate on its policy toward the dolls—a common practice when authorities are asked about politically sensitive decisions—but by way of explanation he directed a reporter to a law prohibiting the sale of items that foster what the government sees as feudal thought.

Voodoo dolls can still be purchased in cities outside of Beijing, such as Shenzhen and Guangzhou, where central-government policy can be slower to take hold, but already citizens across the country are calling for the Communist Party to enforce a nationwide ban. The Guangdong Provincial Communist Youth League Committee issued a public statement on May 4, the anniversary of China's liberation from imperial rule, calling for a boycott of voodoo dolls and labeling those who buy them "a disgrace to socialism for believing in feudal superstitions."

However, as is the case with all outlawed vices, the sale of voodoo dolls continues to flourish on the Internet. Web sites hawking the dolls have proliferated, customers can bid on dolls on auction Web sites such as eBay and China's Alibaba, and the phenomenon continues unabated in Korea and Japan, where their sale has never been restricted. Some critics feel that the government, by expending so much energy on the dolls, is only lending credence to the traditional Chinese belief in the power of curses and black magic. "Until a month ago, I was selling 10, maybe 11 voodoo dolls a day," says Chen, the owner of a toy store in southwestern Beijing who declined to give his full name when speaking ill of the government for fear of reprisal. "I think most of the kids bought them because they were popular, not because they wanted to hurt each other. The government looks foolish when it acts scared of some silly toys. These things only have power if you believe in them."

Since the initial crackdown, there have been no voodoo-doll-related arrests, although vendors who continue to sell the dolls run the risk of incurring a hefty fine per voodoo doll in their possession. Whether a nationwide ban will be instituted remains to be seen. Regardless, the Chinese government is once more confronting the problems that arise when a market economy and socialist ideology collide.

© 2006 Newsweek, Inc.

King Happy

So, just about to wrap up another week. This has been an interesting week in a lot of ways... let's just say that I was able to talk a little about the email and why I found it offensive, but I can't say that that really changed the preference for the melanin-challenged portion of the Western population.

Anyhow, classes were good this week. Eerily good this week. I think my kids are a little stressed about their exams next week. The first day of their three day exam will be on Children's Day - what a way to celebrate your special day, math test. So, I think I will play some sort of review game and get them all cheery with the dreaded Chicken Dance.

Usually I ask my class the "How's it going?" question to start off the period. I have been getting lots of "very, very, very terrible" responses this week. One of my students, who named himself, "Happy King" said that he was feeling very sad and slumped down in his seat. He is usually a very cheery student who is always smiling. A little later, while checking group conversations, I asked him where his smile went and he said that he was too sad to smile.

I finished up my rounds and hopped back up onto the platform at the front of the classroom only to hear, "Teacher! Teacher! Look!" There was Happy King with a big purple smile drawn across his face (almost as big as the real smile that was now on his face) with highlighting marker nicely accented with a bright green Fu Manchu moustache and beard. I starting laughing and couldn't stop. I just couldn't look at him without laughing and whenever we looked at each other we would both just start cracking up. So, the kingdom is once again in good spirits as King Happy is now again the happy King.

My Remarkable Makeover!

So, whaddaya think?

I have had some time to think about my last post, and I have decided, ya know what? They're right. I think it is way more impressive to be white. So, with the help of my husband and lots of "product" I would like to unveil my new truly more impressive and remarkable white self! I do think that now I will be able to provide the local people with the desired "effect" the administration was hoping for initially.

My "White Face" Routine

So, now that I have the look, I need the act to be totally convincing with my new found ethnic identity. I know, I know - I'm western, I know that I am, but I need to be MORE western to make it more convincing. There is no room for error here.

So let's see here....

Ahem, ahem -

"I said I wanted a double no whip, half caf, soy milk, mochalatta with 1 2/3 shots of mint!"

"Hey! Check out this running man!" (see "Evolution" of dance)

"What!? White rice? I'm sorry, I can't, I have to watch my carbs."

"...that thing on NASCAR?"

I dunno, just doesn't seem to fit very well. So, I guess I will just stay the same, the same old Korean-American me - unremarkable and unimpressive. I have a feeling the whole "white" look will just irritate me after awhile. Takes too long.

Anyhow, even with the improved skin color, we still had to work out what to do with the eyes....

Thanks, for all of you who commented and emailed me about the disappointing stance they decided to take. I appreciate it.

Anyhow, no more! As of now, I will be fully resuming my Twinkie lifestyle (y'know, yellow on the outside, yada yada yada). And my official stance on the whole issue is, um, well, "Sit and Spin!"

Only Whites Need Apply

I must admit that I am a little upset as I write this. As you all know, or will know after this post, Matt and I have both really enjoyed our time here in Guyuan but will be moving to Beijing for the next term. I will miss all of my kids dearly and my time with them will always be important to me. I am already getting all choked up whenever I think about having to say goodbye to them. I am very close to some of my kids and I know what kind of impact I have had on them because they have had such a profound impact on me.

However, being a good teacher (err, English cheerleader) or making a difference in the lives of the students isn't what it is all about for the schools. It's how you look. I look Asian. I'm proud of my ancestry and I generally like the way I look. I am not what they want.

At first, it was just a suspicion (a confirmed suspicion, but still a suspicion) that my appearance was not what they were hoping for and that was why Matt was always getting whisked away and introduced to people, getting shown off while I was kinda brushed aside. I gladly accepted my status as the "other foreign teacher". No name, not white. I can't say that I exactly minded getting less attention as I know that I would not have liked getting the attention that Matt received both inside and outside of the school walls. I know why he is teaching at the key middle school and why I am teaching at the Junior School. It is no mystery.

So, most recently, we got a little e-snippet about the school's preference for future volunteers (we can read your mail too, China):

"the most important thing is that because we live in a remote area and we are the first school to invite foreign teachers in Gu Yuan, the school leaders want the two teachers to be typical Westerners in appearance, which will give the local people an impressive and remarkable effect."

It is just different when you see it in writing. I don't know who should be more offended, Matt or myself. So, looks are the most important. It doesn't matter what we do in the classroom, yeh gotta be white, because we all know that IS what the typical Westerner looks like. I know the theory behind this, but what does the typical American look like? Is Matt more of an American because he is more fair? Am I less of one because I am a naturalized citizen? It's like saying all of the Chinese have the same stereotypical look - yellow skin, slanty eyes, straight, black hair, short and a little buck-toothed. But being here, well, there is no one way a Chinese person should look - and thank God for that. All of my kids are beautiful and different. Granted they don't have blonde hair and blue eyes, and generally all have dark hair and dark eyes, but, I really don't think that one could say that they all look the same.

One of the beautiful things about America (and yes, there are quite a few) is its diversity. Granted all things are not equal in the states, but there is a wonderful diversity of people. Is a black person a typical westerner/American? Someone like my cousins - half Mexican, half European? Is there such a thing as a typical American?

I dunno. I'm disappointed.

It brings back a memory of when I was a little girl. My dad works in advertising and he had me and my brother pose for a photoshoot depicting an American family going camping. Well, in my mind (and I don't know if this is exactly accurate, but this was just my impression) everything was good, parents, son, clothing, but not the little chinky looking girl coming out of the tent. Because American families aren't mixed like that - well, at least none that you would want in print media.

I have always felt accepted in my family and out, until an outside force brings it to my attention that I am different. It is the same here. The day to day stuff I know that I am different - in that I am a visitor here and can't speak the language, etc. I look similar, but that is just on the surface, I act and conduct myself very much like a Westerner because, duh, I am a westerner. I am not made to feel unwelcome or like a disappointment (no matter how surface) on the day to day. The kids make me feel loved for who I am, not for how I look. But then, it is only at the meet and greets, the public "face" stuff, and that email when it is brought to my attention that I am not exactly what they want. They want the stereotype. Not me.

Okay, I'm rambling on a little, I am just really disappointed. I do try to understand from the school's perspective that a white face is different and could give the school a higher status, but it just feels so, well, shallow. Racial profiling. That this characteristic + that characteristic = Something better.

This in no way will change my desire to stay in contact with the people who have made such a difference in my life here, but doesn't improve my stance on the administration. The kids. The kids are what's important, at least to me.

So, as one of the first foreign teachers at a middle school in Guyuan, who apparently does not have the "typical Western" appearance, I may not have been able to "give the local people an impressive and remarkable effect" on behalf of the school or boost the status of the school by my appearance, but I am fairly certain that I have been able to make an "impressive and remarkable effect" on the beautiful children I get to work with everyday which is remarkably more important to me than any shallow concerns the administration may have.

World Record? Uhhh...Go, Yeah!?

My college pal, Jerry just sent me this article about what has been goin' on at my Alma Mater. I guess, go Beloit, go? Right?

SAT., APR 8, 2006 - 9:09 PM
Beloit College students go for Ultimate Frisbee record
GENA KITNER gkittner@madison.com
BELOIT -- About 30 Beloit College students have played Ultimate Frisbee through rain, hail, cold and even a bit of sun since Thursday ? and they plan to continue until 7 tonight in an effort to break the world record for the longest continuous Ultimate Frisbee game.

"We've seen all four seasons," said Alex Tillett-Saks, a Beloit College junior and one of the event organizers.

But despite the conditions, "everyone' remaining in really good spirits," he said Saturday as the group entered its 42nd hour.

The current Guinness world record is 70 hours and 14 seconds and the students' plan is to make it to 72 straight hours of Ultimate Frisbee.

The object in Ultimate Frisbee is to score by catching a Frisbee pass in the opponent's end zone. A player must stop running while in possession of the disc but can pivot and pass to any of the other receivers on the field.

The players are divided into two teams and play in shifts, said Nick Wolf, a Beloit College junior who also helped organize the event. The teams have a detailed record of every point to verify the statistics for the record book, he said.

The students are playing at Karris Field, which because of the rain resembled more of a mud pit than a field. As of Saturday afternoon, the group had played about 25 games, some better than others.

"You can't really run in the mud," Tillett-Saks said.

Amy Buechler, a sophomore at Beloit College, said she had never played Ultimate Frisbee until this weekend.

Why get involved now?

"Glory," she said.

Buechler was on the field Saturday after playing for 13 straight hours Friday.

"It's fun when everybody's really tired," she said. Although she got a break to sleep, she said it's hard to relax.

"When you're falling asleep you're thinking about Frisbee."

According to the Ultimate Player's Association Web site, about 100,000 people play Ultimate Frisbee in the United States.

Gabe Stader-Brown, a Beloit College junior, is an experienced Ultimate Frisbee player who tries to get involved in any Frisbee event he can.

To prepare for the nonstop Frisbee action, he ate healthier and drank more water in the weeks leading up to the event. But nothing could prepare him for the rain, hail and freezing temperatures early on.

"It seems like the weather is out to get us," he said.

As part of the event, organizers hoped to raise money for the Merrill Community Center, a nonprofit agency in Beloit's inner city.

Although no money had been raised as of Saturday afternoon, organizers hope the event raises awareness for the community center.

"We think it's great," said Princess Snyder, program director at the Merrill Community Center. "I know that they think about us when they do community service."

Judson Laipply is dancing - The Evolution of Dance

If a man dancing around in blue jeans and an Orange Crush t-shirt doesn't do it fer ya, well, there is no hope for you.

If the above doesn't work, please click here: Judson Laipply is dancing

Seriously funny and non-political for those loyal "W" fans.

Spanky, Spanky

I just had to post this brand new hall game!

The game:

STEP 1: A pair of boys link arms

STEP 2: They start to run around in a circle.

STEP 3: While they spin, they madly try to spank each other.

STEP 4: Hilarity!

I gotta bring my camera more often to catch these gems.

Classes were good today. I broke up a nasty little fight in the hall - one kid got a bloody nose from a big wallop to the face. Had to put them both in timeout for the rest of the morning break.

What else...Oh, we were talking about different kinds of meat and what animal it comes from. I asked, "What other meat do you like to eat?" Someone (I'll let you guess who) yelled out, "Horse tiger! Horse Tiger!" I looked at him and asked "you want to eat Ma Hu?" - who is a boy in the class (Ma(3)= Horse Hu(3)= Tiger). Everyone started laughing and pointing at Horse Tiger and called out "Just So-So, Just So-So". The class decided to name Ma Hu "Just So-So" because he doesn't like to study, so in school he only does "just so-so".

Boy oh boy! I will miss these kids so much when we leave!

BANG! BANG! BANG!

Why hammer when it's daylight when you can do it at 12:23 AM?

*Sigh*

For all of you who were concerned about my aches and pains, I'm all good now. Yes, in Zhongwei while listening to Gasman next door, I was stretching my stiff legs and CRRRRACK! When the pain subsided, and I regained consciousness (just kidding, I think...) I had full, pain-free use of my knee.

The saddle sore problem? Well, that worked itself out too (stinkin' metal saddle). I just couldn't sit real well for a few days.

Lip? Deflated.

All of my aches and pains did seem to amuse my children though, especially my bloated lip. Ah yes - nothing like laughing at other people. Stinkin' kinds :-)

Anyhow, went out with our awesome Waiban yesterday. She took us to a good restaurant and new American chocolate shop. So, Candinas (great shop in Verona, WI) it is not, but good to try. The chocolate mice were delightful. Also, we had some more "coincidental" conversations. Oh China PSB, you sly dogs, you!

Hammering done. Me bed.

Multi-Tasking

Hello again! I am 2 classes away from ending my week. Today my morning classes went a lot better than classes yesterday. The most complicated thing today will be assigning roles for the Chinese version of Romeo and Juliet.

Anyhow, I was thinking about going back to the 8 AM - 5 PM world last night and my diminishing work ethic. Man, I never, ever thought that I would be complaining about working 10 1/2 hours a week and how my re-adjustment period will be a bigger shock than any culture shock I may have experienced in China.

When I got back from Indonesia it was strange to come back after only a short amount of time - everyone spoke so fast, I could drink the water from the faucet and, well, toilet paper! I just wonder what it will be like now. I mean, going to Beijing will help ease me back into a faster pace, but, well, my English is bad! I don't really use contractions when speaking anymore and I find myself speaking in the wrong tense a lot of the time because the majority of my kids have not learned anything about past or future yet.

Man, I am going to be annoying when I get back! Can you imagine me at an interview speaking China slow, over explaining everything, not using any contractions, using the simplest English possible and only using the present tense? God, I'm annoying myself just thinking about it.

But not all work skills have been lost. I was quite capable at multi-tasking in my working career. That, I can still do. I can explain lyrics to an English song, while proof reading a paper, while telling a kid not to steal my coffee, while holding paper things my kids made for me in a way so they know I treasure them, while giving a certain look to a group so they know that I am watching what they are doing, while using the blackboard to write/draw English definitions to Chinese words, while acknowledging every "teacher, me" I hear and giving adequate praise/expression/whatever, while breaking up the occasional fight, while eating the cookie that is being shoved in my face. So, not quite the same as working on several computer documents, answering the ever ringing phone, chipping away at all of the paperwork on my desk, reviewing slides, running into that meeting on time, researching whatever and arranging a last minute lunch/dinner. But close, right?

I guess there is some hope for me when I get back to the States.

Boo-ya.

The Weary Teacher

wea·ry [weeree]
adj (comparative wea·ri·er, superlative wea·ri·est)
1. tired: tired, especially in having run out of strength, patience, or endurance
2. tiring: tiring or exhausting
3. showing tiredness: showing or characterized by tiredness

Encarta ® World English Dictionary © & (P) 1998-2004 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved.

So, this is my first week back teaching and I am exhausted! All in all I have worked a whopping 7.5 hours this week and have another 3 whole hours tomorrow. God help me when I get back to the real world. I just haven't been in the teachin' spirit this week. It has been good to see the chillins again, but both parties' heads are just not into school.

I think that I am just really disappointed with my class 1. They have always been one of my favorite classes to teach. The kids are great and fun, but today, I just had it. Done. I could only get about 9 kids out of 60 to focus on class and willingly participate (of course it doesn't help that before my class they have gym and free time and my class is the last class of the day). Yes, only my reliable 8 boys who always want to talk were going to concentrate on class today (mostly I think they felt bad that everyone else wasn't). The rest of them, let's see...I confiscated: 4 cartoon books, 2 math notebooks, 1 guitar music book, 1 MP3 player, 7 paper airplanes, and 1 paper boat floating in the mop bucket which was in and of itself distracting about 9 people. Also, I had to relocate 5 people who were just too distracting to each other to be near, sent 2 out into the hall (only 2 - I wanted to send about 50 out there) and broke up a fight. Done. Tired. My good 8 were really concerned about class afterward and caught up with me to apologize when I briskly left at the bell.

But, it's not just that class, it's more of an overall disappointment that includes all of my classes, this class was just the straw. I know that my class is not serious, hell, my grades don't even count and I don't think that they ever see how I mark them. So, actual class performance means absolutely jack shit. The ones who never say anything and do math every class period get the same mark as the ones who participate at every opportunity. Really, there is no incentive to participate in my class.

I don't have any great delusions about being able to teach them great things about English - I know what my class is and isn't and I know what my role here is (English Cheerleader) and I accept that gladly, but when I can't even get a class to shut the hell up for 10 seconds or to at least be quiet while I am talking, well...I'm done.

I know it will get better, eventually. Just incredibly frustrated and tired. At least on the way home today I ran into little Sam and he was really happy to see me and ran off to get the rest of the posse to walk home together. They all looked at me at once and said, concerned, "Are you sad, Teacher?" I almost started to cry that they were able to look at me feigning happiness and just seemed to know what I was feeling and they cared about how I was feeling. I told them that I had a difficult day, and that some classes did not go very well, but was much happier now that I was walking home with them. They all smiled, Sam did a little dance, and my sweet little Jack spoke up and said to me, "Teacher, you make all of us feel very, very, very happy everyday we see you. Now, smile." Of course, I already was.

The Best 24 Minutes on C-SPAN

Hey -

Check out Comedy Central's Stephen Colbert at The White House Correspondents Dinner. Pure gold!



If this doesn't work for you (or loads too slowly) go to: http://www.c-span.org/, scroll down to the "Video/Audio" section and click on "Comedian Stephen Colbert at White House Correspondents' Dinner (4/29/2006)"

Here's a few gems from his speech:

On Iraq: "I believe the government that governs best is the government that governs least. And by these standards, we have set up a fabulous government in Iraq."

On Cheney's hunting incident: "To sit here at the same table with my hero, George W. Bush...I feel like I'm dreaming. Somebody pinch me. You now what, I'm a pretty sound sleeper, that may not be enough...Somebody shoot me in the face."

On the press response to the White House shake-up and the metaphor of "rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic": "This administration is soaring, not sinking...If anything, they are re-arranging the deck chairs on the Hindenburg."

On Bush's response to disasters: "I stand by this man because he stands for things. Not only for things, he stands on things. Things like aircraft carriers, and rubble, and recently flooded city squares. And that sends a strong message, that no matter what happens to America, she will always rebound with the most powerfully staged photo ops in the world."

On Bush's response to global warming: "[Talking to Jesse Jackson] is like boxing a glacier...Enjoy that metaphor, by the way, because your grandchildren will have no idea what a glacier is."

Check it out!

Guyuan Guanxi

That 10 bucks burning a hole in your pocket? Wanna spend it in China?

Matt and I are starting up a little pet project called "Guyuan Guanxi". We want to find a small way to give back to the student community that we have grown to love. So yes, I am fishing for donations. No formal appeals, no asks for great dollar amounts, no pictures or videos on me by a garbage filled ravine ala Sally Struthers, no tax deductions (at least not yet), just that warm fuzzy feeling you get from helping out. In this case helping out a kid who is working very hard to have a future out of this poverty stricken area.

The first project is called "Home for the Holidays". Many of the kids that we teach come from poor families who are making significant sacrifices in order for their children to have a chance at getting an education in the hopes of going to a university and, hopefully, making a better life for themselves. To accomplish this, middle school students are usually boarded at the school and are in school from approximately 7:30 AM to Noon, 2:20 PM to 5:40 PM and 7 PM to 10 PM, six days a week. With additional classes on Sunday nights.

During the holidays, some students cannot afford to see their families because all of their money are going towards education. In Ningxia, you can take the bus from one end of the province to the other for no more than 70 or 80 kuai (about $9 or $10 USD) Most of our students need considerably less for a one-way ticket.

We will be working to set up a students' fund for travel where interested students may compete for travel by submitting English essays explaining why they should receive funds to go home. This is just in the beginning stages of development, so we cannot yet tell you when or how the funds will be disbursed. First, we are trying to raise a fund to disburse so we know how many students we can help. If you are interested in donating some money to this effort, please simply click this link to Matt's webpage: http://www.freewebs.com/forty4two2/guyuanguanxi.htm and you can make a donation via Paypal. Or, if you have questions or concerns, you can contact us at: guyuanguanxi@gmail.com. A website is under construction at: http://www.freewebs.com/guyuanguanxi/index.htm please excuse our dust. We will be adding to and editing this site a lot over the next year.

So, in closing, last term we had our students write about where they would go if they could go anywhere in the world. Both Matt and I got quite a few responses like the one below and were quite touched by how open they were, sharing their feelings with us when answering a simple question for their semester final.

"If I could go anywhere in the world, I would like to go to my hometown. It is very poor and some people do not think it is very pretty, but the water is very clean and I think the mountains are very beautiful. I would like to see my mother and father and brother. I have not seen them for two years and I miss them very much." Writing Assignment Excerpt From a Guyuan Yi Zhong Senior 1 Student

Our Very Last Trip to Yinchuan, I Swear!

Well, at least for this year.

After our Sha Hu stop over (see previous post), we wanted to take refuge in the lovely Yinchuan. Such a great city!

We got in before noon and checked in to the good ol' Gulou Hotel. Then we head down to Napoli's for the pizza buffet. I don't think that the restaurant was ready for the crowds. It was around 11 AM and they were out of everything! The soda machine wasn't working and the pizza was not coming out fast enough. So, we were a little disappointed with our lunch.

Since this is our last time here, we think that we should try to see some more of the sights just outside of the city. We hire a cab to take us out there First stop, Zhenbeibu - Zhang Yimou's set for the movie, "Red Sorghum". It was cheesy, but a lot of fun. We have some good pictures of us goofing off on the set, which I hope to get loaded up onto my flickr site soon (see sidebar - Unsinkable Photos). Our cab driver was awesome! We worked out a deal with him so we could make sure to get home (the studio was farther out of the city than we had expected). After, we met him out by one of the exit gates and we asked him to take us out to see the Baisikou Shuang Ta - a pair of pagodas. They were cool! He stopped alongside the road so we could get some good pictures and grab a couple of Helan Shan rocks. Then we went up to the pagodas and looked around the area. One of the reasons we wanted to see these pagodas was because our PD, Michelle, went here and was told by a couple of local men that they had spotted a UFO hovering in the sky between the two structures. No aliens today, well, besides Matt and me.

I do have to say, that we have always been very happy with the sites we have seen in Ningxia. Not so much with the resorts, but the sites have been really worth seeing. Not a lot of the regular tourist stuff, souvenirs, concession stands, women chasing you around the park with postcards. Just the site. Not a lot of alteration, some signage, at times in English. Peaceful. You can just take it all in and enjoy it.

After, back to the hotel, we went out for dinner at the new International Hotel - Mr. David's Restaurant, very pleasing western menu and excellent pizza (tomato sauce and all). Then, DVD shopping and back to the room to be lulled to sleep and woken up to the sound of people yelling, screaming and singing in the hall.

The next day was all about cheese. The new underground grocery store there carries processed cheese singles. Then, a KFC mashed potato and gravy lunch, more DVD shopping and back home.

Ahhhh...Yinchuan! What a great escape!

5 Cities, 5 Days

Whew! Back in Guyuan and IN our apartment with no trouble this time! So, here is the travel log you all have been waiting for (yeah, right):

So, half awake we stumbled out of our apartment to get out to the train station to catch our train. We had to wake up the caretakers at our apartment complex to unlock the gate so we could try to hail a cab at this time of morning/night. We got to the station, handed over our tickets and boarded our train to Zhongwei at 5:43 AM Saturday morning.

We're ready to continue our night's sleep when we realize that our tickets are standing room only, no seat. So, we try to find a semi-empty spot at the end of one of the cars. This time we pack light so we don't wake everyone up on our little walk down the aisle with a harsh slap to the face with a pack strap. So, like the lucky cats we are, we find a nice spot - IN THE SMOKING CAR! Bleck! Nothing like sleeping standing up while getting ash flicked on you, burned by careless smokers trying to snub out a cigarette (missing the ash tray because they are too busy staring at the big white guy) and people blowing smoke directly in your face because they want to stare at you up close. At least we have a little nook, and were sharing it with a little old man with a facial deformity. He was probably the only one who didn't really stare at Matt - I guess he was relieved that people found someone else to stare out.

After about an hour another man and child came and decided to wake up the old man, shove me out of the way and completely take over the entire space in the nook. The nerve of this guy! Now I can't even really stand comfortably without stepping on him or his daughter, who are now down, splayed out (as much as one can be) on the floor of the nook. Then, to make the situation even more comfortable the man keeps on moving around and kicking my feet when my STANDING got in his way. Then he kept on leaving and coming back, to let me know he wanted me to let him out or back in he would just shove me. Not the push, push that I have become accustomed to, but a shove. Apparently, like father like daughter. I was in a half snooze when she gave my leg a good shove and my knee buckled.

After a little while, Matt and I tried to see if the conditions might be better in the aisle of the car. I decide to hang out near an empty seat near the front of the car. In the group of seats I was standing next to was a group of Chinese business men and one of them offered the empty seat to me. I was so thankful! We tried to chat, they, in whatever English they knew and I in my (less than a) smattering of Chinese. The guy who paid for the seat I was in happily sat on the edge of another seat, next to one of his co-workers. They were delighted that I was Korean and that Matt was American and we were teachers in Guyuan. Later on, a different man who was listening in on our clumsy conversation piped up in broken English, "Hello! You come sit here!" He packed up all of his things and gave me his seat. He went to go stand at the end of the car. I thought that he was getting off at the next stop, only to find out that he was getting off when we were - 2 hours away! Matt was able to share an edge of a seat for a little bit, but he decided to go stand in the end because of his damn long legs (he had to get up every time someone wanted to get by, so like, every 10 seconds). So, even though my trip started with quite a bit of discomfort and annoyance, it ended quite pleasantly. When we arrived at our stop, all of the businessmen stood up and said goodbye when I passed by, I thanked the man who gave me his seat and he said that he was happy to, and the man with the facial deformity gave me a big smile and waved as we got off the train.

Next, Zhongwei. We weren't prepared for the temperature here or for what the city looked like. It was hot and not at all like Guyuan! When something is described in the guide book as a "small country town" we picture something like Guyuan or possibly a little less than what we have here. But this city had big buildings, many traffic lights AND a separate lane for bikes. Made us think that we really must be a little more remote than we thought we were if this is a small country town and fuelled our suspicion that none of the writers of the books had actually visited these places.

So anyway, we found a hotel and quickly ditched our extra clothing and went out to explore a little bit. The big site here is an interesting temple, Gao Miao. Why is it interesting, you may ask? Let's say you are a Buddhist and don't know where to go, no problem, Gao Miao. Confucian? Gao Miao. Taoist? Gao Miao. Even, Christian? Yup, Gao Miao. It was an interesting place to look around and offered great views of the city. After, we grabbed a bite to eat at Dico's and headed back to the hotel.

Okay. If you ever had any doubt, bowling alleys in hotels are not a good idea. Especially if the bowling alley is located one floor above or below the floors where guests want to sleep and there is no sound proofing. Yeah, I was lulled to sleep with the low rumble of a bowling ball rolling down a lane punctuated by the sound of the pins getting knocked down. Also, a miscalculation on our part, getting a hotel next to the train station has its benefits like location, but also its drawbacks, i.e. said location - the blasting train whistles as the train rolls in and out of town. Not the little pleasant "choo-choo" whistle I remember staying up for when I slept over at my grandma's house. But the loudest, most obnoxious air horn ever created by mankind. I admit, I exaggerate, a little, but it was LOUD and l o n g. They laid on the horn. Ohmygod. So between the bowling alley and the train, my hopes of a good night's rest were fading fast. During one of the pauses of the night time sounds, I hear through the wall, some, um, "noises". For the next 4 hours I had the pleasure of listening to our neighbor manage his gases. Yup. Gases. Loud bodily emissions, followed up with the Chinese equivalent of "OOOOOOH, YEAH!" So, me no sleepy.

Next day, off to the bus station to Shapotou. To be honest, I didn't have very high expectations of this resort area - described as a playground for the Chinese. I was sort of picturing the Wisconsin Dells in the desert. So, it turned out to be a little better than what I was picturing. We got a pleasant room that had that "cabin smell" and headed out right away to check out the activities. Dune slide - Check, Camel ride - Check, adequately ripped off - check. We paid to go out for a 2 hour camel ride in the desert - hopefully to see the remains of the Great Wall in this area.

So, well, about 45 minutes later, some of which was spent with us just walking on the pavement sans camel. We were heading back at the base. No Wall. The foreigners thoroughly disappointed. Matt bargains with one of the camel ladies. We pay a little more to take some horses out to see the remains of The Wall. Part way through the journey we both get a feeling that this "trip" was not a resort sanctioned activity - the tip off? Leaving the resort area completely, the complete lack of tourist pomp, and having to be cleared for entrance at a PLA check point. Hmmmm...any how, we were glad that we were able to get out the see the big earthen wall (the Great Wall was earthen - ahem, dirt - in these parts).

On the way back, Matt decided to walk (the stirrups were not long enough for him) so he got some color (that color would be bright red). Eventually, a scooter came and picked him up and brought him back. I was still on horseback, all of a sudden one of the women motions for me to grab the horn of the saddle, she took my horses reigns and we took off galloping. Remember that scene from Hildago during the sandstorm when he was being chased down by the approaching sand? Well, it was nothing like that. But I was riding horseback at full gallop racing down the streets of this small town, retreating from The Great Wall. It was quite a rush - must be my Mongolian/Korean blood. Genghis Khan launched several campaigns against the Western Xia (kingdom from these parts) all of which failed. It was an exhilarating experience, but I am still suffering from the consequences - saddle sore. The saddle was metal with a blanket over the top and the stirrups not well fitted. So, well, sitting it still not too comfortable.

After, we got a great dinner (some of the best Chinese food I have tasted here) and got to fall asleep in one of the softest beds we have had here in China. Unfortunately, the bar was right outside of our window and the bad music and even worse karaoke was blastin' until the wee hours.

Oh, and I got spit on by three different species of animals! You guess which ones!

Next, on to Sha Hu! We had been really lucky with transportation throughout this trip so far, especially as so much is done on the day of travel. We had to go back up to Zhongwei and catch a minibus to Sha Hu - another Chinese resort. We found the bus without much difficulty. After a long time, they tell us that there aren't enough people to go, so to try again tomorrow. The other couple on the bus then arranged for all of us to share a cab up to the resort. We didn't have high expectations for this place either and rightly so. Not that great. You have to pay to enter the park to see the lake OR as we discovered we could just take a walk around the side of the hotel and see it for free. A lot more organized fun. Both Matt and I were feeling like we had an ample supply of Chinese fun and decided to pass on the activities. So, we basically chilled out and tried to recover from the sun (Matt) and the horse (Me). Again, sleep wasn't easy to come by. People as late as 2 AM were yelling in the hallways and also, right in front of our door. Not talking loudly, but, rather, yelling, screaming and singing.

Early the next morning I woke up to a buzzing sound and a strange sensation. The resident pair of mosquitoes in our room went to town on my upper lip. It was super swollen and numb. I try to get back to sleep only to have them hit it a couple more times as well as my eye and forehead. In the morning I get a proper look of my lip - the right side is at least double the normal size. Looks like a collagen accident.

Yeesh!

Alright, so the three of us (my lip, in my opinion, qualified as another entity) decide to head to Yinchuan for a little R & R from our travels.

To be continued....

Dune Slides and Camel Rides

...Hopefully.

So, we are about to hit the road again - hard seat on the train, but only 4 hours this time. We are going to go out to the Tenggar Desert and see what's out there besides sand. Hopefully we will be able to get to some of the surrounding towns to see a little more of this area before we pack up and move out to Beijing.

So, I guess that is all for now, will post some more when I get back and I'm sure that I will have some more pictures to put up on Flickr too.

Goofin' Off in the Hall - Junior 2, Class 1

Goofin' Off in the Hall - Junior 2, Class 1

Watch the video

One of my favorite things to do between classes, is to visit my other classes and hang with the kids. This is one of my favorite classes at the Junior School. The kids are so friendly and fun to be with. Also, for the camera at least, they are little show-offs. So, I'm still trying to get a clip of the kicking/clapping game, but in the meantime, here are some of my kids goofing off in the hall.

Whoo-Hoo - Congratulations!

I just want to say congratulations to Brian and Debz! For the readers who don't know who these two wonderful people are, they are two of my friends from college who I don't get to see as often as I would like. I just can't even begin to tell about all of the good memories I have of these crazy cats.

Check out the proposal: www.briandearth.com

So, 6 years, 8 months...

Who won the pool?

Congratulations! Whip out the hikin' boots, it's time fer a weddin'!

My First Video Post!

Panda Brawl!

Watch the video

Okay, we haven't been able to stop laughing at these pandas since I shot the clip! They were definitely the most active captive animals we have ever seen.

Let me know if this works! If so, I have some other clips to put up - Enjoy!

@#?!

I FELL DOWN THE FRIGGIN' STAIRS AGAIN.

ARRRRGH!

And the Winner Is....

Matt's Team Haircut - Yinchuan! Whoo-hoo!

Okay, so my little Flickr counter says that my photostream has been viewed about 6000 times. But the number one photo is Matt's team haircut! This one picture has been viewed 64 times. What makes this a little more creepy is that the top 5 pictures are all of Matt getting his haircut. One of them has even been marked as someone's favorite.

Matt is creeped out by this.

Weirdos.

Disgusted with YOU!

Okay all of you -

I am thoroughly disappointed with all of you. Shame shame SHAME! I give you a simple request and how many of you even bother with the assignment? Three. Only three!

Okay, so I guess we have to try this again, won't we?

Usually, my kids are all looking at the floor uncomfortably at this point. But this is not for my kids this time.

Need more slang words people!

I have used: Tight, Shortie, Boo and Shady. So far the best reaction has been to shortie and boo. They seem to like to rat out who has a boyfriend and who so and so thinks is cute, etc. The slang is a great way to lighten the mood in the classroom.

Lay in on me, baby!

Chicken Ramen

So, I haven't really been too good about posting this week. I just didn't have it in me. So, these are some of the highlights from this past week...

I am still limping around like a gimp. My kids have been increasingly worried about my leg. I am surprised that they haven't hauled me off to the hospital yet. Now, for some odd reason I have a pain in my knee. Thank goodness for Icy Hot - Icy to dull the pain, hot to relax it away.

Last weekend they had the first round of the English contest - we didn't have to judge for the first round, but may be called into action for a future round. I am so proud of all of my kids. All of the students that I helped except for one, made it through the first round! Yea kids! Hopefully I will be able to see them in action in a future round.

But with the contest success came quite an unfortunate incident. Yup, a dinner. Worse yet, it was a dinner with the dreaded math teacher. I feel like I was rather tricked into it. I was invited to a sit with this man months ago and I refused, but I guess the desire wasn't dropped. So, I was duped by confused English and the students' success with the contest. From what I could tell initially, was that the students were really happy that they did so well and really wanted to take me out to dinner, but what it turned out to be was the head teachers from two of the classes that I helped, one of which was math dude. Man, I have a bad feeling about this.... I can see the complications I was having when I first started just looming on the horizon. Luckily, this time, I am saved by the upcoming vacation.

Now, on a more pleasant note, my kids! So, next week I only teach on Monday because of mid-terms at the Junior School. So, I tried to spend some time with my chillins this past week. So, my lovely class 6.

Class was going pretty well, I was monitoring the group work discussions. I pass by a group of girls and hear a faint peeping noise. I investigate. I find that one of the girls has brought a little baby chicken to school. Stored conveniently in a little 4" x 4" ramen bag! The poor little thing couldn't even move. I told her that she should probably leave it at home at the lunch break. Hmmm...that was something that I wasn't quite prepared for.

These kids are a riot! In the hall one of my little boys, Bob, was showing me that he learned a new English word, "kiss". He demonstrated by kissing one of his little friends on the cheek several times. Then he grabbed one of my little buddies, Jack, and told me that he was his little sister because he was "beautiful like a girl" and then kissed him.

Later, they start this clapping/kicking game. I really don't know how to describe it, and I want to try to get some video on it because it is quite funny. A line of boys start to clap and walk/hop up to another line of boys and then they all start to kick each other to the rhythm of the clapping. It is a little bizarre.

Then on the walk home, we all were having fun, one of the boys said something to my overly enthusiastic and parasitical fan which made her sprint away. When I questioned him about it, he just shrugged his shoulders and pretended not to understand what I was saying (even though I know that he did). Right after the girl left, we were immediately joined by the other members of my lunch posse who have taken up the habit of meeting us at the corner where she turns off. So, we all shared some ice cream and craisins for the rest of the way home. Sam did something and sort of kicked someone off of a bike. I saw his leg up in the air one moment, and a little boy on the ground the next. Oh that Sam!

Later in the afternoon, I met up with them before classes began. They frantically motioned for me to come over, so I did. They all pointed at a hole and were shouting "TEACHER, MOUSE! MOUSE!" Then they filled up some water bottles and poured them down the hole to flush it out. Suddenly a gopher came flying out and about 9 boys went chasing it around the playground trying to catch it. I do feel rather honored that they want to share these special moments with me.

Hmmmm...what else...We have been swapping papercuts in the English office. I was really nervous about sharing mine because some of the people here have a certain way of giving a compliment that really isn't one - like "You look so much fatter in your picture!" and the like. I had told them that I was interested in papercutting and that I have been doing it for about 20 years. So, one of the teachers brought in some patterns for me to try - all pretty simple. It was really sweet of her to do so, but I don't think that they were that confident in my abilities. It was really interesting though because she told me about some of the symbolism. Anyhow, so I did bring in some of my cuttings to give them and, well, I rock as it turns out. They loved them! The teacher in charge of my schedule at the school has been bringing is around with her and showing it to everyone she can - "the Korean American made this!" So, now they want me to teach them about my technique for cutting as I can get a lot more detail than they are used to. I will have to try to jerry rig up some knives for them as we can't get them here.

Anyhow, I will part this post with my latest escalator story. I went to the underground grocery store and was all finished with the shopping and was heading up. I was watching a little toddler on the down side. He was so adorable! He was so excited to be on the escalator that he was jumping up and down, waving his fists in the air and squealing and shrieking with joy. When he saw me he started to wave, laugh and jump up and down more excitedly. As soon as I passed him and his mother he had a startling look down at the monster. The joyful squeals turned to terror filled screams as he neared the silver teeth of the greedy escalator monster. He tried to flee by scampering back up, but he just couldn't climb fast enough. Soon, he burst out in a terrified and frantic cry. His mother quickly scooped him up and jumped off of the beast. The little boy, once on solid ground, collapsed on the floor and starting bawling to the point of hyperventilation. The great moving silver beast grumbled as it just missed its snack.

Slang

Hey -

I think that I am going to teach some of my kids some slag words - maybe a couple every class period. But, being that I am losing my language ability, I need your help - anything from the standard "cool" to Q's fav "rad" - if it is a little obscure, let me know what it means.

Thanks!

Step by Step...

No, not a NKOTB reference (that's New Kids on the Block for those of you not in the know).

This is basically a post dedicated to how inept I am when it comes to walking up and down stairs. Geez, I have managed to totally boff it going down the stairs on more occasions I care to admit to. I fully blame the little triangle step near the bottom of the staircase - it is at a bad angle and not wide enough for my entire foot on the side of the staircase I go down.

So, because of my bumpy past with the stairs I decided to go up really carefully. I had had problems going up in the past, but not to the extent of going down. So, carefully, so carefully I start my ascent. I am near the mid-way landing point and,

SPLAT!

HOLLER!

SWEAR!

SWEAR!

SWEAR!

I find myself curled up on the landing not able to actually get up. I landed a little weirdly on my thigh and shooting pain was now racing up and down my leg and back and I was oddly weak.

So, now I am limping all around like a gimp and my students are all worried, again (I enter the classroom to choruses of "Laoshi, you, hospital now!") When it snowed, I was escorted home by 8 students all grabbing hold of me in some manner or another to make sure I didn't slip on the snow. What a site it must have been to the locals who like sit on their front stoop to stare at the usual spectacle of me walking home with the kids! Today my SFS insisted on helping me down the stairs because he pointed out that there is no railing. Then one of my bigger kids grabbed my arm and had me ride side saddle on his bicycle (on the little rack on the back).

So far in Guyuan, I have found that my escalator skills are quite impressive and quite above par, but stair mastery has remained a mystery to me and I probably require a remedial 101 class. At least I am well taken care of by my kids whenever I do anything really stupid and usually embarrassing.

In the Past 24 Hours...

Well, more than that now that I am actually posting the message.

We have had:

Sunny, warm, 70+ degree temperature

Full blown sandstorm - made the sky a sickly yellow color

Sand-snow (before everything was wet, it was kinda snowing, but still sandstorming

Snow

Sleet

Snow with wicked wind

and,

Sam pantsed 12 people

Money to Burn

Well, it isn't real money, just special paper money to burn for festivals. Today, Matt and I were invited to go to a ceremony at a park where they have a memorial for the PLA soldiers who died serving their motherland.

We went out with 4 classes - chosen to represent their school, so they were very proud, two of Matt's and two of mine. Matt's 2 were his special classes - many are very poor, from the countryside and are attending Yi Zhong on a special scholarship, so they work really hard. The two senior classes I teach are the National Merit classes, meaning, they are damn smart kids. We were glad that we got to experience this special festival with these students.

We rode out to the event with one of Matt's classes - on the boy bus. They were fun! There was a little bit of a war between buses because some of the students wanted us on a different bus. So, Matt taught them 5 card draw and we were quizzed on our knowledge about the NBA and baseball. All in all, we know nothing.

We get out to the site and Matt was spotted by all of the hundreds of kids and the accompanying adults. He was getting his picture taken by both the obvious and the more stealthy individuals. He posed for many pictures with people we didn't know and there was a man with a camcorder who was just following him around for a little while, filming the white guy. It is pretty entertaining. Me jealous of the attention, hell no! I want a copy of the tape!

It was very interesting for us to witness and be a part of. Several students guided us around the area and translated everything for us so we could understand what was going on and what things were. Hopefully, I will have some pictures up tomorrow.

After the ceremony, we piled into a bus with my students and started the bumpy journey back. I had a very nice conversation with my kids and one of my best students told me some of the most heart warming things I have ever been told.

Eventually, we stopped off at a little place for the teachers to eat lunch. There was a mountain not too far away, so we went with the kids up the mountain. I must admit that the little journey up had a most inauspicious start. The initial bank down to get to the field plots was very steep and I tripped on my foot because I am so graceful, and took a nice dive. Oh well, klutzy.

So, Matt went off with some of his kids (I was still undecided about going up). I took some pictures of the area, including some of the caves houses. Eventually, I met up with some students who talked me into going up the mountain with them. One of our translators really helped me up - he actually was pulling me up some of the rises. It was fun - I was handed treats on the way up and they seemed to get a kick out of a teacher doing this with her students. They all got a good laugh out of my "You're half my age!" proclamation.

Anyhow, at the top we got a really nice view of the surrounding area and it was nice to be able to do make the climb with the students. Going down was, well, faster.... I got sapped by a number of trees I was aiming my body towards and was desperately grabbing hold of.

So, back to the flat land and back to the buses. We were waiting for the teachers to finish up their lunch only to find that they hadn't really started yet. We were not sure if they were waiting for us or not. We went inside of the restaurant to find them sitting around and talking and playing cards. They told us that our lunch has already been ordered. We get two bowls - one plain noodles, the other a good, spicy, noodle and mutton dish (you mix the two bowls together). From the other room there was quite a bit of interest in our chopstick abilities (they were peeking through the gap in the curtain).

Anyhow, after we left the restaurant, we got on to the bus with one of my favorite students (from Matt's classes) and we head for home. I have managed to miss all of my classes for the day (no word yet on if I am to make them up - I'll probably know at the last possible minute) and am quite dirty and tired, but really happy that we were able to spend this important day in China with so many of the students that we have come to love.

I Can't Believe I'm Doing This...

...I'm actually teaching the dreaded Macarena in class. Also, this brings about another equally disturbing realization for me: I actually remember the Macarena. Didn't have to Google it for the trip down the "not so great memory lane". I don't know what came over me. It just seemed like something I should do. That said, it is a riot! The kids get quite a kick out of it and seem to like to boogie down in the classroom and I am actually enjoying making them do it. Ahhh, power! Wha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

The most enthusiastic about it are the boys. Some have even climbed on top of their desks to shake it. They really like the hip swivel part of it - maybe too much as many a desk has been tipped over by too much hip action. When I call out that I need some people to help me do it up in the front of the room, little boy hands shoot up everywhere along with a chorus of "Teacher, me! Let me try please!". I have not yet been able to recruit a girl group to join me, but it is not for the lack of trying. I think I will be able to get some girls in my Thursday class.

On the walk home, I met my usual gang and we all went home together. Little Sam of course danced the Macarena the way home - except for when I had to hold him back so he wouldn't hit a girl who pushed/tripped him and caused him to scrape up his arm. This girl is probably the most irritating child that I have ever met. She won't leave me alone. She can't just walk near me, she has to suction herself to me and won't let go. She constantly interrupts me and the other chillins and now has taken up the hobby of taking things out of my bag and guffawing in my ear as loud as she can for no particular reason for a little attention. My little posse really doesn't like her (probably because she tries to physically hurt them so she can have my full undivided attention) and they try to shake her all the time. Today, My little Jack (one of the best English speakers in his year) just had enough of her and took off. We found him waiting at the corner for us after she turned off to cross the street. After that, we all shared some craisins and felt a lot better and were able to goof off like we normally do. We decided that this Sunday we are going to go fly a kite together and maybe go to the new little photo booth in town. I feel a little bad for Jenny because it doesn't really seem that she has a lot of friends, because well, she's down right annoying. Hopefully, she won't keep this up for very much longer. I guess I do have a bit of a history of picking up parasites in foreign countries. Mean, yes, I know.

Okay, enough of that. So, I have found myself doing all sorts of things that I would have never considered doing in the States. How low will I sink? What's next, the finer details of the Chicken Dance? Tune in next week.

EMERGENCY EVACUATION!

Just letting all of you know that we have to leave town for a couple of days - wait for things to simmer down with the rumored uprisings. We will be in e-contact when possible but can't promise anything...




















April Fool's!

Sorry, I couldn't help it.