So, things have been going pretty well here in Guyuan. Matt and I are getting familiar with the city and have found our favorite eating places and have even picked up a few friends (even if we really can't talk to them).
Life here is generally pretty pleasant. We have a great apartment and the weather isn't too bad yet. I have not been the victim of stray mucus since that one sticky incident. Things are going rather well.
EXCEPT for the whole coping with Chinese hospitality thing.
Courage to change the things I can...
Case 1: Molly's 29th Birthday -
I know that they were trying to make it a really special event (and I can recognize the thoughtfulness) but really, a five and a half hour dinner? AND drinking games for the majority of that time when the guest of honor is a non-drinker. But I have already ranted about this so I won't go into it again.
Case 2: Come Meet My Friend -
Matt and I have decided that he is just not allowed out by himself anymore because something always happens.
Matt went to go pay our phone bill so it wouldn't get shut off (in hindsight that might not have been such a bad thing). On his way back he ran into one of the senior English teachers that he works with. The English teacher said that his friend really wanted to meet Matt and if he would be willing to go to his office. Matt agreed and they went to the traffic bureau.
There, he met with the #2 guy in charge of traffic - yes, the #2 guy in charge of traffic (hmmm...there are like 400 cars in the city)! So, they sat around there for a bit (Matt truly just sitting as they were not really speaking to him and just speaking to each other in Chinese). Finally, the moment of awe, in walks the #1 guy in charge of traffic (herein called #1TG)!
What winds up happening is I get a call (phone = trouble), it's Matt saying that the #1 guy in charge of traffic has invited us to dinner. I think it's a joke - I mean, #1TG, come on! Nope, serious, they will pick me up at the apartment. I wait. wait. wait. wait. still waiting. Phone rings - I am to meet them at the restaurant now - the English teacher says I can just hop in a cab - yeah, sure - me no speaky Chinese. So I walk to the traffic guy's dinner.
So, we're at the restaurant, I don't want beer. I want a soda. Ahhh, nice refreshing soda. I tell the English teacher that is what I want. He orders and tells me that I will be drinking fruit beer. I don't want nasty fruit beer (tastes like carbonated funk - stained band-aids), I want a Coke. No luck.
One hour...
The dice come out for drinking games.
Two hours...
Three hours...
We try to leave and were told that we can't and that it should only take us 5 minutes to prepare our lessons (we tried to use our classes as the out).
Four hours...
We really want to leave and are told to wait 20 more minutes.
Four and a half hours and we were finally permitted to go home.
The best part of the dinner was that the host, the #1TG wasn't even there for the majority of the time for his dinner!
Case 3: I want to INVITE you to dinner - Our 1st wedding anniversary -
This year we decided that we were going to celebrate our wedding anniversary early - as we were planning on being gone to Liupan Shan on the day of. So, we planned on making our precious boxes of jambalaya and red beans and rice (because we got engaged in New Orleans). But we had discovered that our phone line was not working. So we went down to China Telcom to get it worked out.
As soon as the phone was fixed and I was finishing up the anniversary feast, we get a call. Guess who? Yup, English teacher. He was calling to invite us to a dinner for one of his students. Matt told him, very nicely, that we could not because it was our anniversary and we had plans. Then English teach said, but you must, it has already been arranged. I will call you at 5:00 PM and will meet you at the gate of your apartment. Great.
So, we wait. wait. wait.
At 6:00 PM he decides to call us and say that he will be waiting for us at the gate in 5 minutes. So, we get there and wait. wait. wait. Finally, he shows up. We go to the restaurant (the same one we had just been to for the other marathon dinner). We find out that neither of us actually have this student, and really, it was more of a, "Look how important I am, I can get the foreigners to come" type of thing.
One hour...
Dice come out, drinking games commence. I get fruit beer.
Two hours...
I wave down a waitress and order a Coke directly from her. English teacher gives me a look. The children of the hosts come to say hello to their teachers. I find out that I have their son in my junior 3 special class.
Three hours...
We speak English with their kids. Matt begins the exit strategy (it is our anniversary, we must get home so I can surprise my wife).
Three and a half hours...
The dinner is far from over, but we are able to leave because, well, IT IS our wedding anniversary.
There is just something about being invited to something and being told that we have to do it.
Case 4: The Kidnapping -
Matt had been talking to the English teacher (before the traffic cop dinner) about going to Liupan Shan sometime over the weekend. We left the Saturday night dinner with the English teacher saying that he would call us about the mountain any time he felt like it.
So, around 9:50 AM he calls. Wakes us up. Tells us that we will meet him at our gate in 5 minutes. Matt says that we will need at least 15 min. English teachers says 5 min, Matt says 15 min., English teacher says okay 5 min. and hangs up.
We get ready as fast as we can and go out to the gate where we wait. wait. wait. wait. Finally, a police car pulls up to the curb and he tells us to hop in. So, off we go to the mountain, or so we think.
We pull into a driveway - perhaps picking up some other people. Nope! We get out of the car and walk into #1TG's home. There was some food out for us. We thought, okay, so a little quick nosh and then off to the mountain. Wrong! Just when I was about to pull off a piece of bread a group of about 12 kids file in. They are here to practice their English - for the next FOUR hours!
I mean, really, how much can the average adult really find to talk about with a 12-14 year old? Much less for FOUR hours and in a language that the kid is learning? I honestly wanted to poke my eyes out.
Lunch.
Finally, at 2:00 PM we leave for the mountain. Liupan Shan was really beautiful and everything, but I just am not sure that it was worth enduring the four hours of tween (y'know, not quite teen, but in-between) and teen chat at #1TG's house. We spent about 2 hours getting there and coming back.
Sensing a dinner, Matt and I decided to try to get an exit plan started in the car. So we chat about a phone call that I am expecting from my parents in the US (trying the family angle). We ask how long it will take to get back and say to them that "that will work out really well because my parents will be calling at 7 PM". Then, right after English teacher has that morsel of information I heard him talking with #1TG about going to dinner. What is wrong with this guy!
We notice that we didn't take the turn that we would need to get home. Instead, we pull into a restaurant. We say that we don't think that we will have time because I have to get home for the phone call. Blank stares. They do rush through dinner, but we don't get home until after 7 PM - too late for my fake phone call. English teacher knew this and was noticeably absent from the car that took us home (as he lives just down the alley from us).
If they would just ask us, things would generally be okay and we would be willing to spend 4 hours with kids, etc. But the demanding, the disregard for our personal plans and the bamboozling just doesn't put us in the most cooperative mood (to put it nicely).
...and the wisdom to know the difference.
So the phone can ring...there will just be no answer.
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